Since the show I've been directly targeting Quaid's separation anxiety. It really wasn't rocket science. What I'm doing is brining both horses in when I ride. So one is in the ring and one is in the stall. It's been a bit of PITA, to be honest, but has shown some interesting things.
fall colours are coming out
As expected, Quaid was a bit tense the first few times. Also, as expected, both horses are better being the ones leaving vs being left. There were a lot of sad whinnies. And a few outraged ones (looking at you Carmen).
Surprisingly, Carmen is the one struggling the most with this. Like she is not a fan at all. Quaid's crying is causing her all sorts of tension and worry. Even when he's quiet, she's more tense. I say that this is surprising because she seems totally okay with this when we travel. But it's possible/probable that it bothered her more than I realised.
Qaid: 'DON'T LEAVE ME! Carmen: be brave and I'll be back. Probably. Also, don't eat all the hay while I'm gone.
She is just now starting to settle a bit. It helps that that whinnying has died down significantly.
Quaid, however, seems to be better with it. At least when being ridden. After a couple tense rides he's settled into work like everything is fine. When Carmen whinnies, he cocks an ear and that's it. He is struggling more with being left but is doing way better. There is much less calling.
I feel that, at the very least, they will learn to ignore the calling when we travel. It's a theory, anyway, so don't burst my bubble.
Some other interesting things have happened too. I've noticed that both of them are much more attached to me even when I'm out doing other things. Especially Quaid. He'll come trotting up to the fence when he sees me.
The other thing is that they have figured out that one of them will be locked up so when I bring in one. It use to be that whoever I haltered, the other would follow. Now the other tries to stay out in the field.
I'm fine here. Really. Carry on.
When I go to get them they come right in but it's kinda cute. Every now and then I leave one out to see if they become fixated. So far they do not.
Is this the answer? Hard to tell until we go somewhere and I ride them separately. But it is helping my rides at home. So we'll see.
Last week Julia messaged me that she was coming home for a short vacation and could she come and visit. I, of course, said yes. We picked Sunday and I texted her asking if she was just visiting, wanted to ride or did she want an adventure.
Being Julia she chose option 3. I reached out to Tanya and she was game too. She brought along a young rider as well. So that's how four of us (me, Tanya, Julia and a junior) headed to Coveside to ride the trails. It was a beautiful sunny fall day. The horses loaded up and we hit the road.
Quaid: what's going on? Carmen: Save your energy kid
We tacked up and mounted pretty quickly and headed out. Because Quaid can get a bit defensive with horses behind him so we put him at the rear behind Carmen. That seemed to work really well. Carmen is quite happy in any spot, front, rear or middle but I think she prefers the middle.
Carmen: it's only logical. Everyone knows that the predators pick off the front or rear of the pack.
Quaid: but I was at the rear?!
Carmen: Exactly!
Quaid: .......
heading out
It was such a lovely ride. The horses were all pretty settled, despite some early tension. I think that they were enjoying the lovely weather and getting out of the ring. We did quite a few hills. I was so impressed with how Carmen put her head down and used her hind end to push up the hills. She was just motoring. She handled the downslopes well too. Quaid did really well at the back too. I rode mostly with a long rein.
Near the end we tried to find the small church on the property. Tanya remembered it and we headed that way. It was at the top of a long hill. Carmen started off motoring but it was a long hill and a steady climb. About 2/3 of the way up she ran out of steam.
Carmen: we don't need to get to the church because I'm about to meet Jesus.
Me: you can do it!
Carmen: *sigh* fine.
Me: totally worth it right? Carmen: well it is pretty
Quaid: so that's a church. The grass around it looks yummy.
The last few times we took Quaid here he found it a bit overwhelming and didn't seem to enjoy it. This time he was much more relaxed. Not totally but Julia said that he was really good about listening to her directions.
After the church we headed back to the trailers and then decided to head to the jump ring. The view from there is spectacular. We then decided to play with the poles on the ground.
I think Carmen and I are ready to be jumpers. I love how this mare puts up with my silliness
And Quaid was so serious, it was adorable:
There was a lot of giggling.
We headed home tired but a happy tired. Training can feel like a grind sometimes and it's easy to feel like you are on a bit of a treadmill. Sometimes you just need to relax and be a little silly and enjoy the privilege of having horses.
I had entered Quaid in Intro B & C for the show. Intro C has a bit of canter in it on both leads and I knew we could definitely do it. I had spent the weeks leading up to the show practicing the 'pick up X lead in first quarter of circle' and 'transition to trot' before A. I wanted to be sure that we could do it with zero issues at home before asking for it at the show venue. Honestly, we cantered here, there and everywhere. We were the Roy Kent of cantering.
I had booked an hour in the ring on Friday for us to practice and to work on him being comfortable. Spoiler alert: he was not comfortable. In fact he was totally NOT comfortable and had zero desire to listen to me (or Jane). It was incredibly frustrating. Jane did a good job of keeping me from getting harsh or busy with my hands but it was tiring. Near the end we still hadn't successfully cantered and my time was ticking away. I was determined to get the canter. He was determined to buck and scoot and run sideways. The volunteers were trying to catch my eye to let me know my time was up and I was not making eye contact, lol. I even said to him I don't fucking care, we're cantering. Finally I got a good (well half-way decent and not at all dangerous) canter and I halted and hopped off. I was about 15 minutes over my time (sorry, not sorry).
I was a bit discouraged. And, to be totally honest, for the first time I thought 'what if I can't get him through this? I will have to sell him'. It is just so fucking glaring the difference between home and away. If he acted like that at home I would never dream of taking him anywhere because we wouldn't be ready. But he doesn't. It's not like he doesn't have feelings or acts up at home. He does, but it's short lived and he gets on with it.
Anyway, Saturday morning was on him about 45 minutes before our first test. He was, as expected, tense in the warm up but Jane kept us on track and we were able to do all the things. Including some half-decent canter in the warm up ring. Intro B is just walk and trot and he felt really good. There were zero shenanigans and I was really happy with our test. Our scores were mostly 6's with a couple 7's and 6.5s for a final score 62.8. The judge noted some tension and wanted 'more forward and uphill balance'.
pro photo from the test. I think we look pretty good here
There was a short wait between this one and our next one. In the warm up I just worked on keeping him focussed and supple. The test went really well up until I asked for the first canter. And that was a giant 'nope'. I regrouped and asked again. It was a flail, a teeny bit of canter and then we fell out of it. All of this garnered us a score of 1 (for canter) and 0 (for the transition from and back to trot). But the good news was that we regrouped and carried on. Our second canter actually happened. But it was tight and the circle was smaller than the required 20 m. I knew that but felt that it was better to just accept that we cantered and not get too much in the weeds lol. Our scores ranged from 0 to 7 for a final score of 53.5. The judge noted 'some tension' and that there was 'potential for much better riding experience when addressed'. Which made me laugh. It reminded me of report cards when the teacher wrote 'Teresa has a lot of thoughts that she likes to share".
But overall, he was much more rideable than Friday and I was pleased that we worked through it. I celebrated by buying this hat that a vendor had:
from Blondie's Cinches. It felt apt.
On Sunday I also planned to a 40 minute warm up. He was a lot quieter and seemed more settled. Our first test (Intro B) felt really good. In all he felt more with me and relaxed. He was a bit tight in the free walk and I didn't let him out completely so the judge dinged me on that (fair). At times he got a little low in the neck as well. I think that was fatigue. Either way we ended up with a 60.
We did a little walking around and some cantering before C. I could tell he was tired but still had gas in the tank. Again, he got a little low at times but was very rideable. Then we got to the first canter circle. He was a firm no on that again. I didn't give up but kept asking because he can't learn that bucking stops the work. The score was a 1 with the comment 'much bucking'. And a transition score of 1.
I honestly can't believe I sat that ( I tried to buy it but the show photographer said that bucking photos are free lol)
When it was time for our second canter he was all ready to battle. I decided that I was just going to ride it out and he needed to sort himself out. That got us a 3 because he was disunited, then switched and finally sorted himself out while I stayed up and balanced. The good news is that we tripled our score lol. And the transition in and out got a 5 so.... a massive improvement (*lol*sob*). Our final score was 53.5 with comments about tension and riding the horse forward. Noted.
After Jane wanted me to go back to the warm up and canter him. I took him and back and really tried but he was completely done and could not horse. I realised that he was past the point of being able to learn and we were interfering with others trying to warm up so I got a nice trot and called it a day.
Funnily enough I didn't end the show with the thoughts that I have to sell him. Other than the canter debacle he became more and more rideable as we went on. So I persevere.
Jane and I have a theory that a lot of this is stemming from separation anxiety. So we have a plan that we're executing at home. I'll write more on how that's going another day.
I know that I owe an update on Quaid and the show. Bear with me, it's coming. As with most things with him these days it was a mixed bag and I'm sorting through it in my head. That may take a while, lol.
But this post has been percolating in my brain for a few months now and I've decided to get it out my head and onto the blogosphere.
You're welcome.
I helped my friend take her horses to the vet. I got to hold Ms. Fizzy. She is as adorable as she looks.
I am a Gen X-er and one thing that makes me profoundly grateful about that is the total lack of social media and phone cameras. Back then the closest we had to this was rumours and a polaroid camera. It's not the same. Photos cost money and no one knew how to edit them. These days it's so easy to snap a photo and use it to shame, bully or harass. It's even scarier with AI being able to create fake photos and videos.
It's not that people are worse. They are the same mixed bag of good, bad, nasty and kind they always were. What has changed is access. Keyboard warriors are everywhere and it is so easy for a photo or video to bring out the worst in people. Because everyone can post something it gives a sense of expertise that may be warranted but not necessarily.
On FB I have literally seen a post urging 24 hour turn and everyone chiming in with how great that is and anyone not keeping a horse on 30 acres of pasture 24 hours a day was abusive and didn't deserve them (of course not everyone but enough). Then another post came out saying 24 hour turn out was bad for horses and it got the same type of responses: forcing horses to be outside was cruel.
another photo to break up the wall of text. I think my kitty was assembled wrong.
Online bullying of riders, trainers, vets and other horse professionals is a real problem.
I recognise that I choose to have a blog and an online presence. It was a deliberate choice and one I don't regret. I haven't really had to deal with a bunch of trolls. Except when Steele died. I had quite a few show up on my blog which is why I now approve comments before they are published.
Now blogs are old school and maybe most of the trolls moved to TikTok. But I am aware that there is a risk of posting the things I do. Which is why I am very careful about the privacy of others who intersect in my horse life. Unless I know for sure that they are okay with me mentioning their names I don't. I use generic terms like 'friend, barn owner, etc.,. And I never mention juniors.
Cordelia has Pannus and UV rays make it worse. So she gets to look supercool in her doggles.
To me it seems that this is a good way to write about my adventures without compromising someone else's privacy. Maybe I'm overthinking it -because we all know that's my jam.
Do you think about these things when you post? How do you navigate it? Am I being too careful?
Last weekend was the horse show and it was an adventure and a half.
It all started last Sunday with my finding one of my trailer windows shattered. We're pretty sure a rock was thrown by the lawnmower. I had to wait until after the show to make an appointment so I used plastic and duct tape to keep everything dry. I put it on the inside and outside to make sure. Getting the tape off is a problem for a different day.
why yes that is a bag from the tack shop lol
Then on Wednesday and I was moving the truck and it died. whomp whomp.
I called CAA and they determined that it was the alternator. There was no way to get it fixed before Friday so it looked like the show was not going to happen. I was really bummed. Mostly because I had worked so hard on the freestyle and it was ready. Then a friend (a really good friend) reached out and said I could use her truck.
on it's way to truck hospital
Needless to say that by the time I had sorted all the logisitcs this week and packed everything I was pretty exhausted setting out. Once I got there I was determined to have a good time. I was super excited to see my horse friends and to ride Carmen. She has lost 100 pounds now and has been feeling really good. We'd been working hard on the freestyle the last few weeks.
Let me just say that choreographing a freestyle is hard. I had spent hours on it and finally figured I had it finalised. I had built in a couple spots to flex in case we were ahead or behind time. Carmen felt really good in our Friday warm up and I was able to run through it one more time to make sure there weren't any adjustment.
I had signed Carmen up to do one second level test on Saturday and Sunday, plus the freestyle on Saturday. Given that she came up lame at the last show I was keeping my fingers crossed that all would be well. Of course I have made a lot of changes with Carmen since then so it didn't feel like things would go wrong. But, also, horses.
Anyway we rode our test and it went well. Carmen felt really good and back to her old self. There were 5 people who signed up for a freestyle so they put them all at the end of the day. I was the last rider.
I had a bout of nerves when I went in and then just took a breath. The judge rang the bell and I got into position. My music was a compilation from the Zorro soundtrack. (long time readers may recall I did a pas de deux to this with Karen years ago at a cancer fundraiser show back in 2019). I have been listening to this music on repeat since I decided I was going for it. I know it backwards and forwards. But when the music started and it filled the arena I got goosebumps. My inner 12 year old laughed in glee and we were off.
And, oh my god, I had so much fun. I was having the time of my life. Carmen was being really good. There was one bobble in the canter work where I loosened the outside rein and she spooked. I couldn't get her back and decided to ride it forward. Anyway, here's the video:
After I felt wonderful. I hadn't even wondered about my score. My heart was full because I was dancing with my horse again. We ended up with a score of 63.2. The judge had a few comments. Most of which were negative: I had too many circles and she didn't like the canter music (myself, I LOVE the canter music). She did like my entry and my trot work was interesting. But honestly, I don't really care, lol.
The music is dramatic. So it Carmen. So am I at times. The older I get the more I realise I want to ride with joy. Could the test be heavily critiqued. Sure. But I'm not at the olympics and I don't care to do anything to take away the joy I felt doing it with Carmen. Those watching seemed to really like it and a few people after told me they enjoyed it. Either way we were reserve champs for the 2nd level bronze freestyle. And I got a lovely saddle pad.
I don't think you can quite see the amount of glitter it has....
Quite a few people told me that Carmen was looking a lot better. Some commented on how happy she looked when I was riding her. The judge thought my horse beautiful and had a lot of power that I should learn to channel (working on it lol). On Sunday she was lovely and sound. We had a nice test and I was glad to head home.
I found out today that Carmen and I were actually 2nd level champs at the show. It never even occurred to me that we were in the running. Like I said, my joy was from advancing my riding, hanging with friends and riding that freestyle. It was a definite highlight. I'm pretty sure that Carmen enjoyed it as well.
The positive show experience really boosted my confidence that I was on the right track. And that I was making progress in small steps.
The next weekend was our wedding anniversary and Ed and I went away for a weekend break. We rented a small cottage on the ocean with a hot tub and a sauna. It was lovely to get away and unplug for a couple nights. The first night we went out to dinner and the second we cooked at the cottage.
We went to Carter's beach for a few hours
I came back feeling rejuvenated and ready to get back to things. The weather has been lovely and I've been able to ride every day. I've been continuing with the paying attention to the small things and not letting it slide.
And wow it's working. Quaid and I are cantering all over the place. His balance is really improving. I've been also focusing on half-halts. We walk-halt-walk-halt-walk-almost halt- walk on. Rinse, repeat. And then trying it at the canter. At first it was all very confusing to him and we had a lot of breaking into a fast trot and head flinging. But we found our groove. Not that it's perfect. But it's progress.
true for all the disciplines I think
What I like is how easily he picks up the canter now and I'm sitting much better. And when it falls apart we regroup and get back to it.
enjoying some pre-ride scritches
Carmen is also doing really well and she's down 90 pounds! I haven't had to a use a grazing muzzle which is great. Being able to exercise her helps a lot. We're back to normal work and she feels great. There's much more push in her stride. I realised how much I missed riding her. I also realised that time is ticking by and I have no idea how she'll be next year. So I signed us up to do a Freestyle in the show in September. I've noodled with the idea off and on but always bailed. Now I'm buckling down.
And choreographing a freestyle is hard you guys. I measured out the timing of the music and asked Chat CPT to design one for me with the timing of X minutes trot/walk/canter. I figured I could take it and edit it. Turns out that AI has zero idea how to design a freestyle. It was not just objectively bad, it was impossible. Like it thought that C was on the sides and put in a half-pass (which is illegal at our level) from C to C. It was kind of funny.
In our rides we warm up and then I play the music and try out various configurations. Carmen has started to recognise the music and the transitions. Either way it will be a lot of fun.
I'm hoping that we'll have a lesson this weekend. I want Jane to see where we are. It feels like a good place.
In my last post I wrote about taking Quaid to a clinic at a location he'd been to many times before. And it did not go well. But I learned a ton and was quite motivated to solve this issue. The next week I took him to Krista's to lesson (I took both of them actually). I was thinking that we could move forward with things. Quaid had other ideas. The first few minutes things were going well and he was flowing forward. Until he wasn't. Jane had us going forward and even cantering. The idea was that shenanigans did not equal getting out of work. At one point Quaid was a total ball of chaos underneath of me and Jane told me to canter. I may or may not have sworn at that idea, lol. Anyway it was a sweaty ride but I felt like I had stayed calm and on task.
The next week I really paid attention in my rides to the small resistances. Things that I usually would dismiss as unimportant. But I was wondering if these weren't unimportant to Quaid and I was sending the message that it was okay to not listen to me. And when he was ramped up that I would not accept his big resistances was, to him, inconsistent. The plan was to pay attention and to, not punish, but to insist. So when he was lagging at the walk or not bending I would insist. And it seemed to be working. He was feeling more responsive and tuned in. One day I even rode him to the gate, dropped it from his back and rode down to the barn. And he was unfazed by it.
I had a lesson with Jane at home on Sunday and it was really really good. She was honing in on getting him bending off the inside leg and flowing forward. When he was bending he would be using his hind end and could not pull any shenanigans. I could feel him lifting his back and pushing from behind. We even did 10m canter circles.
And the timing was good because the I had signed up for a small show. I had done it after the clinic as part of the plan to get him used to going to places and working. I had heard that it was laid back show and it was pretty inexpensive. As we got closer to the date I had some serious doubts. But I reminded myself that the only way to learn to do the thing and was to do the thing. And I figured at the very least it would be a schooling session. I had signed up for Intro A & B which was early in the morning.
I got up at 5:30, had coffee and breakfast, braided Quaid and loaded him on the trailer. My friend Paula met me there. The venue was a large open field. On one side was a line of dense trees. The dressage ring was beside that. Next to it was a grass warm up ring, then a tent, then a sand ring and a barn. The trailers were all parked along the back. In other words there was a lot to look at: horses, people, tents, trailers, chairs, etc.
I got walked him around and let him look at all the things. Then I tacked him up and rode him to the sand ring. I began with what we had done in our lesson. Small circles with bending. And I could feel him go 'oh yeah! I know this'. I was quite happy. We had a little moment where he stiffened and tried to go sideways but I was able to ride him out of it.
We then moved to the grass ring because that's where all the horses were. And it was closer to the dressage ring. He was a bit distracted but I kept to the plan. I rode the horse I had and asked him to step under and tune in. There was a horse that came in that was quite ramped up. He was being quite lively.
Quaid: OMG what's happening?! Is it a bear? Do we run?
Me: you don't need to worry about that at all. We just need to be doing our circles. What's happening over there is not our business.
Quaid: phew. Okay.
I then went over to wait our turn for our first test. Before I had us at 50/50 getting in the ring. Now I was feeling more optimistic.
waiting our turn
When it was our turn I walked him up the long side and up to the trailer where the judge and scribe were sitting. For many horses it's a spooky thing. And when we walked up he was really surprised to see people there. I stood him there and chatted with him while he settled. The judge and scribe were great and talked to him too.
Quaid: wait, so people can go in trailers? How come you never ride with us?
Me: because I am driving.
Quaid: maybe the male servant could drive next time.
Soon enough the bell rang and we went in. It's a pretty simple test and, spoiler, it went really well. He was tuned into me and ignored everything. He as tight and had some questions but he totally listened to me. Not once did he say 'no'. I was so happy with him when we were done.
a little tight but definitely listening
Originally my rides were over an hour apart but when I arrived I was told that some people hadn't come and the schedule was changed. But not how it changed. So when I cam out there and the next horse went in and there was just one horse waiting I decided to go after her and be done. I stood with Quaid and, when he got restless I would walk him and then ask him to stand again.
We went in again and I could tell he was thinking 'hey, didn't we just do this? Oh look those people are still sitting in the trailer, why haven't they left yet? I never need to wait that long when you drive'.
I went in with more confidence and it really paid off. He was fabulous!
like look at us!
It was a really good test. I was thrilled. Here it is if you want to see it:
What I see is how we're having a conversation. It's not him saying 'no' and me saying 'you must'. Instead I'm guiding and asking and he's trying his heart out. He's not looking at the blowing trees or worried about the other horses or the trailer. I was so happy.
square halt! Quaid: was I good? Did we win?
I took him back to the trailer and untacked him. I had made a lunch for Paula and I and we had a sandwich while Quaid grazed by the trailer. After eating I told Paula that I was going to the bathroom and then loading him up. You should pick up your tests too she said. Oh right! I had totally forgotten that I had actual scores. But when I went to the office they weren't ready and they said it was going to be a while. So I texted Tanya who was coming to show late afternoon to pick them up for me. But I did buy two delicious cinnamon buns from the canteen for Paula and I.
I loaded Quaid and we were home by 1:30. I turned him out and thought about the experience. I believe that the openness helped us. He's used to being ridden outside. And the other horses were, perhaps, a comfort rather than a distraction. Not gonna lie, my first thought was that if I came off he'd be gone. But it never even felt like a possibility. I also think that my warm up picking up just from the lesson and asking him to follow that pattern was a help. He never had time to be distracted or make his own decisions. I think my paying attention to any small resistances in our warm up really made a difference.
Later that day Tanya text me that I had good scores and came second in both classes. Which was a shock because the classes were really big. But it was nice, even though I felt like I had already won.
