Hindsight: Looking Back on 2019

Carmen: what are we looking back at? Can we look for less snow? 

So, yeah, I am late with this. 

But that's okay. Winter is here and so I have more time (theoretically anyway). Last year I decided to focus on Process goals rather than specifics. After targeting these for a year I have to say that I am a fan. Basing goals on principles rather than specific outcomes allowed me the flexibility to target things as they arose without feeling like I was failing. 

I find that reviewing past goals helps me to develop smart goals for the upcoming year. So here's the recap along with some highs and lows of 2019. 

Goals: 

1. Build a foundation of relaxation with Carmen & Myself:   

We made a lot of progress in this. Joining the TRT website has help immeasurably with this. I took these tools with me to shows and clinics and I find that she's more curious at new locations now rather than highly suspicious. 

I also take advantage of toys where we go

 Carmen has learned to look for answers- at least from the ground. When she's tense and I draw her attention to her rigid neck she now drops and relaxes right away. 

Under saddle is still a work in progress. But I have come to realize that this is up to me to control myself, not Carmen.  I find that if she gets tense and starts to unravel simply stopping and dropping the reins allows her to take a breath and regroup. At some point I may be doing this at a clinic and I hope I can explain the why to the clinician. But it works so I will do it as needed. 

Highlights for me occurred when I took her places and people commented on how calm she was (those who hadn't met her before) and those who remarked the change. Sometimes it can feel that progress is minimal. 

actually trying to stretch at the walk at a show. 

2. Create a work flow that makes sense to both of us and is fun. 

I really feel that we have made gains in this as well. This year I have done obstacles, a lot of trail riding and even some jumping. I am working hard on not drilling but to let us have success and then let it go. Carmen is good at letting me know when I'm pushing too hard. 

we jump now. sort of. 

group trail ride

obstacles

3. Manage her diet and gut health-  I started the year with a plan and adjusted as we progressed. I now have a protocol that seems to really work for her. I have not seen any sign of ulcers, upset tummy in a few months (*runs off to knock on wood). What I find is that Carmen has really slowed down her eating. Before it used to seem frantic but now, even in the morning, she's relaxed. 

4. Improve the independence of seat, leg and hand. In addition to working on this when riding and in lessons I also directly targeted this with a Balance Clinic with Karen and two clinics with Johanna. Each time I had a mini breakthroughs in understanding that made a noticeable change in my riding.

Compare now(ish):  

October 2019

 To when I first started riding Carmen:

5. Keep learning: In 2019 I did two 3-day clinics with Johanna, one 3 day clinic with Karen, a 2 day clinic on Trail Obstacles with Nikki and Mike. I am grateful for the wonderful coaches I have found that encourage and help me to gain skills without getting frustrated with me. 

 In addition I audited a judging clinic and too too many lessons to count. It felt like a lot. And I would have even like to do more.  I continue to watch the videos on the TRT website and follow Warwick Schiller on YouTube. 

I will never be done learning. 

6. Spend more time with other horse people. I definitely was more concious of this for the year. I reached out and tried to connect with people at shows and clinics. I really enjoyed the camaraderie. I am fortunate to know so many supportive people- we are all different but joined by our love horses. 

such a fun gang to show with

7. Go to shows and stretch myself.  I planned to do three shows and ended up doing four. All felt like I was stretching myself and Carmen. We had some good rides (here too) and some bad ones. 

8. Teach Carmen to self-manage: rather than it all falling to me about how she feels and reacts, I want to give her the tools to manage herself. You can think of this as increasing her confidence. This means that it's okay if she makes a mistake and for me to help her find the answer rather than give it to her. It's interesting, she is really really trying now to figure things out. She still gets overwhelmed at times but it's so much less than before. 

Carmen: who me? 

Me: yes you

At the end of this year I find that I am not as wary or nervous riding her when she's up. Thanks to the Centered Riding coaching I'm able to keep my seat in the saddle and not tense so much that I pop out. It still happens at times but I can fix it much faster.

This year has had it's highs and lows. The lowest was not about Carmen- it had to do with the barn flooding. Which is probably a good thing. I spent the entire year waiting for the wheels to come off and they never did. Although we had a few flats (way to really push the analogy).  I think that's for a few reasons:

• managing Carmen's gut health
• doing a lot of very consistent ground work
• improving my riding skills

There were so many highlights: being with friends, showing, learning, trail riding. Riding second level. 

The highlight of the year? 

It has to be this: 

I've always wanted to ride to music. I've always wanted to do a Pas de Deux. Being able to do this with Karen and Kalimo made it truly epic. 

no matter what Carmen thinks

Wearing the costume was the icing on the cake. 

PC Amanda Stright

Carmen was a star about the whole thing. I swear she enjoyed the costume and roses in her mane. Finally, here was a show worth caring about. I could not stop laughing throughout. 

2019 was great year for Carmen and I. It wasn't until I started to look back on it that I realize how much fun I truly had. It's so easy to get stuck focusing on what is not great that I lose sight of the gains we made. 

Here's to 2020! 

Potion Making

So after weeks of rain and mud the temperature dropped suddenly and a bitter wind began to blow. I had to cancel a lesson because it was so horrible. Today is beautiful but Carmen is lame. I can't find any heat or swelling- I think that it's likely a stone bruise/ possible abscess from the sudden change in footing.

At least I'm 90% sure that's what it is. The other 10% is convinced that she's going to die. But let's not dwell on that.

would rather be doing this....

In the meantime I thought I should write about how I try to manage Carmen's gut health. You may recall that last year I treated her for ulcers with good results. I was really concerned that they would recur this summer when we started to travel to events. And we all know that I love a good plan.

First thing I did was sign up for an online course at Equine Guelph on gut health. I learned that I already know a lot but there were a few things that helped me figure out what to do. The main thing is to not have their gut empty. Which is a huge issue when you have a horse that would eat herself into blimpdom.

Forage: A slow feed haynet is the answer. Carmen also shreds them like paper. I started using the web ones and so far so good. While they don't slow down as much as a small hole haynet it does help.

Feed: During the warm months she has access to pasture which is so good for them. I switched feeds to the local feed store brand of fibre nuggets. It is essentially fortified hay and both horses are doing really well on it. You can feed it straight or soaked. I do both- I need to soak it to add in the vitamins and minerals I add.

Supplements: 

I have gone from a person who 'didn't believe in supplements' to one who uses them regularly. I try to make sure that there is science behind it. These are what I add:

Magnesium Oxide: I started Irish on this to see if it would help his head shaking. There is research that it helps about 50% of headshakers. It turned out to really work for him and now he barely shows any. I wondered it if had to do with my pastures and hay being low in Mg so I feed it to both horses. It can be an expensive supplement but I buy the Mag Oxide from the local feed store  by the bag (it's a cattle feed additive) and it works out to about $40/year.

Pre/Pro Biotic: This was recommended by the equine dietitian on the course. I use the Mad Barn brand but there are many out there.

Vitamin E/Selenium: Irish is on a mega dose of Vitamin E for his neuro issues but that's another post. There is evidence that our area is really low in selenium and I don't want any issues to pop up down the road.

Chaste Tree Berry: Now this one is a bit of a stretch. Carmen is more spooky and reactive when she's in heat. She also acts sore and needs a long slow warm up. I had been doing some research and there is evidence that this can help. It is also supposed to be good for those horses who are insulin resistant. As an Andalusian I know that this is a risk for her. It seemed to be a cheap experiment so I decided to try it. I am not sure if it's helping with everything but I do find that she's not so tight and sore during her heats. Sometimes it's hard to tell if she's in heat so that is staying. She also loves the taste of it.

this is the brand I use. There are others. 

Aloe Vera Juice: Believe it or not there is actual scientific research that shows that this can be of benefit to horses. Not at the same level as omeprazole but it does help. I buy it from Walmart of all places. It is palatable for horses and cheap.


Ulcer Meds: When Carmen and I head to a show I start dosing her with Omeprazole two days before we leave and while we're away.

Acid Management: While I groom and tack up Carmen I put a wheelbarrow of hay in front of her. This makes sure that there's something in her stomach to absorb any acid. The day that we trailer anywhere I give her Di Calcium Phosphate in her morning feed. This is an acid neutralizer. It's not good for an ongoing basis but every now and then is fine.

 I also do my best (as you know) to manage her stress levels overall during our rides. I don't always succeed but I feel that I have more good rides than bad.

 I don't know if all of this is needed but, as Ed says, it's all cheaper than treating for ulcers. This year she didn't show any signs of ulcers so I'm feeling pleased with myself. Now I hope that I'm right about her lameness.

Well Hello There

Carmen continues to improve in her mood and attitude every day. We've finished the Sulcrate on Saturday. I think she's missing the 'extra' meals that I used to give it to her but is handling it well.

I threw this tree into the field- Carmen came right up to it and is
now giving me the 'eye'. 

I have been super impressed by how easy she's been to give her the tube of Omeprazole. I put on her halter now and she starts to chew getting ready. I put it next to her mouth and after an initial moving away she opens her mouth and lets me squirt it all in and then she gulps it down. I don't even have to hold her anymore. I was worried that it would make her resent me but the opposite seems to be happening. On Saturday I came into the field with some flakes of hay and she came galloping and nickering to me. Clearly the hay helped but I've done that before and have not gotten that reaction.

It took until this weekend for me to finally start to feel like myself. Friday was bitterly cold and every time I went out I bundled up. Saturday was cold and rainy so I just puttered around the house and didn't worry about working Carmen. Sunday though was a beautiful fall day.

love my morning walks in my woods

I decided that I should do something with Carmen. The temptation is to ride but Ed was away for the weekend and it didn't seem that riding for the first time since last Sunday when I was all alone would be the smart thing to do. So I decided to do some ground work with her. 

And you guys- she was a totally different horse. There was no sign of this nervous, flinching wreck from two weeks ago.  

trying out her new rope halter.
C'mon Carmen put your ears forward and open your eyes
Carmen: no

I picked up a rope halter from the local store and decided to use that. I think I tied it correctly (I had my phone out checking online while I tied it up):

does this look right?
Also, Carmen put your ears up

Carmen was definitely more alert in the far corner but she settled really quickly. It was clear that not only was she tuned in but she was pretty relaxed about the whole thing. I could get her to canter and then have her stand and relax. 

Me: Carmen, I'm taking your photo. Could you put your ears up?
Carmen: why? I'm relaxed. what more do you want?
Me: sigh

One of the things I've learned about ground work this year is that it's not so much what you ask for - it's about the handler being really clear with what she wants and the horse trying to find the answer. I like playing with my body language and seeing how she responds. We walked around the ring with her following. I decided to see if I could push her away and draw her back by just rotating my shoulders. It worked like a dream. As I walked and turned my shoulders towards her she yielded into the centre and when I turned my shoulder back and headed toward the rail she followed. At no time did I have to tug on the lead.  We ended there. 

Irish has had his nose a bit out of joint. He's used to being the one that needs the extra care but I've been giving that to Carmen. He's getting quite grumpy. Today I took him out to clean off his back legs and then put on the protective spray/powder. It was clear that he felt much better after. Poor baby. 

I am feeling so much more optimistic than I was earlier this month. I have a lesson booked for Tuesday (fingers crossed for good weather). I plan to keep it positive and light but it will be good to have eyes on the ground. 

I don't expect her to lose all her sass. After all she wouldn't be Carmen then. But I like the path we seem to be on. 

A Spoonful of Sugar

Full Confession- I have loved Mary Poppins since I was a child. Loved the books (although I haven't read them in decades) and adored the movie. A couple years ago we went to a local theatre putting in on and it was fabulous. 

I was pretty much laid out after the ride on Sunday (the really flu kicked my butt and I was unable to return to work until Weds). Sunday night Ed asked me why I went.
Weren't you having trouble with her? 
Yes I said but things have been better since I started treating her for ulcers. I explained what I had been seeing and when I thought it all started. He listened carefully and nodded. I said that I was going to call the vet to discuss perscription meds.
It's not like you can stop showing her or going to clinics. 
No. Well (I stopped, thinking that he was asking me), I could but....
No,I mean that of course you're not going to stop going to shows and clinics. 

Isn't he awesome? On Monday I called my vet and outlined what my concerns were. He listened, asked some questions and then agreed that it sounded very plausible that Carmen had ulcers. I had two alternatives 1) take her to the next province to the vet college (a long haul) for a scope or 2)treat and see if it made a difference.

I opted for door #2. Partly to save money, partly to avoid the stress of a long haul (I've never done one before) and mostly to save Carmen the stres of the procedure. My vet was fine with that. Can I just say that I love that my vet returns calls and is willing to consult over the phone with no fee?

Two hours later I had a call that my perscription was ready and Ed went to pick it up.

this represents a lot of saddle pads.....

Ed told me the cost and then shrugged and said 'well it's not like it was optional. She needs it. And I am fortunate, because our vet's stock a 'generic' omeprazole in place of Ulcer Guard. Still it is not cheap. The bottle of Sucralfate is almost $200. The tubes are 4 weeks of treatment (combination of Omeprazole and Aloe Vera).

The plan is: 5 days of Sucralfate (2 doses a day not with meals) and one tube of ucler treatment at least 2 hours from the sucralfate. 

I looked at this and had reservations. You see when I first had Carmen deworming her was an adventure. She was very resistant. I now had her that she tolerated it but I looked at this and thought oh dear. I can see where 5 days of three tubes a day was likely not going to go over well. 

I filled up the syringe they gave with the 50 ccs of Sucralfate, grabbed a halter and an apple and headed out to the field to give her her dose before dinner. It's not that Carmen was bad, she wasn't. But there was a lot of head tossing. That, coupled with the fact that the syringe was too big for me to use one handed and that the liquid was very thin, resulted in both of us being flecked with the medication but I was reasonably sure that at least some had gotten in. Fortunately it has a light vanilla flavour (yes I tasted it, not compltely voluntarily). 

Irish watched this fascinated. I could see him thinking hey, I'm the one who usually gets the special treatment. What's going on here?! 

 The tube of Omerpazole was much easier and she took it without fuss. But I realized that I needed a better method. The vet was clear that she couldn't have it with her feed. Also, there's no way that she's taking it on an empty stomach because she's out grazing all day and has a slow feed hay net at night. Really, other then posibly in the morning, she does not have an empty stomach. And that is not recommended for horses with ulcers anyway. 

Realizing that it tastes kind of sweet in the morning I tried putting in her dish to see if she would slurp it up. She stuck her nose in it and then looked at me with a milky mustache and a quizzical expression. So I dumped her fat and fibre pellets on top and she ate it all. 

That morning I did some more thinking. I realized that I had some hay nuggets that I've been giving them at night (in place of the beet pulp). I've been thinking of transitioning Carmen over to those exclusively but haven't made up my mind. They can be fed as a hay replacement or in addition to hay. They are balanced with vitamins and minerals so you don't have to worry. So that morning I soaked a few nuggets and in the afternoon (about an hour before dinner) I added in the liquid medication and stirred it. I took it out to Carmen and she gobbled it down (don't worry I fed Irish an apple while she ate. He's even more confused then ever now).  My thinking was that if it's okay for her to have it and eat hay, then it should be okay to have it with hay. Feel free to pile on and tell me I'm wrong but I think my logic is sound. And it's not interfering with her taking the Omeprazole treatment

We're on day 3 and I can see a real change in Carmen.  It could be a placebo effect but this is what I see:

• she's not tearing into her food like before. She used to 'attack' her hay net and feed quite aggressively. You could hear the hay hoop rattle as she pulled on it. Now she nibbles without the franticness. Same with her morning and evening rations. 
• She's not as uptight and tense. Far more relaxed. 
• she comes up to me in the field and when I'm walking the dogs rather than ignore me. 

She's just softer overall. Now I don't think that she will become a Magical Zen Unicorn. 

you can find anything with google!

But seeing her look content and relaxed is lovely. Here's a shot that warmed my heart:

Let me tell you what the big deal is about this photo. Carmen is in a section of the field that she has refused to go into for the last 3 years. She's surrounded on 3 sides by brush and it's blowing. Can you see Irish looking into the next field? That's because there's a giant doe there also eating. Carmen looked at it, shrugged and went back to eating. The dogs are running in and out of the bushes as we walk and she gives zero fucks. She has ventured into this part of the field before but she also zooms away when we come walking by and I've never seen her that far in. 

I have not ridden her. Even if I wasn't sick I wanted to give things a chance to settle. When I do start back it will be light and easy and I will monitor.