After the show Carmen and I enjoyed a little down time. I left her totally alone for two days. When I started riding again I tried to keep it light and easy. And of course I have been reflecting on the show.
Not caring about ribbons, just whether there's hay
First of all, Carmen has become very good at traveling. She loads, unloads, looks around and settles in. I believe it's because I spent a lot of time with her when we first started. I wasn't sure if it was actually working or not but now I believe it definitely helped. I put my chair by her stall and on our first day she will check on me by nudging my head. She didn't fixate on the horses around her but didn't seem to care when they came or went.
She wasn't Suzi level chill though.
Carmen is understanding her job these days. Pigeons of doom, not withstanding. I am a better rider and, when I stay out of my head can do a competent job. Carmen will always be Carmen. And while I get frustrated when the hamster falls off the wheel,
Show dogs, wondering why everyone is focussed on the horses
I had a grand time with the other competitors. Everyone was happy to be back showing and so supportive of each other. I really enjoyed the time in between riding just hanging out.
Those are some general takeaways. Others are more specific:
half-halts are so key. Carmen will get tight and fall on her forehand but frequent half-halts will get her back.
I have to insist at times that she listens to my aids. I also have to give. It's all about the balance. Getting that accurate is not so easy, but we're getting there.
ride forward. In my concern about bolting I tend to hold far too much and not send her forward.
Overall the show on the weekend was a good test of where we are- what is solid, what needs more work. Which is great, because it is likely my only show this year (life plans).
Buckle up for a long post. I thought about breaking it into 2 but decided to subject you to the whole story.
Last weekend Carmen and I headed off to our first show since 2019. I was quite excited and felt really positive about it. We arrived Friday around lunch time. We had booked an hour in the warm up ring and Jane put her three students together so she could coach us and then prepare for her own show. It was interesting to share the ring. I was riding first, Tanya second and Nicole third. Carmen seemed pretty relaxed on arrival. Throughout the whole show horses were coming and going and she didn't care at all.
Carmen: oh, this again. I thought I was retired
Carmen and I had a great warm up round. We started off with me being all tight and tense and Carmen being just fine.
Me: oh my god, we're going to die
Carmen: settle down woman, I've got this.
Once I settled and got out of my head we had a great school. She didn't spook once or get resistant. Even when Nicole and Tanya left.
I felt really confident about the next day.
definitely packed enough snacks
Our ride times on Saturday were in the morning and about 25 minutes apart. It wasn't enough time to dismount and let her rest so I decided (with consultation to Jane) to do a 45 minute warm up, ride my first test, walk her out in the warm up ring, do a brief warm up and do my second test.
Our warm up went pretty well. Just one spook but once I got her in front of the leg she felt good. There was a bit of confusion when it was time to go in because the ride times had changed and they moved my time but hadn't actually told me. It just was one ride out but it was a bit confusing. while we waited I walked her up and down the alley between the show arena and warm up arena. In the past I wouldn't have dared but she was quite happy to do that.
My friend, Paula agreed to read my tests. I had them memorised but I like the back up. We walked around the ring until the judge rang the bell, then I put a huge smile on my face and trotted down centre line with the attitude of 'this is my magnificent horse'. I halted, saluted, trotted off and completely forgot what to do next. Thank god for the reader. Once I started my first trot across the diagonal it all came back to me.
Here's a video for you. I was thrilled with our ride. Is there a lot to improve? Yes. Was it a bit conservative? also yes. But she is relaxed and listening and we felt (and look I believe) like a team.
First Level Test 2
Our scores were a ranged from 5.5 to 7.5 (on our leg yield!) with most being 6.5-7. Our final score was 63 and the comments: capable horse and team. must show clear lengthening in trot and canter at this level. Totally fair, but given that we really didn't have a lengthen 3 months ago (or forward for that matter) I'll take it. I was excited to get a 7 on Riders position and seat. (Yay for lessons).
Of course I had no idea of my score before doing my next test. Which was fine. Our scores were a range of 5-7's. I was feeling the heat and excitement. This time I remembered my test but I had a brain glitch at my first halt-salute. I saluted with my right hand, thought it was my left, so saluted with my right and then laughed at myself.
First Level Test 3
Again, I was quite happy with this- I felt that I rode fairly well, stayed out of my head and kept her attention. Carmen was really trying too. Our score was 60.83 with another comment about the lengthens. But she also commented that Carmen was beautiful so clearly she has good eyes.
I was excited to learn that I had scored two first place ribbons.
Riding in the morning left me free to cheer on my friends in the afternoon. It was wonderful to be showing again and everyone was having a great time and supporting each other. One funny moment was when a rider entered and asked Paula to read. She didn't have a book and it was a 'oh shit' moment. I ran to the barn grabbed my book and ran back in time to give it to Paula just as the rider was leaving X. I didn't know I could run that fast.
Tanya, Nicole and Jane all had beautiful rides. They are very inspirational to watch and fun to drink with. What more could you want? That evening we ordered pizza and at on the show grounds laughing and talking and swapping stories. Paula loaned me her slinky to help keep Carmen clean. It worked a treat and, bonus, she looked like the green goblin!
Carmen: really?
I had a great sleep and was up early and ready to tackle day 2. Julia and her sister came to help out. It was lovely to have grooms.
show grooms for the Spanish queen
It was a warmer day and someone had opened the window in the warm up ring. You won't recall but, in the past, when that was open Carmen would lose her mind. Like, dangerously so and I had to insist that it be closed. This time I looked at it, rode Carmen towards the centre of the ring and then turned her to let her look at it. We gradually got closer and then she looked out and realised that it was just a window. After that we were able to work in the ring without her getting upset about the window. To be honest that felt like a huge win for us, even more than the show.
Carmen was a bit more tense but Jane helped us in the warm up and we felt great going in to ride our first test of the day. It went even better than on Saturday and our scores reflected that- they ranged from 5 to 8.
We were tired but our ride was not far off (I think 20 minutes this time). We went back to the warm up ring and I practiced our trot-halts because those were causing me trouble and we can honestly do that. Once I had 2 good ones we walked back out to do our last test. I was relaxed (also hot). I put a smile on my face as we trotted down the centre line.
So here's where we get to the 'thorn' part. You see a pigeon got into the show arena. Part way during my ride it became upset and began to flap around frantically while making loud distressed noises. I asked for our left lead canter to begin our counter canter move, as we crossed X, Carmen just 'noped' out. I got her stopped and turned around. The judge asked if it was the bird. At that point I hadn't actually heard it- I was very focussed on riding and didn't hear it at all. So I said it couldn't be. Not my finest hour but, in fairness, it's not unusual for Carmen to decide she'd had enough. I tried to regroup but it became clear that it wasn't going to happen.
Fortunately, I was the last rider before lunch so the show committee let me stay in for a few minutes to walk her up in that area. I was so happy that I could do that - I needed to give Carmen a good experience and not her last memory of the ring be one of being scared.
I dismounted, hosed her off and walked her to cool her off. As you can imagine I was fairly bummed. I had to do some deep thinking as to why I was upset. At first I thought it was because I was unable to complete the test and get a half-decent score. And, sure, that was part of it. But I realised that most of it was because people saw Carmen lose it and would remember not and not see her for all her beauty, sensitivity and quirky sense of humour. She is so much more than that.
Everyone was very supportive, which was nice but I honestly thought that's all that they were being- nice. Tanya keep telling me to watch the video. Not just assume it was all shit. I didn't do that until Monday, but when I did I saw what she was talking about. I saw a horse that had been really good all weekend and dealt with all the things but just couldn't deal with this last thing. Even after the blow up she really tried to listen to me and follow my aids.
The judge was incredibly sweet. She was very encouraging and said 'everything was going so well' and 'she's so beautiful and talented, you will get there'. After I went to thank her for her kindness. She was gracious and when I jokingly asked her if she wanted to buy a horse she said 'you take her home because it's clear how much you do love her.'
Here it is with the pigeon of doom. Turn up the sound to hear the sound.
In the end we had 3.5 amazing tests and came home with three red ribbons. She was well behaved and mature and we conquered a lot of dragons.
Next time maybe I'll strap a bb-gun inside my show coat......
Well, time really does fly when you are registered for the first show.
Especially when you haven't shown in 3 years.
Carmen: don't worry I got this
I had a moment of 'what the hell was I thinking' earlier this week.
But now I'm just trying to figure out what I need to pack.
Like how many snacks would be reasonable? Should I pack beer or buy it when I get there?
I've been trying to not fret too much or drill the tests.
Which of course means I am now worried that I haven't done enough.
It's too late for that now. And really, there's literally no point is worrying if I did too much or not enough, am I right?
My little slice of heaven
And, if I'm being completely honest, I feel that we are pretty solid in our work right now.
We have the potential to lay down some pretty solid tests.
As long as we can keep it together.
Okay, as long I can keep it together. I need to make sure I don't pick-pick-pick or get into a fight or back off too much.
I need to remember what I've been learning in my lessons and stay the course.
airborne (but in a good way)
So we'll get ready and I'll haul out on Friday. I'm excited to be back in the ring. I'm also excited to show with my friends and hang out with them. Together we will share in the triumphs and tribulations of horse showing. We will also probably share a couple drinks and probably ibuprofen.
Spoiler alert- this is another 'my horse is awesome' post. (#sorrynotsorry).
One thing I struggle with is reinforcing old patterns instead of staying in the moment. I am sure I am not alone. When Carmen is a bit tight and looky I can find myself tightening up and anticipating a bit reaction.
While that is totally understandable, it actually doesn't move us forward. Jane likes to tell me 'she's not that horse any more'. And she's right.
my new favourite photo. It might make it's way to my banner. Clearly Guinness takes his job as sidekick very seriously.
But every ride is helping me realise that Carmen is not the same as she was even last year. And realising it at a deeper level than just superficially. This week Julia's sun visor flew off her helmet and she managed to use her crop to move it out of the ring. The first time by Carmen gave a spook and a jolt. I put my leg on and used my outside rein and we carried on. By the third time by she was happy to just give it the hairy eyeball.
In our lesson Jane is able to throw harder and harder things at us and neither of us melts down. Even when it's hard. Here we are doing a 10 meter (ish) half circle to counter canter down the rail and then transition to trot. This was literally the first time we've ever tried this.
Another new one was to leg yield and pick up a canter when we got back to the rail.
Clearly there's a lot for me to work on with me. But I'm finding that we're becoming very tuned in to one another. And when we don't start that way I can get us there without feeling like I need to sacrifice a small goat at the alter of dramatic mares.
Remember our canter departs and how difficult they were? And how much flail we had with our right lead?
What is even better is that either one of us can make a mistake and just move on. I have to share this video of how I totally screwed up the walk-canter. I put my leg on too much and Carmen was not impressed. She started on the correct but I screwed it up so she switched to the wrong lead and then fixed it. You can hear me apologise. And then we just went back to working on it without a lot of drama.
I love how rhythmical we're getting. I love that I can saddle up and hop on without lunging for 20 minutes. I love that I can hack out on a long rein. I love that we can work towards things and end up better at the end of our rides.
I love that she's actually enjoying the work these days.
My rides are going so well that I feel that I'm in a permanent state of happiness. It would feel like magic, except that it isn't. It's the result of a lot of hard work.
if you ignore the hands things look good here
Riding Carmen is so much more fun. Not that she's not challenging at times. She totally is. But I feel more confident and my riding is better able to deal with the shenanigans. As times I swear I can feel her contemplate doing a big spook/bolt and then think 'ah never mind, it's not worth it' . Which is hilarious because, while I may scold, I don't punish, I just take a deep breath and go back to what we were doing.
Carmen is trying so much to figure things out. Now she offers me things that I haven't asked for (well not intentionally). She's so smart I have to be careful. My original plan with lessons was to have them every other week (for budgetary reasons). But with the show date quickly approaching I decided to have weekly ones and then go back to the bi-weekly plan. The truth is that I love my lessons. They are hard and challenge me but it all feels manageable. If I ask for a break for myself or Carmen Jane is quick to agree.
Carmen also likes Jane. As evidenced by our lesson last week when we were doing a free walk across the diagonal and Carmen was 'oh, look there's Jane, let's go say hi and she can tell me how magnificent I am'. It's hard to not indulge this.
such a cute face
I have to share this video clip from one of our rides (not a lesson). In the past I would never show a vide of me mounting because Carmen was very cranky about it. She would pin her ears and bite at the air or a fence. Despite checking the saddle and uclers and all the things it never changed. I started to give her a treat after mounting to make her think more positively about it. That and the liberty work I think were the ticket. But look at this:
Her pawing is just a 'get on with it woman' while I try to get her a bit closer. I am ridiculously proud of this change.
In our last lesson we worked a lot on second level movements. It all felt so good. Jane said, more than once, second is level is right there. I can feel her shifting her weight back onto her haunches and she's much more stable in the bridle. It's getting easier to parse things apart. Like when she got heavy in the canter and I held the half-halt too long so she broke. In the past I might not have noticed that is was because I held her too much.
Carmen is, as always expressive but not closed off. Every single lesson ends up better than the one before. Of course, there's always more to work on. Canter departs are coming.
so not the best but at least it's uphill
but improved by the next stride
I've been working on it. Turns out that if your horse is on the outside rein and straight you can simply use the softest of cues and they pick up a soft canter (follow me for more training tips, lol).
It's hard to not push the schooling. I have the tendency to want to to buckle down and grind. And we all know what Carmen thinks of that. Today I was tacking her up and she didn't look happy so I took off her tack and we did a play session at liberty up in the ring. She quite enjoys it. Including leaving me and then coming back on her own. It's fun. It's supposed to be fun, otherwise, what's the point?
I am sorry for the absence. I have no big excuse, just the usual ones- busy, tired at end of the day, etc., you know. Adulting is hard. Rather than try to catch up in a bunch of posts and falling impossibly behind I 'll share some brief updates.
I love these May mornings
1. I won a bursary!
Our provincial equestrian association (NSEF) gives out Long Term Equestrian Development bursaries every year. It's nice to see that older AAs can qualify for things. This year I decided to apply. To apply you need to fill out a form, get a letter from a certified coach and write a short essay explaining how you would use the funds. I asked Jane if she would write a letter for me and she did. It was lovely to read and I am going to quote a section of Jane's letter:
"Teresa is always on a mission to learn and improve. Although her mare has challenged her ability and her spirit, Teresa tenaciously seeks the information and skills that will move them forward. Teresa’s ability to focus and replace old habits with the new skills are changing their partnership and performance.
It is my belief that Teresa will use the LTED bursary to evolve as a rider and a competitor. As evidenced in her blog - https://journeywithadancinghorse.blogspot.com- Teresa’s journey will inspire a myriad of riders facing similar challenges in this formidable sport."
I don't about being inspirational but I always strive to be honest.
I sent in my essay and form and then waited, not really expecting anything. So I was excited to receive the email that I was successful. Like I said, the amount is not a lot but everything helps. When I told Ed he said 'well that should pay for gas to go to the show!'. With the prices of gas he is not wrong.
Everyone here is working hard. At least 2 of us love it.
2. Steady Improvements
Carmen and I continue to make our steady improvements. She is much more balanced and rhythmical these days. I am getting better at feeling it sooner.
With the horse's transitioning to the grass paddocks I have noticed an increase in Carmen's reactivity. I attribute it to increased sugars in the grass this time of year. I've been trying to help her funnel that energy forward rather than sideways. It helps that I (finally) made the conncction between the grass and her energy. In the past we've always had an escalation of behaviour in the spring and I was never really sure why.
Most of the time it's not that bad, just more tension and a little jumpy. Sometimes she surprises me. Like below. We were schooling by ourselves and she was a bit tense at the far end but not too bad then....
If you have the volume on you will hear me scolding her a bit. I do not apologize for that. :) I am happy with how my seat stayed in the saddle.
We worked through that and then later had some lovely work:
3. I love my Pivo!
It has helped my riding so much. I can watch my entire lesson and gain insights. One thing I've noticed is that how it feels is often not how it looks. Sometimes she feels like a powder keg but in the video she looks fairly relaxed. Which is true? Can both be true?
However, it does help me see things. I use it often in my schooling rides too. I try to make sure I say something like 'good' so I can find that later and look at it to be sure (Karen's idea and it's brilliant). What was helpful for the spook video above is that I can see that she was not on the outside rein at all and was able to duck out pretty quickly (honestly, maybe she could do barrels?).
Sometimes it loses me and then sees Guinness and follows for a bit. I do wish that they would develop a blue tooth system for the remote so that it could track that. But most of the time it's fine as long as it is in the middle of the ring and I don't get too close.
Pivo decided to love on Guinness
4. I signed up for show.
I am both excited and nervous about it. It is in a couple weeks. I spoke with Jane and we agreed that I will do First Level again. While I am very bored with First, I feel that we've just started filling in some holes and that we're not ready for Second. So we'll see what happens. It will be fun to reconnect with my horse show people.
So we're plugging along and I am enjoying the spring weather. Even if it means that the blackflies are out. I want to finish with a quote from my essay:
"I am often
asked not only why I ride but why I (at my age) continue to pay for lessons.
After all, I should know how to ride by now. My answer is always the same: I
feel at home when I sit in the saddle. It’s where I belong. And I take lessons
because I am constantly striving to improve- for myself and for my horse. Our
horses did not volunteer for their role as our partners. I believe that it is
our job to ensure that we are the best rider we can be."
In my lessons with Jane she has continually reminded me of the importance of rhythm and how often Carmen loses it. In full disclosure, while I believed her, it often didn't feel like the most important thing happening in the moment. So when Carmen spooked and Jane told me she lost rhythm I felt that I needed to focus on dealing with spook, not the loss of rhythm. I think in my head I figured that the key thing was the relaxation.
like, I know this and yet I ignored it
I was sure that as other things fell into place it would just magically be there. I wasn't seeing it as a means to get those 'other things'. But at my last lesson, it finally bubbled up to me as, you know, maybe something I should focus on.
not thinking about rhythm here at all
So for the next two weeks I put establishing and keeping a rhythm in the forefront of my mind.
And, yeah, that was eye opening. I became truly aware of how often the tempo of her gaits shift. And because I've been accepting it for so long, it is not something that will change quickly. If you follow learning theory, I have moved from 'conscious incompetence' (you don't know what you don't know) to 'conscious incompetence' (I realize I'm not doing it). I do hate being incompetent. In the past this would have really frustrated me and lead to not very good rides as I tried to fix it right now.
I've been working on not always lunging before my ride. I will take my stuff up in case I need it. I haven't had to use it yet. But I also pay attention to how she is before we go up to the ring.
But now I know enough about learning theory to know that this is a very positive step and will lead me to improve. The problem hadn't changed, but now that I was becoming more aware, I could take steps towards competency.
***Carmen: sorry guys, she does like to nerd out. Honestly, does she have to think quite so much?***
It felt like I was making progress and that Carmen was responding to it. I had a lesson booked for early Sunday and I was curious to know if Jane would find an improvement. The weather was clear but cold enough that I had to dig out my winter riding togs. I shared with Jane what we had been doing for our homework and we went to work.
It was an awesome lesson. Carmen was right with me and we were able to get to work. Jane noted an improvement in my inside hand (yay). Carmen was not sure about forward so Jane had me ask and then release so that Carmen could carry herself. At first Carmen just kept dropping out of the gait as soon as I took my leg off. Jane told me that was because I was doing all the work and Carmen didn't have to be responsible.
Carmen: why must you be so mean?
Once we had that we had some really nice trot and canter work. Jane was getting after me for my leg slipping back, rather than staying at the girth. I finally had the realization that putting my leg on at the girth helped with our lengthens. So that was cool. Once I realized it our work became much more consistent and she actually lengthened her stride instead of going faster.
Better. I love her ears
I also love her ears here- listening so carefully
You may notice Jane has a JRT in a carrier on her body. It is the cutest thing- she just hangs out and enjoys herself. Guinness has zero idea of what to make of this.
Jane has been working on getting our transitions more balanced and uphill. Which means I need to change how I do them. Carmen has feelings about the change, which is totally fair. But in this lesson I could feel her start to understand. Our transitions are feeling much less flail-ly than in the past.
By keeping the rhythm steady our transitions improved and so did Carmen's relaxation. Here's some canter video- it is our right lead (which is our worst one and often felt very unbalanced). I love how she's able to keep a steady rhythm through it.
I am seeing on working on something as 'simple' as a steady tempo leads to her feeling better in her body and softer. And happier. It makes her less unbalanced and able to focus more on my requests. At the end of lesson I was pretty sweaty. It was hard work but all three of us were feeling pretty pleased with the results (four if you count Dottie the JRT).
It's almost like rhythm is foundational, or something.
