Half-Truths and Other Dangers

"It's always the rider's fault"

"That horse can't be trusted"

"emotions have no place in the saddle"

"just relax and your horse will be fine"

"he doesn't like dressage'

Full Warning: this post is likely going to get a little rambly. 

I have recently discovered podcasts.

I know, I know- I'm old. To be honest I didn't realize that there were horse-themed podcasts out there. Now that I've discovered them a whole new world of learning has opened up. I started with Nikki Porter's Podcast "Take the Reins".  I knew Nikki from the Ultimate Trail clinics. She is branching out into other areas and it's so cool. From these I am finding others. What has been interesting is that a lot of trainers that I admire (Warwick Schiller, Nikki Porter, Johanna Batista, Karen Pyra) talk a lot about the internal state of the person and how it interacts with their horse.

To a certain extent I've always understood this but only on a basic shallow level. As I delve deeper into my riding and being a partner for Carmen I am finding that this is real key for both of us.

oops I've bored the dogs to sleep. Good job on the Farm Security guys! 

Which brings me to the half-truths I am talking about. I think that there is a tendency to reduce things to a very simple, black and white level. 

We blame the rider or the horse. 

And often the truth is much more nuanced than that. We've all seen wonderful horses seem to fall backwards in behaviour with new owners. Or someone else rides our horse and the angels sing. To figure out what is going on we fall to blaming the rider, or that the horse was drugged. 

Carmen: why would you blame me? I'm so innocent

We think that the answer is more: 

-more skills

-more training

-different tack/equipment

And that is not wrong. Which is why it can be dangerous. 

Because a horse and rider is a relationship. Insecurities in a horse can feed the insecurities in a rider and vice versa.  There is this really interesting video of Warwick's. If you don't want to watch it here's a brief summary: In it there's a very anxious horse who is quite keyed up in a new arena. Warwick take the lead rope and does almost nothing. Yet the horse immediately goes 'phew' and relaxes. 

This is when despair can set in because it looks like magic. And we know in our souls that we are not magical. What I do admire about Warwick (and others) is that they are clear to point out that it is not magic. And most point to the work they've done outside of the ring on themselves. 

But that a rider may need more skills (either in the saddle or out of it) or that a horse may need more training with a person with more experience is also not wrong. Your bit/saddle etc may not be comfortable for the horse. 

Irish: You know you really are good at complicating things

Okay, okay Irish. Let me try to simplify it. 

Think of us and our horses as a teeter totter. 

To quote Karen 'it's about the balance'.  Working on one part of the teeter totter won't fix the balance. We need to look at what is causing the imbalance and figure out how to adjust ourselves and the horse. 

What really helped me to think about things this way have been related to my riding lately. I've actually managed to ride more times this January than I have in the past few years. Most of these rides can only be at a walk and, occasionally, some trot. Past me wouldn't have dreamed about taking Carmen out and just walking. I would have had the belief that things would go wrong pretty quickly. But we're not in that place anymore. When I have been riding I've been really thinking about my seat and hands and working on eliminating any tension.  At an easy walk it's easier to locate my tense spots. 

The other day Julia came out and we took the horses up to the ring to ride. I didn't lunge but I did do some light groundwork before swinging a leg over. Carmen expressed some worry about some areas in the ring but I refused to grab the reins (although I did shorten them a few times), made sure my legs/seat were relaxed and carried on. It was going pretty good. We picked up a slow trot and as we we were going around she spooked and spun away from 'Troll corner'. I turned the spin into a circle, walked her to the corner where I dropped the reins and released all pressure (although I did hold my grab strap). 

Carmen stood there for maybe a minute before going 'nope' and turning away to leave. I kept myself soft with a 'no big deal' vibe and asked her to pick up our slow trot again. When we came back to the corner we stopped and I dropped the reins. This time I focussed in on my breathing- making it long and slow (like in yoga). Carmen began to sync her breathing and body tension to mine and then relaxed. We stayed there for a bit, then I picked up the reins and we went back to work. When we came back to this area she dropped to a walk, marched into the corner and stopped. 'this is where we breathe' While this is not what I had planned I went with it. Getting after her for doing what I had asked before would have created confusion.  Our ride carried on and we finished on a good note. 

relaxed after the ride

The big success of the ride was troll corner. I've done similar things to this before and not really had success. What I think helped this time was that I made sure that I was totally relaxed and breathing rather than wait expectantly for her to bolt. Or I've been returning to work with a punitive mind set (okay, if you want to work we work). I've been working on both sides of our equation- teaching her that dropping the reins means she's to chill out and on my own body awareness and beliefs- in myself and in Carmen.  I've been doing a lot of thinking of why Carmen and I do so well on the trail or when I'm wearing a flamenco dress? 

can we see these costumes too many times? I think not! 

I think it's because those are times when I am feeling pure joy. I am having fun and that translates into my posture, breathing and attitude. Carmen is of course affected by this.

Have we conquered troll corner? Probably not. This worked this time because that is what she needed. We'll see about next time.  

In the meantime I'm enjoying listening to the podcasts and thinking about myself. 

Carmen and I may never get to the point where we are in sync enough to do great in the show ring. But you know what? She has taught me so much about myself and forced me to be better- both in skills and in myself. And that feels like a better outcome to me.

Retrospective: A Decade in Horses

This blog hop comes courtesy of Might As Well Event. The idea is to use on picture for every year of 2010-2019 to show your journey with horses. I've enjoyed reading everyone else's posts on this so I decided to give it a go. Even though it's really hard to A) settle on one photo and B) find photos/remember stuff from 10 years ago!

FYI, I might just break the rule of '1 photo'

2010
It felt like a big year to me. My son graduated high school and we bought the property that we now live in. At that point we hadn't moved- we spent the year renovating.

Meanwhile, I had Irish  and he was 10 at the time. We were showing but not a lot. He was a really solid horse by this point. I could hack him out and take him places. He might have been tense but he always tried to be a good boy.

Irish not sure what the fuss about with the ribbons. 

2011

We sold our house and moved into our farm and began building the barn. It was a the fulfillment of a lifelong dream to bring Irish home.

2012

Steele came to live with us. I started the blog to chronicle the adventures of raising a charming, intelligent and mischievous yearling. 

still one of my favourite photos

It was also the year I took Irish to his final show followed by a clinic with the judge who made me cry. She was highly critical of Irish's way of going and was really nasty about how she indicated that it was my fault that he had a lateral canter (despite me saying that he'd never had it before) and flatly refused to help me. I am still quite pissed about this to be honest. However, later that year Irish was diagnosed with neurological issues.

2013

I was spending my days taking care of the horses and working out the routines. Irish was getting ridden lightly and Steele was learning about being a grown up.

Steele not sure that this is in his job description but willing to try 

2014

This year was an epic one with the horses. 

Steele was fitted with a saddle and then backed. 

both of us so intent on the learning

 I spent the summer riding him and then took him to a show to hang out and then did the clinic with the judge. The judge was amazing, Steele was awesome and things were coming together.

Then in December my world crashed with the horrible, traumatic and fucking should-never-have-happened death of Steele.

2015

In the beginning I was still reeling from the death of Steele. To be honest, it has taken years to come to terms with it. At this point I was having trouble sleeping, everything seemed pretty gray and I was a complete mess.

I knew I needed to do something to help myself and Irish. Which led to a road trip with Karen and the purchase of Carmen. It was an epic winter and we had so much snow that it was a nightmare. Carmen came home to me in March and we still had like 4 feet of snow on the ground.

Carmen wondering what the hell is going on

It was a bit of a difficult year for Carmen and I. She was quite reactive to a lot of things and I was struggling to understand her and how to deal.

Irish had developed headshaking but I found he responded really well to Magnesium.

2016
I came very very close to selling Carmen. She was being really spooky and bolting all over the place. It was like there was no horse to talk to and it was frightening.  I ended up hiring a trainer to come and help me with her and that made a huge difference. While there might be some things I would do differently now, at the time he literally saved both of us and I would be profoundly grateful for that. He helped me to see a lot of holes that were in her training and we began to fill them.

I started taking clinics with Johanna and she was a godsend as well. I did a Centered Riding clinic which blew my mind and really started me thinking differently about my aids.

at the clnic with Johanna

You can ask me why I didn't sell her that year and move on and I honestly couldn't tell you. There were enough times that things were good that I could see how thing could be. I am also pretty stubborn so that probably played a role. To be honest, I think that whatever was broken in Carmen spoke to what was broken in me.


2017
This was the 'do all the things' year for Carmen and I. We did a few clinics, did a trail obstacle clinic that was amazing and has impacted my work with Carmen consistently since then. We went to four shows and we had scores that ranged from 4-8.

But it began to feel that our partnership was coming together and I was really happy with our progress.

2018

This was a mixed year for us. We started off with a great year at clinics and shows. In the fall the wheels began to come off again and I was in despair. I actually had to scratch a test while I was riding it because she became un-rideable. Again I thought about selling her. Then I decided to try ucler treatment and it was like a veil lifted. Carmen became transformed. Not that she was/is spook free but the mindless melt downs were diminished.

Again, I am blown away by how brave a horse that can be terrified by a goldfinch can be! We did another trail obstacle clinic in the summer and she was a rock star. I joined the TRT training website and it helped a ton with our groundwork and learning to deal with scary things.

more of this horse please

and less of this one

2019
To be honest, I spent a large part of this year waiting for the wheels to come off. While there were periodic issues things have been on a pretty steady trajectory (this will be a whole post/recap).

not for sale

In the past 10 years I have grown as a rider, caretaker and human being. I have come to terms with my dreams falling to ashes and starting over.

I wonder what the next 10 years will bring?

"Riding is Hard!"

I had a really fun weekend of fun and learning. Friday I trailered Carmen to the barn and settled her in.  I swear that she remembered the last time we were there, despite it being pretty close to exactly 2 years ago. 

she was fascinated by this orange cat who was completely
unfazed over being snuffled all over. 

That night all of the ones participating got together for the evening 'lecture'. We started by introducing ourselves and our goals for the clinic. When it was my turn I started on my laundry list of flaws and then realized how I sounded. I stopped myself and simply said 'riding is hard'. 

Everyone laughed and that became the motto for the weekend. I know I called it a lecture that night but it wasn't.  Karen had us share and practice things like balance and using our centre to signal. Karen shared a really interesting quadrant to help think about our rides:

The vertical line is energy and the horizontal one is mental state (note, this is not Karen's drawing but it is the same concept). I really liked it and it helped me to think about my rides on Carmen. 

We played with ropes to practice how subtle signals need to be and we even practiced 'riding' each other to see how little change in our posture is required to send a strong signal (no we didn't sit on each other, we just stood over top). 

My goal for the weekend was to really find some tool to target my tendency to lean forward. Karen helped me to feel my seat bones and to feel when I rock back. The goal is to let the horse move my seat bones but to not let them go back too far. I am sure that I'm not explaining it well but the idea is the if we let our seat bones go back too far it encourages the horse to let their legs go out behind and not step under. Karen used the phrase 'close the back door' which seemed to help. 

At first it was really hard to keep that way. Like really hard. Because riding is hard.  But I could feel Carmen respond. It was easier on day 2 but it still required a lot of mental focus. Karen had me stand next to her and she put her hand on my back between the shoulder blades and had me resist her pushing me forward. This helped me to feel where I need to be:

It really helped. When I lost it Karen would remind to feel her hand. 

look at that uphill canter and erect rider! 

On day one we even tried a little baby half-pass:

One of the tools is focusing on the 'X' that is in our back (you can find it by drawing an imaginary line from your shoulders to the opposite hip. The idea is not to use muscle tension (which was what I thought at first) but to pulse the energy down.  Again this really helped.

sitting up, carmen is forward and in the bridle but
I am not pulling. 

I found that I had to keep cycling through my body: core, loose pelvis, back, shoulders. 

It was such a great learning experience. At no time did Karen get frustrated with me or lose her sense of humour. I feel that I got some tools to help me in my rides.  

I plan to keep practicing. 

So I can target the next thing. 

Because, (say it with me): riding is hard. 

But (like I said at the end of the clinic), it is also so much fun. 

Which is why we do it. Because, otherwise we would just be masochists. 

And that can't be true. Right? 

So Many Flaws, So Little Time

As riders we are all familiar with this question from non-riders: "Why are you still taking lessons? Don't you already know how to ride?"

My long answer, about how continuous improvement takes outside eyes and if you want to get better you need a coach etc, makes their eyes glaze over and quickly change the subject. My short one is also true: 'Riding is hard'

While there was a lot to truly like from the show, there's a lot that drives me crazy about my riding.

I love this photo- she uphill and soft but
what the hell am I doing with my left hand?
(PC Amy Sangster) 

My biggest thing right now is my tendency to lean forward as soon as things get tense. I know why- it's my defensive posture. But honestly, it has to go because now I think I'm sitting up when I'm actually not. Which is why we need a person on the ground because our bodies lie to us. 

So when Shanea offered a lesson on Wednesday at 12:30 when there was a heat warning I said 'sure' (although faintly). 

I told her that I really wanted to work on this sitting forward. Carmen obliged by being a bit of dick about the far corner. (this is also really bugging me because it's only on the right rein):

I don't know where she got the energy to be so testing. With the humidex it was 39 degrees (102 Fahrenheit). Which for Nova Scotia is blistering. (The bucket you see there was filled with water so Shanea could periodically sponge Carmen down). 

I don't help this whole issue by leaning forward so the lesson was on me sitting up and using my back to not let Carmen pull me forward. 

here she is using that strong neck of her's to pull me then my
lizard brain says 'lean forward so we don't die!'

It's not Carmen's fault I do this- it's always been a flaw of mine. But her behaviour doesn't help me get rid of it. So I need to take charge. 

so much better but I could be back even more

Honestly, when I'm sitting up it feels like I'm leaning way back. So clearly I need to work on this.

Fortunately, I'm off to a clinic this weekend with Karen on balance in riding (she's a level 2 CR instructor).  I'm hoping that I can get some ways to remind myself when I'm riding alone.  It's a small clinic in a lovely setting. I'm staying with Paula so it will be another fun weekend with horse friends. 

I'm sure that Carmen is excited. LOL, I expect that she's not a fan of my vacation. 

Carmen's favourite way to vacation

Transformations: Clinic Recap Day 3

Saturday evening we all went out to dinner. I was so very tired that I am surprised that I didn't fall asleep into my plate. It's not that I had worked super hard physically, it was more that my brain and body were tired.

After a solid sleep I was ready to tackle Sunday. It was rainy and cold (again. sigh. when will this end?) and I had the first ride of the day at 8:30. Before I got ready I took Carmen out to the arena to free lunge and to let her just move around. She was super mellow about it all.

Cute story: at one end of the ring is divided into 3 sections: a space for people to watch and two 'stalls' that hold all kinds of equipment. It is, objectively, a spooky area so I on Friday I worked with Carmen (in our groundwork) that this was were all pressure came off and she could relax. As I was asking her trot around the ring she made a beeline for this area and then stopped, looking at me: see, this is where we have breaks. It was adorable how pleased with herself she looked.

I saw some large balls in one of the stalls and I took it out to play. She was curious and nudged it around a bit but really was not worried.

is this a large apple?

nope. Not an apple

I put it away and left her free to wander around and I went over to the corner to chat with Julia and Dominique (her sister). Carmen came right over and stood with us. I will hang out with you guys. This warmed my heart on so many levels. I expected her to go and roll or to go over to the gate to look at the grass (like she did on Friday). Instead she chose to be with me (*heart swells two sizes*).

I then tacked her up and started warming her up before Johanna came. Her walk was not rushed but she felt a little stiff. When I asked for a trot she was a bit uncomfortable. I realized that she was in heat - not surprising since there are two stallions at this facility. I just let her trot around nice and relaxed so she could warm up.

When Johanna came she asked (as always) what I wanted to work on. I said that I wanted to keep working on the soft seat and hands but add in transitions so that I am supporting her properly through them. Carmen can get a bit stuck in her downwards where all her energy seems to go into the ground rather then carry forward into the lower gait.

Here's a short video of our starting out. You can see the stall area I was speaking about. You can also see her ask me a question about the jacket on the mounting block and her responding when I tell her it's okay (this is important for later).

One of the many 'aha' moments for me was on day 1 when Johanna explained that you can use the outside seat bone to help the horse turn on the circle. As the outside hind comes under you move it ever so slightly towards the inside ear in time with the horse. And it really works (also helps me to stop using the inside rein to turn). You can also hear me ask a question the role of the seat bone during shoulder in. I probably should have known the answer but I wanted to be sure. :)

As we began to trot and work, the jacket on the mounting block became an issue. I tried to help her relax about it but, in hindsight, I put pressure on to go by and I should have backed off. In any event, despite the fact that I could get her to go up to it and sniff it, trotting by it was far too big an ask. I know that when she is in heat she is far more aware and reactive to things in her environment. I am actually impressed that, while it was an issue, it wasn't a huge issue. Johanna decided to take the jacket away. I protested a bit (because I'm stubborn) but she explained that we would be spending our time on the jacket and not on what she wanted me to learn. Which was valid.

practicing our halts

We then moved up to the far part of the ring and I circled her many times in trot but she was getting more revved up and less listening.

Here you can see her resistance to bend and forward and could I just please piss off.

But I didn't piss off, I persisted. Finally, I started to drop into walk, got the bend and the bend and softness and then went back to trot. A few times like this and she settled into work again.

While it was not as good as the day before it was still really good on a lot of levels. I was able to get Carmen back without a huge battle. Once we settled things down she was trying to listen.

At the end of the lesson I spoke to Johanna about what I need to remember when I get home:

• soft eyes
• following hands
• my pelvis needs to be relaxed in order to be effective
• remember to loosen my hips.
• bringing her back down to establish what I want
• when I tighten I straighten my leg
• Now that Carmen has self-confidence and can be calm it's time to ask more of her. 

When I brought Carmen back to the aisle to untack her she immediately squatted and started to pee. Which she's never done. I quickly put her in the stall and she no longer peed. So either it was heat related or she really had to pee during our ride. Since itwas right outside the stallion's stall I'm thinking that was heat related. Anyway I informed her that no one was having sex this weekend. 

I have to say that I was absolutely thrilled with our clinic this weekend. Here are the highlights for me: 

• there was only some teeny spooking at the jacket, otherwise she was fine
• overall her manner was calm and relaxed
• it felt that we were truly communicating with each other. 
• she has grown in her self-confidence and it really showed. 
• we can fun together. I truly believe that both of us enjoyed the time together. 

She is so very pretty

Transformations: Clinic Recap Day 2

I know it might make more sense to put these all together, but honestly each day was so very different that I'm separating them.

Friday night we had an amazing dinner, thanks to Karen supreme husband picking power: grilled steak, potatoes, veggies and salad. There was even a choice of desserts! I slept the sleep of one who had done a lot of exercise and then gorged herself.

In the morning I did chores and turned both horses out to enjoy the sunshine. Finally, we had a glorious sunny day that was NOT rainy or cold (unlike Friday or Sunday or any other frigging day this spring). I loved that I could turn them out to relax and move around. It makes life better for them and easier for me.

Carmen is clearly basking. Irish was until he saw me watching. 

Karen was having a lunge lesson her mare with the goal of feeling the hind leg in the reins. Partway through the lesson she found that she could totally feel the hind leg in her arms even though she was not holding reins.

There was much nerdy dressage excitement. And I said I WANT TO FEEL THAT! LET ME TRY! Because I am 12, apparently and had no sense that this was not my lesson.

However, Karen was kind enough to let me get on when she was done. It was so cool to let go of the steering need and just focus on what was happening with my seat.

My ride on Carmen was at 3:00 and ended up being more like 3:15. That's because the clinic is very low key and we all had no other plans so things could be flexible.

As soon as I got on I could feel that Carmen was relaxed and easy. The rushing of the day before was much less. Even though Irish was screaming his head off in his stall. Karen offered to hold him for me outside the ring and I said 'thanks but no. She's fine with it'. And she was. Also, Irish is 19 and used to this happening to him (#problemchild). And she was fine. She clearly gave zero cares about Irish and his existential angst.

screen shot of a video. Love her
expression here. 

The goal for this lesson was for me to have soft and following hands (probably my goal until I die). When I was on Karen's mare Johanna took the reins and I was to follow her moving them- not do it on my own but let my arms swing free with the movement. Honestly, this is so hard to not hold or to move my arms rather than let Carmen move them (control issues I am sure). I need to have my elbows a bit in front of the vertical.

The cool thing about riding with Johanna is that you can decide the figures and directions. If she has something specific she wants you to do she will tell you. Otherwise if you want to transition or circle or change directions she is fine with it. She might ask why you did something or how did it feel. That took some time to get used to but now I just do it. Here I am practicing the softness with a leg yield. And it was so easy. Not perfect, but very flow-y.

And also breathe deeply, have soft eyes, soft joints and keep my legs under me. You know- juggling. I would focus on one and forget the others.

And the lesson was amazing. Carmen was the softest she has ever been. Ever. About half-way through I could feel her back come up underneath of me. All transitions simply required a breath. Breathe in and then release and she would trot. Breathe in and hold for a sec and she would walk.

I was having so much fun up there. It's not like everything was easy- it wasn't. And I would screw up my balance or pinch with my knees and it would fall apart. But Carmen stayed with me and listened to me every step of the way. The communication was fluid and clean. I would apologize and she would say 'fine, let's go again'.

Mistakes were because of trying to do not trying to avoid. And the difference this makes in training is transformational.

I didn't want to get off. But then I turned down the long side, shifted my hips oh so slightly and she went into the most soft and perfect shoulder in all the way down the long side. I halted, looked at Johanna and said I think we need to stop here. 
Okay then  she said. And I hopped off, with a few tears in my eyes. I have been dreaming of this level of communication for a long long long time. And to have it on this day, with my friends, made it magical. I could have kept going and she would have stayed with me. But it felt like we both had made such strides that ending it when we did was perfect.

 I don't even know how long I rode. And it doesn't matter. Because it was the perfect amount of time.

another screenshot. I love everything about this photo

Transformations: Clinic Recap Day 1

Oh my god. I had the best weekend. It was fun, amazing and full of learning (and soooo much food).

Let me go back. This weekend Carmen, Irish, Julia and I went to a Johanna Beattie Batista clinic. I have done at least one every year and Carmen and I always make gains. This time Julia wanted to come. She could only ride on Sunday but came out to audit on Saturday.

Friday we hit the road around 9:30. Other than running into road construction it was an uneventful journey. Carmen came off the trailer like a pro. Irish was much more 'up' about the whole thing. I settled them in their stalls for a bit while I unpacked and then I put them out in a paddock to stretch their legs.

Carmen was all 'oh, okay. it's not bad but it needs more grass'
Irish was OH MY GOD, WHERE ARE WE? WHAT'S GOING ON? Do we live here now? Who's that over there? 

I had packed my training 'toys' (flag, plastic bag and clappers) with me. Before our ride I brought her into the arena and we worked through our patterns. She was awesome- totally unconcerned about the arena or Irish screaming his head off outside (even though there were other horses. I thought about brining him in but figured he would be worse in a stall).

I tacked her up and began to warm up waiting for Johanna. Honestly, by now it's all a blur. Carmen was relaxed, mostly, but not completely because she was walking very fast and it was hard to rate her.

Truthfully, I am used to balking Carmen and spooking Carmen. Speedy Carmen was a new kettle of fish. So much of the lesson was about helping Carmen to go slow without pulling on the reins. We started off with a lot of bending getting her to do shoulder in. The idea is to connect her back to front.  You can see int he video that, while she is tight, she is also trying really hard to pay attention to me. Rather than it being 'go away!' she was more like this is really hard, are you sure? Okay, I'll try. 

And it slowly paid off. Johanna is a Level 2 Centered Riding Instructor and working on her Level 3. She stopped me at one point and did an adjustment to my hip and bam! my legs were right where they were supposed to be.

It was wonderful to be able to work on loose joints and a following seat.

a blurry screen shot but I love the moment it captured

Near the end we cantered and it was so uphill and, well, fun.

I need to get my hand more in front but still....

One thing that Johanna helped me to see was that I didn''t need to take any 'sass' from Carmen. She was periodically yanking on the rein. I thought it was my fault but it turns out that she was just taking advantage. Once I gave myself permission to correct her for things, everything became much better.

As we worked she became softer and softer. Contrast this shoulder in to the one earlier in  the ride:

We found a spot to end it and I was so happy. Not once did she spook. A couple times she got a little tense and worried, but responded right away to me asking her to soften. At the end of the ride I ask Johanna is she saw improvement from last year.
Oh yes, 1000 percent!  she exclaimed and I was so happy. Carmen meanwhile was relaxed and ready to go relax.

Spring!

After the snow ride on Wednesday, the sun came out and things warmed up. By Thursday afternoon the snow was completely gone from my ring.

My friend Karen, who's also a Level 2 Centered Riding Instructor came out to visit on Friday. She offered to give me a short lesson and I immediately jumped on it. The day was glorious: sunny and warm. I took the blankets off the horses and begged them to not roll in any mud. They were non-committal but in the end stayed mud free.

Before she came I brought Carmen up into the ring to do some of our work with the flags and stuff. The best way to describe her was 'sun drunk'. You know what I mean- when the sun first comes out and we just soak it up. She was so very mellow. I hopped on when Karen came. At first Carmen was a bit tight but so was I.

so very tight 

I share the above photo not for critiquing but to illustrate where we are starting. I do like that my rein is loose, so that even though her neck is retracted I'm encouraging her to step into the rein and lengthen her frame. My leg could be looser for sure.

The thing that I really hate love about Centered Riding is that it so very nitpicky  focussed on the little tiny adjustments to our seat that impact how the horse carries herself. Karen showed me how tight my leg joints were and, after doing some hands on to loosen me up,  had us walk a circle around her and asked me to use my seat bones to help her step under herself. She said that I should let Carmen move the bones forward but not backwards so that she doesn't trail her legs out behind.  Which translates to this:
seat bones? Oh, there they are. 
What are they doing? 
Okay, I guess they are moving. Now how do I restrict the back. 
*Carmen halts* Oops, too much
Oh, is that it? Maybe. Oh yeah, I can feel that. 
Shit, where'd it go?

The thing is, though, that as soon as I did it, Carmen stretched out her neck and stepped under.  We were all over the place in terms of pace and we worked on me using my core to rate her pace and not the reins.

better

We played with some shoulder in down the long side. Karen asked me to keep my elbows 'attached' to my hip (not holding but lined up) so that I wasn't pulling on the rein. I found that it really helped use my body correctly for the bend and kept her shoulder from popping out. When we went down the far side Carmen's attention was captured by the robins in the field and stopped to look. I let her look and then we walked off. That was the big spook of the ride. 

We then did a little trot work. The goal was to keep her slow and to let her move my hipbones and not sue my waist to absorb the shock. This is really hard for me. My hips have been so stiff for so long. It required a lot of getting it, losing it, going back to walk, get it back, pick up trot. Which was fine because I actually was able to feel it when it worked. As Carmen began to anticipate the trot transition I had to dial it back to just breathing to get the trot and it was so cool.

The subtlety of riding well is hard. 

Karen had me experiment with lightly lifting my pubic bone. When I did that I could feel her lighten in front. As we were trotting I could feel that the canter was right there so I lifted my front and lightly touched her and we lifted into the most lovely of canters. It was a great transition and I had to smile. 

my hands could be level but they are giving and I'm sitting up

We did a couple circles and then I asked her to come down and then back to walk. That's where we left it. 

In all the riding was about 30 minutes- which is perfect for us just getting back. I loved that the freaking out and defensiveness was not there. At least not after the first few minutes. 

Now we just need to get in shape. Also, you may notice that I'm wearing my new ensemble. It was so comfortable to ride in. I am happy with my purchase. 

The rest of the visit was fun too. We went out for dinner and I am not sure that we stopped talking. Karen stayed over and we were both in bed by 10. I slept really well and, based on how she looked this morning, so did Carmen. 

Yay for spring. 

On the Road Again

After my last post I've been thinking about things and also not going to worse case scenario in my head. It's her first heat of the season so it's no surprise that it's bad. She definitely is uncomfortable physically and I get that. I need to figure out how to help her deal. I think lunging her would help her to stretch out and warm up without me on her back.

In the meantime Carmen and I had a clinic this weekend. Johanna was back and I've worked with her every year since I got Carmen. Each time I get a mini-breakthrough. We left around 9:30 on friday. Ed watched me lead Carmen out and then her just head into the trailer. I think that I could point her at it from the barn and she would get on. Ed laughed and said 'what does she need you for?' 'Closing the doors' I said and we were off.

I pulled into Stacie's around 11:30 and no one was there. I sent some texts and found out my stall. However, I put Carmen into the large round pen to chill while I unloaded things and got her stall ready. She was perfectly calm and chill about the whole thing. Remember last year when I worried that she fretted when turned out? That seems to be gone:

totally chill mare

Last year of 'doing all the things' seems to be paying off. Karen and her lovely stallion Kalimo arrived about 15 minutes later. As soon as Carmen saw him she went into full flirt mode. Honestly, young love is tiring. 

For this clinic I had actually scheduled to do three lessons. Last year I would come the day before and get Carmen 'settled'. But this year I decided that it's time for us to up our game. We can now go places and do things right away. 

I free lunged Carmen in the ring first and she was quite settled about everything. When it was my turn I spoke with Johanna about my goals. In my head I had three:

1. figure out what I'm doing that's interfering with the right bend and get a plan to fix it. Centred Riding is great for sorting out those details. 

2. Work on getting Carmen to keep her attention on me even when she's convinced it should be elsewhere. 

3. See if Johanna had any ideas about dealing with the extra spice that comes with her heats. 

Johanna asked me to show me what happens with our bend at walk, trot and canter. Carmen's walk started off tight and fast. As per usual in a clinic situation I totally forgot how to ride and began to fuss too much with my aids. Also, as per usual, Carmen took exception to these aids (can't imagine why). 

After watching a bit Johanna stepped out into the ring to help us both calm the hell down. Our first task was to slow the walk. That turned out to be really hard. However, Johanna explained that she needed to slow in order to use her hind end. This is not new information for me- I know that Carmen can be fast and behind the leg. I struggle with how soon to ask her to slow down- I wonder if I can let her settle. However, I learned that I need to tell her from the beginning what I am expecting and be clear. Of course that makes total sense. 

no media of the ride so here's a photo of a cat I wanted to steal.
Her name was Buffy and I've always wanted a cat named Buffy!

Once I was able to get the walk slow I was then to use my seat bones to help her take longer steps behind. I could really feel how that worked. This is why I love these CR lessons- it's all about the fine details of the seat. 

We then went on to trot. At first Carmen's trot was terrible - not unusual for when she's in heat. I really think that it feels uncomfortable to her. Once again it was all about slowing her down. Essentially I needed to be clear in my intent, use my seat bones properly and not over think things (who me?).

Funnily enough, working this way I was able to actually sit her trot and not bounce all over the place.  I know that Iberian's are believed to be easy to sit but that's not completely true. Carmen has quite a bit of push in her stride that makes it difficult- especially if she's tight. 

In terms of the right bend it turns out that I keep my right side turned too far back on a circle so that my body is opposite to the turn I want. So that became a focus. Honestly it was hard to fix- I've been riding like that for so long that when I changed it felt all off-balance and wrong. 

I was really happy with our first lesson. I became aware of things and had a plan to address them. 

We were off to a good start.