dancing horses

dancing horses

Thursday, August 30, 2018

Persistant or Stubborn?

per·sist·ent
pərˈsist(ə)nt/
adjective
  1. 1. 
    continuing firmly or obstinately in a course of action in spite of difficulty or opposition.
    "one of the government's most persistent critics"
    synonyms:tenacious, persevering, determinedresolutepurposefuldoggedsingle-mindedtirelessindefatigablepatientunflagginguntiringinsistentimportunaterelentlessunrelenting
  2. 2. 
    continuing to exist or endure over a prolonged period.
    "persistent rain will affect many areas"
    synonyms:constantcontinuous, continuing, continualnonstopnever-endingsteadyuninterruptedunbrokeninterminableincessantunceasingendlessunendingperpetualunremittingunrelentingrelentlessunrelievedsustained

media from my lesson today (spoiler: it was awesome)

I am sure that at least some of the people reading my blog wonder why I keep Carmen instead of sell her.

It has crossed my mind a few times too.

I don't know that I have a good reason that would make my reader go 'oooh, that makes PERFECT sense'.

Part of it is my own inner nature that hates to give up on things. Like ever. Like drove my mother crazy and probably Ed now.


yes we are cantering to that corner, no we're not gonna die,
Yes I am serious. No you can't run away.
While you can see all the tension in her here you can also see
how fit she's become. 

Part of it is that she's not an idiot all the time. If you pick out her stall you will find her very polite. She leads, ties three ways (ground, cross and single). She's easy to do ground work with. She self-loads (that  did not come pre-installed, it was, as they say, after market add on). 

Part of it is that I can do things like this and there is no worry:



All this tells me that she's not without hope. 

That somewhere in there is a sensible and brave horse who can think and be reasonable. 

In our lesson today I spoke to Shanea and told her how I've been feeling. What I love about Shanea is that she doesn't try to talk me out of how I feel but acknowledges that legitimacy of those feelings without making me feel like a sucky rider. 

Our lesson today was awesome, mostly. It gives me confidence that I can help her through this crap she's pulling right now. 

really happy with this halt
 Carmen has a ton of talent. She's beginning to push from behind and float.
ignore the open mouth, she wasn't pulling so perhaps she was chomping? 

And then there's ephemeral and impervious to logic fact that I love this horse. 

I don't know if she 'loves' me but I do know that she is attached and trusts me. And for now that is enough. 

We head to our last show tomorrow and it really could go either way. But the only way to get comfortable to show is to go to shows. So we will go and see what happens. I do have my goals set, which can be summed up as 'ride the damn horse and don't give up'. That may involve alcohol. 

I don't know what that makes me but I'm okay with being called stubborn.....



26 comments:

  1. You know I support you all the way and I'm on board with what you say, but....

    Your post could have been mine before my accident. I'm someone who peseveres when others wouldn't. Gids was a great horse and talented and liked me. I did lots of great fun stuff with him: heaps of things other people with quieter horses wouldn't do. But... his underlying personality trait was hyper awareness and anxiety (reactive) and despite everything we did that never went away and was ultimately the cause of my accident.

    To continue riding afterwards I HAD to get a quiet horse (not dull, just honest and genuinely pretty quiet). And OMG I wish someone had told me at the beginning of my riding career how much more fun it is riding a horse that is all those good things and never to persevere with a horse that was less than that.

    I won't ever go back to my attitude before. I have a friend who has a LOT of horses and anything she doesn't enjoy riding or that puts her in danger more than a couple of times she retires. Before my smash I used to think she was over-reacting a bit but I totally get her position now. LIFE IS TOO SHORT. Unless riding those kinds of horses is fun for you it's not worth it. Imo.

    I've got 3 babies coming on. They will get the best start I can give them and they were bred for temperament above all else. But if their temperament isn't quiet and their attitude is not right when under saddle, I won't be riding them. (As I wouldn't sell them either they'd just be paddock ornaments).

    As I said, I'm on your side. But I also want to remind you you have choices. :)

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    1. I so appreciate your honesty. I tpreally do. And I agree with you. At this point I’m feeling ok with my decisions. But I hope I’m not blind.

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  2. Carmen may still have her difficult moments but she is still learning. Think of how far you've come since the beginning. Everything takes time and I'm sure she is quite attached to you and the gang at your place.

    I had a horse in the beginning of my riding career (17-2hh Grey Dutch Warmblood from Holland)who would spook and spin and bolt all the time. He didn't do it out of meanness he was just genuinely afraid of everything. I loved him and he loved me. I had him from a 3 yr. old til he died at 17. It wasn't always rainbows and unicorns but we worked it out over the years. I'm not good with giving up or letting go, so we stuck it out and were fine.

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  3. I have been in your shoes a lot. And recently, have seen the bad affects of that, as you know. However, the horse I persisted with never had the foundation that Carmen does. I think we have to be a little stubborn and a little persistent with any horse. Some more than others. For what you want to do with showing, it does require a different level of athleticism. It should also be fun. Good luck at your show tomorrow. I hope she does well for you like she has in the past.

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    1. Thank you. She has certainly made me develop as a rider.

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  4. Shanea sounds like such an asset. Being able to talk through our feelings without someone constantly trying to wipe them away or “cheer us up” is so important. Sometimes it’s ok to not feel great about things, we just gotta adapt evolve overcome, right? FWIW I also consider myself a pretty stubborn / persistent rider. Mostly bc the payoff is so much sweeter after dealing with some adversity. I think you and Carmen make a great pair. She’s not a horse that just anybody could be successful with - for instance I’m not sure I would be a good match for her - but you two seem to do really well! Good luck this weekend !

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    1. Shanea is awesome. I think riding is always with some struggle and it’s food to break through.

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  5. I've been there on a horse that still uses the same evasions and I have seriously considered selling him. However, I have chipped away at the obstacles hindering us (bitting issues forever, physical issues for always), and working on keeping calm and forward even when the ancient crone inside me is screaming "we are going to die".

    As long as you do not feel in serious danger (like Carmen is out to get you and stomp your head in) and are willing to ride through her BS, eventually it will get better and her energy and animation will be channeled into the dressage movements. If you want to advance in dressage, you need that fire.

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    1. I have felt at risk for falling a few times but she’s never been out to get me if that makes any sense.

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  6. I like the word persistent more than stubborn. Good for you on being persistent! It seems like you are doing a great job with Carmen and sometimes the best reward is to see improvement in those challenging ones.

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  7. Lol, granted my family says I'm pretty stubborn too but I've never seen anything that made me think you should sell her. I think the growth process, inconsistent as it may be at times, is part of what keeps riding interesting for a lot of us. If I wanted a going show horse I would have bought one instead of a thoroughbred off the track, but that's not the journey I wanted to be on. :)
    Good luck at your show!!

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    1. Thank you for that. I admire people who help these ex race horses. It can’t be easy

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  8. I've owned horses like that and some of them were the most rewarding ones!!

    Also, I think I'm going to change my phrasing in my lessons from, "If he's stubborn, you be more stubborn," to, "If he's stubborn, you be more persistent..."

    Thanks for the inspiration ;)

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  9. I'm the most stubborn person I know, virtual high five for being persistent, you're among friends :) I think any horse/rider partnership is going to come with it's own set of challenges. I admire that you always come across as being very realistic and tuned into where things are at with you two, and are quick to get help when you feel you need it.If it matters at all, I've never read anything here that's made me doubt you aren't going to have a fantastic partner in Carmen.

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    1. You are correct that every partnership faces it's challenges. It's easy to think that others have it 'easier'. And thanks for your encouragement.

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  10. I think Carmen is very happy that you are persistant! :)

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  11. I think you need one of those "Nevertheless, she persistent" bumper stickers for your horse trailer!

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  12. <3 Ride the horse. Have fun. Be there for her. Those should always be the first goals. Don't forget to look back at how far y'all have come. For a moment, imagine a couple years from now. You will be that much further together. It is never an easy road nor a straight one. Every horse needs someone that will not ever give up on them.

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    1. "Every horse needs someone that will not ever give up on them." this is so true

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  13. Stubbornly persistent. Persistently stubborn. Tenacious, perhaps. Regardless, all are great qualities to have when you have a horse like Carmen. You've got this. And it's gonna get better. I just know it. <3

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    1. Thank you so much. I really appreciate all the support.

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