Another Country Heard From

Unless you've been hiding under a rock, you have heard the news bombshell about George Morris and his lifetime ban from horse sports for 'sexual misconduct involving a minor'. The reactions were swift and furious.

While I am sure that another opinion on the internet is likely useless I'm going to do it anyway.  If you want to see some really awesome and informative posts on this you can find them here and here (I am sure there are more).

The rhetoric I am hearing on FB and other platforms is horrible. The accusers are being vilified, as is Safe Sport. There is a collective throwing up of hands saying that it will no longer be safe for trainers/coaches etc.

Does this sound familiar?
Because it should. We heard the same bullshit when the #metoo movement started.

I am not going to weigh on George's innocence or guilt. I wasn't part o the investigation and know nothing about it. If you think that you know that it was flawed and had no part of it then you are reacting without knowing the facts.

pretty pony to break up rant (PC Cindy McCullough)

Don't tell me that these teenage victims of 'sexual misconduct' are equally to blame. Because you are wrong.

When I was 15/16 I used to meet a friend at the roller skate rink for an evening. Yes, I am that old. We styled and hair sprayed our hair almost to death, strapped on big ass roller skates and skated to disco music.

not me. But it could have been

One night we ran into her cousin who was there. I was immediately smitten and he was clearly attracted to me. The problem was he was in his 20s. I tried to hide my age but when he found out he let me know (kindly) that he could not date a teenager. I was crushed. Could he not see how mature I was?  He could totally have taken advantage of me, but he didn't. And you know what? That shouldn't be viewed as fucking noble on his part. It should be standard.  I was young. My body and hormones were sending me all sort of weird and interesting signals and I didn't have enough maturity to really understand it.

All I wanted to do growing up was ride horses. If that dream had been realized in my teenage years I could easily have been a victim of an adult trainer/coach. We admire these individuals and can even worship them. These young people are vulnerable and they need to be protected. It is not unusual for young people to spend a long time at a barn unsupervised by parents.  

Don't tell me 'it was a different time'. It is not okay for adult men and women to have sex with teenagers. It has never been okay. The only thing that is different is that people didn't want to hear about it and vilified the victim. I've even heard the comment that it was legal in some states to marry underage girls. Whatever. There are still countries that do this. It doesn't make it fucking right. And if we're going to start quoting the laws-back then homosexual sex was illegal in many states. And that law was wrong too. 

It would be nice if we all knew and operated on this principle. But they don't. So organizations need to have things in place to protect everyone. It's not a court of law and does not function like one. So stop whining about them not following the law. It a set of regulations on what is deemed inappropriate conduct and determines what the consequences are. 

If you disagree with how it's done then get involved. But don't say that we don't need it. Because we clearly do. 

Stop assuming you know an investigation was flawed when you know nothing. (pro tip: not seeing something happen does not mean that it didn't happen). 

Stop assuming that the victims are lying because who would honestly put themselves out there for this type of reaction? I will remind you of Bill Cosby, Kevin Spacey, Harvey Weinstein. And it is not just limited to those who are 'famous'. Locally there is a case of a teacher/coach abusing over 20 children in the 80's. 

Stop acting all wounded like you can't coach anymore. Because if you think that sexual behaviour or any type of abuse is part of the sport then you can just fucking leave. 

Because we don't need you. And I don't care how good you are. 

me on my high horse (PC Cindy McCullough)

"Riding is Hard!"

I had a really fun weekend of fun and learning. Friday I trailered Carmen to the barn and settled her in.  I swear that she remembered the last time we were there, despite it being pretty close to exactly 2 years ago. 

she was fascinated by this orange cat who was completely
unfazed over being snuffled all over. 

That night all of the ones participating got together for the evening 'lecture'. We started by introducing ourselves and our goals for the clinic. When it was my turn I started on my laundry list of flaws and then realized how I sounded. I stopped myself and simply said 'riding is hard'. 

Everyone laughed and that became the motto for the weekend. I know I called it a lecture that night but it wasn't.  Karen had us share and practice things like balance and using our centre to signal. Karen shared a really interesting quadrant to help think about our rides:

The vertical line is energy and the horizontal one is mental state (note, this is not Karen's drawing but it is the same concept). I really liked it and it helped me to think about my rides on Carmen. 

We played with ropes to practice how subtle signals need to be and we even practiced 'riding' each other to see how little change in our posture is required to send a strong signal (no we didn't sit on each other, we just stood over top). 

My goal for the weekend was to really find some tool to target my tendency to lean forward. Karen helped me to feel my seat bones and to feel when I rock back. The goal is to let the horse move my seat bones but to not let them go back too far. I am sure that I'm not explaining it well but the idea is the if we let our seat bones go back too far it encourages the horse to let their legs go out behind and not step under. Karen used the phrase 'close the back door' which seemed to help. 

At first it was really hard to keep that way. Like really hard. Because riding is hard.  But I could feel Carmen respond. It was easier on day 2 but it still required a lot of mental focus. Karen had me stand next to her and she put her hand on my back between the shoulder blades and had me resist her pushing me forward. This helped me to feel where I need to be:

It really helped. When I lost it Karen would remind to feel her hand. 

look at that uphill canter and erect rider! 

On day one we even tried a little baby half-pass:

One of the tools is focusing on the 'X' that is in our back (you can find it by drawing an imaginary line from your shoulders to the opposite hip. The idea is not to use muscle tension (which was what I thought at first) but to pulse the energy down.  Again this really helped.

sitting up, carmen is forward and in the bridle but
I am not pulling. 

I found that I had to keep cycling through my body: core, loose pelvis, back, shoulders. 

It was such a great learning experience. At no time did Karen get frustrated with me or lose her sense of humour. I feel that I got some tools to help me in my rides.  

I plan to keep practicing. 

So I can target the next thing. 

Because, (say it with me): riding is hard. 

But (like I said at the end of the clinic), it is also so much fun. 

Which is why we do it. Because, otherwise we would just be masochists. 

And that can't be true. Right? 

So Many Flaws, So Little Time

As riders we are all familiar with this question from non-riders: "Why are you still taking lessons? Don't you already know how to ride?"

My long answer, about how continuous improvement takes outside eyes and if you want to get better you need a coach etc, makes their eyes glaze over and quickly change the subject. My short one is also true: 'Riding is hard'

While there was a lot to truly like from the show, there's a lot that drives me crazy about my riding.

I love this photo- she uphill and soft but
what the hell am I doing with my left hand?
(PC Amy Sangster) 

My biggest thing right now is my tendency to lean forward as soon as things get tense. I know why- it's my defensive posture. But honestly, it has to go because now I think I'm sitting up when I'm actually not. Which is why we need a person on the ground because our bodies lie to us. 

So when Shanea offered a lesson on Wednesday at 12:30 when there was a heat warning I said 'sure' (although faintly). 

I told her that I really wanted to work on this sitting forward. Carmen obliged by being a bit of dick about the far corner. (this is also really bugging me because it's only on the right rein):

I don't know where she got the energy to be so testing. With the humidex it was 39 degrees (102 Fahrenheit). Which for Nova Scotia is blistering. (The bucket you see there was filled with water so Shanea could periodically sponge Carmen down). 

I don't help this whole issue by leaning forward so the lesson was on me sitting up and using my back to not let Carmen pull me forward. 

here she is using that strong neck of her's to pull me then my
lizard brain says 'lean forward so we don't die!'

It's not Carmen's fault I do this- it's always been a flaw of mine. But her behaviour doesn't help me get rid of it. So I need to take charge. 

so much better but I could be back even more

Honestly, when I'm sitting up it feels like I'm leaning way back. So clearly I need to work on this.

Fortunately, I'm off to a clinic this weekend with Karen on balance in riding (she's a level 2 CR instructor).  I'm hoping that I can get some ways to remind myself when I'm riding alone.  It's a small clinic in a lovely setting. I'm staying with Paula so it will be another fun weekend with horse friends. 

I'm sure that Carmen is excited. LOL, I expect that she's not a fan of my vacation. 

Carmen's favourite way to vacation

Best.Show.Ever

I guess that title needs to come with a spoiler alert. But honestly, it was a great show. First let me thank Cindy (for the photos) and Tanya/ Nicole/ Faye for the various videos. You guys are awesome.

For whatever reason, I didn't have the nervousness or sick feeling before the show this time. I felt really mellow and positive about all of it. The rides leading up to the show were a bit fraught but the one the day before was awesome. I guess this time I decided to let the one good ride set the tone rather than the bad ones.

Like I said, it was stinking hot by the time my rides were up so I opted for a 40 minute warm-up. Carmen was awesome in the warm up and had a ton of energy.

Shanea and I in the warm up ring. Her mare is stunning

To be honest, I should have given us more time because I wasn't quite ready when it was our turn. I'm still figuring out the best approach for her. But it didn't matter because it was time for us to go. When we walked in and by where the judge and scribe were sitting she gave a massive shy/spin when she saw people were there. I put my leg on and circled her back and by.

Carmen, pretty sure she's about to be eaten by trolls

 We went back and she gave a sigh and relaxed.

Okay, not gonna eat me but they should have carrots. 

 Then the bell rang and in we went.

god, I need to get a handle on this whole leaning forward thing! 

OMG, are we actually square?!

I don't have  video of this test but it felt pretty good. On our first lengthen I asked for a bit too much and she broke to canter. Totally my fault and we just regrouped and carried on. About half-way through I could feel Carmen go 'OH! now I know what we're doing!'  and she settled into the work beautifully. Our scores were a mix of 6, 6.5 and 7's for a final score of 65.429 with a comment of 'lovely horse! Further develop suppleness over topline'.  We placed 4th over all (there were more than  4 in the class I just don't remember how many!).

one of my favourite photos from the test. I love the hind leg
reach and the lightness of her front end. 

There was a bit of chaos on Saturday because the judge got so far ahead that the times were all moved up by a 30 minutes (if you wanted).  I asked if I could again in about 10 minutes and the judge agreed. I quickly hosed her legs and hopped back on. A little more warm up and she was ready and in we went. 

Other then her deciding that a leg yield from the rail to the centre line was a ridiculous ask and she'd never heard of such a thing, the test felt really really good. 

Here's a video of the whole thing: 

Well there's a lot to improve in this there is a lot that I love. And honestly, it's the most consistent we've ever been. We actually got 7's on our free walk and lengthen trots! 

it got better as we went

I rode this test really focussing on keeping her straight and on the aids.

Our scores were mostly 6.5-7 with one 5.5 on our first leg yield.  Our final score was 66.528 and a second place (but in full disclosure there were only two of us in the class) and a comment to work on leg yields. Sigh. We work on them all the time.

On Sunday I spent a lot of time in the morning hand walking her and trying to keep her cool and rested. That turned out to be a mistake because Carmen was a fire breathing dragon in the warm up! She  had decided that certain things were totally frightening and she was going to run away. In the past this would have really intimidated me. Not anymore. I sat up, took a hold and booted her forward. If she had energy to burn then by god, let's go. I found moments of softness and really rewarded those but I was taking no bullshit. Once again the warm up felt far too short. 

Ready or not here we come!

Then there was the debacle with the number (yesterday's post) but we regrouped. It felt like this test took a lot of active riding. I had a caller which was great because it allowed me to keep all my focus on Carmen where she needed it. 

canter depart? yes ma'am

settling down a bit

yay, she's actually stretching. 

Here is the test in all it's gory details:

A lot to take away from it. One is that Carmen's would really like to negotiate this whole 'acceptance of the bit' thing. But I was not letting her get all inverted and then take off on me. Also it felt a lot more like a wrestling match than it looked, which is good information. We got a 5.5 on our first halt (as soon as I let go of the contact she decided to move around) but otherwise we were a mix of 6.5-7s and few sixes for a final score of 65.714 and comment Very nice horse. Some nice moments. More suppleness over back. Lengthens need improvement.  Which could pretty much describe every ride we have.  We place 6th out of 9 or 10 riders. The spread on this test for the placings (it may have been true of the others too, I didn't really look) was about 3 percentage points. After this test I went back to the warm up ring and we schooled our halts. This is not a new idea, that halts are still and that she waits so I felt that I should let her know that it is also true here. 

I put Carmen back in her stall to have a pee and cool off for a short time and then got back on. The warm up was much shorter but I kept her in front of the leg and supple. And this test felt really really good. I was happy with how it all went. 

It felt like we really were working together. 

here we go, last test! it's do or die!
Psst - I prefer to not die

we ride into corners now

Cantering in balance

yay, square halt at the end

We got far more 7s in this test and a 6 on our stretch trot circle. Our final score was 66.111 with the comment lovely horse- work well together. Continue to develop supplies and bend.  We place second out of two again, but since Shanea was first I'm not gonna lose sleep over that. 

At the end of the show I went in to thank the judge for her kindness and comments. She smiled and said 'which horse were you riding?

'the grey andalusian in first level (there was a grey andalusian mare in second level too, she was stunning). 

The judge then warmed my heart by saying 'ooh, yeah. She's a lovely horse. 

Thank you. I think so too.

No, she's really lovely! 

Of course she is but it's nice that others see it too. 

Why was this the best show ever? Because we were the most consistent and it felt that we were working together the whole time. And when we weren't I was able to get her back. In the past, after that big spook at the judges booth she would have been fixated on it and it would have been a struggle. This time I was able to show her it was fine and she accepted that.  The scores were better than we've been getting and placings didn't even matter (although I'd be lying if I didn't say that one day I'd love to win one of the awards). It was also a lot of fun with so many supportive people. There may have been drama, but I didn't see it. What I saw was a bunch of people having fun and enjoying their horses. None of us are going to the olympics so if it's not fun, what's the point? 

Show Shenanigans: The Further Adventures of Teresa and Carmen

If you recall, in the last chapter blog post I said that Carmen and I were headed to a show. Spoiler alert: I had the most fun I've had at a show in a long time. And I will get in to the details. But for this post I wanted to share some things that happened outside of the show ring. 

I headed out late morning on Friday and met up with Tanya so we could travel together. That way is something happened to one of us we would have another trailer and some support. It was uneventful, other than the fact some drivers make very stupid decisions and seem to have no fucking clue that their little mazda won't fare well in a collision with a truck and trailer. 

When we got there I decided to join Tanya in the outside shedrow stalls. It was a good decision- the weather was hot all weekend and these stalls had lots of air movement and shade. 

1. This will do:

Carmen approved of her new digs and made herself right at home. 

Proof of her angelic nature

erhm, maybe not

2. Calm and confident

She was very comfortable in the ring walking around and our ride that evening was really really good. No shenanigans, just focus and forward. 

In sync

The next morning I took her for a walk too see the ring and the flowers. She insisted on sniffing each and every one. 

@C halt and smell the flowers

3. Don't fence me in:

I had rigged up a stall guard to allow for more air circulation. I thought I was being clever and thoughtful. However, when I went to refill her water I walked back down the row and saw a pretty grey butt that was not where I left it. It took me a minute to realize that was Carmen and she was out. I put down the bucket and headed slowly towards her when I saw that Shanea had her. It seems that Carmen leaned on the guard and popped out the screw bolt. She just wandered down by the warm up ring and started grazing. It took people a minute realize she was loose.   I tightened the bolt but she did it again later and then again so I gave up. I am a much slower learner than Carmen, apparently. 

3. It's not OCD, it's planning:

When it was time to ride I went to put on my 'show' boots only to find that both zippers were broken. I was upset because this was only the second show I had worn them at. Fortunately I had packed my schooling boots so I had to clean them up and use them. Clearly overpacking is a good thing. 

I contacted the company and they are replacing the boots for me

4. Just take it

Our ride times were in the afternoon and it was so very very hot. I begged asked the show committee if we could excuse jackets. Fortunately the judge listened to pleas of a menopausal woman and excused jackets. In spite of that, after my first ride I was HOT. Like really hot. I was walking Carmen back to the barn when I saw Maria holding out a small glass of liquid and without thinking I grabbed it and downed it. It was delicious wine and she was handing it to Teri. Fortunately, a fight did not break out and Teri went to get another glass while Maria refilled my glass. Sorry-not-sorry. 

5. Friend's look after each other:

Tanya was awesome and looked after Carmen every morning, giving her hay and water while her lazy servant made her way to the show grounds. Nicole offered to wash my show clothes and I am so grateful. So was everyone downwind of me, I'm sure. 

I could see a business opportunity here....

6. You've got my number: 

On Sunday, I was a bit hotter, a little more tired and more easily frazzled. I came in to walk around the ring when I realized that I didn't have my number. I yelled to Cindy to run and get it while I cantered back out and hoped like hell I wasn't going to get eliminated. Cindy came back with it and said now which side should it go on  and I said hysterically  JUST STICK IT ON!

I trotted back in and when I went by the trailer that the judge was in I heard this amused voice say 'all ready? Do you have your number? 

Yes please I said sheepishly and I heard her giggle as I walked down the long side. 

If I only had a brain....

I had it all along, I swear.....

7. Talking to myself

I don't really realize it but I tend to keep up a running conversation with Carmen when I ride. Especially in the warm up ring. I guess it can be amusing sometimes. I saw Maria's husband, Isaac, standing at the fence and laughing at us every time I went by. I said something about providing some comedy relief and he said that he wanted to stick a mike on me and record me when I ride. I don't know if anyone is ready for that. Sometimes I have been known to *cough* swear. 

8.  Regretting life choices:

Carmen was in full dragon mode on Sunday in our warm up and for our first test (more on that later). I simply rode her forward and let her expend some energy. During the ribbon ceremony she could barely keep her eyes open. 

so.very.tired.cannot.stay.awake

It was a great weekend, full of laughter and friendship and horses. I had a blast. I'm pretty sure that Carmen enjoyed it too, even though she is pointedly ignoring me out in her field today. 

Free Time

As of the end of the work day today, I am on vacation. As is typical with me I have packed it full of horse plans.

Carmen is not sure what she thinks of 'vacation'

This weekend, Carmen and I are headed to CNHP for our second show of the season. We were there last year and I was really pleased with how it went. This time I have booked a hotel instead of camping. Last year I got almost no sleep and I really don't function well without sleep.

not this time

My goals for the show are as follows:

• Keep Carmen straight and on the aids
• don't wait three strides to respond to her tension
• keep my seat engaged not tense
• have fun

the wild roses are taking over the hill by my ring.
The smell is heavenly. 

We also have a clinic the next weekend with Karen on Centered Riding Principles. It should be a lot of fun and full of learning. I am excited. 

In between I shall hang out at home and get some chores done. Including walking the dog and doing all sorts of things that are not work. This includes working on a special project that I am not yet ready to divulge. 

this is my Pussy Willow enjoying the great outdoors

these two <3

I do love summer in Nova Scotia. It is so beautiful here this time of year. I am going to enjoy every minute of my vacation.

Summer High

There's something in the air
Go ahead let down your hair
Cause right now we got no cares
Find your summer
Find your summer high
Can you feel it in the breeze
Yeah it's taking over me
Light it up like TNT
Find your summer
Find your summer high

~Chantelle Page~

A couple weekends ago I had planned to go to Stacie and Karen's to ride and hang out. Those plans ended up being cancelled so we could get the hay.

I was very happy to find out that both Stacie and Karen were willing to let us invade this weekend. I ended up leaving early because there were heat warnings for both days. The trailer ride was uneventful. Carmen unloaded, looked around and shrugged. I turned her into the large round pen while I got her room ready.

clearly at home

I normally would want to let her chill for a couple hours but the heat was rising so I started getting her ready in about 30 minutes. This was so good for us, I need to stop trying to be so careful. Certainly when I go to Coveside to hack out I don't hang out for long.

We rode in the outside ring. Given that Carmen has been a bit, ahem, dramatic lately I was a little concerned given that there is no fence around the ring. But she was really good. We were not brilliant but we stayed in the ring and didn't melt so I counted that a win.

wide open fields to the river. What could go wrong? 

Karen rode with me and after a short ride we rode down the field and trotted back up the hill. After that I put her in the cool barn and let her relax in her stall for the afternoon. The barn in built into the hill so it stays nice and cool compared to outside. There's also a huge fan that blows down the aisle and feels great. I actually took my shirt off and stood in the breeze. 

Stacie has a new puppy- a Great Pyranese so I played with him while Karen did some chores. 

so fluffy, so adorable. I wanted to steal him

how can you resist? you cannot. 

Karen, Stacie and I went to the nearest town where we sat out on the deck of a pub and had a delicious lunch. Followed by a trip to a tack store and then by a stop at Dairy Queen for ice cream. 

We came back to the barn and while Karen and Stacie went to war on an invasion of bindweed I rode Lucera. I've ridden her before and really like her. Her owner is battling cancer and so she's been laid off for about 2 years. She is just starting to feel better and would like to ride her again so Karen is working on getting her back into shape. 

When I first got the tack out Carmen looked offended that I would even think of riding another horse. Then when I got Lucera out, tacked her up and went out to the ring Carmen went between looking like 'I don't care *sniff*' to how DARE YOU. 

we are not amused

Lucera has the cutest ears

After all this horsing around, Jim (Karen's husband) had made a feast for all of us. 

It was amazing. 

After a day of ponies, friends and food I collapsed into bed  and barely moved all night. 

The next morning I had a lesson with Karen that was fantastic. She does such a good job of helping me feel what I need to to get Carmen to carry herself correctly. We actually had a honest-to-god lengthen trot just from my seat. It felt so good I laughed out loud. 

Karen rode Carmen after, just to feel her out. Carmen thought she was done and pulled some of her stunts, including the stop, spin, try to bolt maneuver. Karen was having none of it and I watched a battle of wills play out which was fascinating. I have more respect for my seat after seeing how fast Carmen can move. In the end Carmen was soft as butter. Also completely sopping. I hosed her off in the wash bay and threw her outside to chill while I cleaned out her stall and then helped Karen with her ride. It's helpful to have eyes on the ground and it was fun to do. 

After that I loaded Carmen up and headed home. The temperature was 34 and I was a bit worried about her in the trailer. However, she walked off a bit warm but not hot or sweaty. I do love my Exiss.  

It was such a fun weekend and just what I needed to refill my cup and keep me excited with the work.  Thanks guys!