Winter Wonderland

I didn't ride Carmen at all last week. Between weather, work, my medical tests and her teeth appointment it just wasn't happening. I had hoped to ride with Cynthia on Saturday but we had bitter cold and snow so we went Christmas shopping and had lunch out instead. After she left the weather markedly improved but I was home all alone and I thought that given the bolt last week I probably should have someone around. 

I took the dogs for a walk and I realized that the snow was powdery and perfect footing for riding. I sent a text to Ashley inviting her to come on Sunday to play. She was game and brought along Julia. The sun was shining and it was a lovely winter day except that it -5 celcius, with the wind the windchill was much colder. I thought that we might be crazy but it was still too good a chance to pass up. I put on some layers and we got the horses ready. 

Both of them were full of piss and vinegar energy and enthusiasm. Carmen was definitely tight but I put my whole attention on keeping her attention on me. 

AS we were riding Shanea came by to visit (not teach but I'm hoping that she can soon). She gave some good advice for us which was essentially inside bend and ride forward. I was struggling to not ride defensively given last week but I wasn't horrible. 

At some point at this will be a passage, right now it's really just prancing. 

 But she didn't bolt. Or even give a big spook. I could feel a real difference with the contact since getting her teeth done. I do think that this added to the issues I was having because today felt more like our normal excitement.

 I love riding in the first snow- the tracks are so fresh and the horses really pick up their feet.
Today was not about schooling anything- it was just about playing in the snow and enjoying the time.

Look at Irish having a ball. I need to do a post on some positive things about him that have been happening.

Shanea drew a heart in the snow at one point. 

 Despite the cold I was toasty and warm.

The footing under the snow was nice and solid. I didn't mean in my last post to indicate in anyway that my missing Steele meant that Carmen was not my heart horse. In many ways we really suit each other.

she has helped me reconstruct my heart. 

After riding we went for a little hack in the woods. The horses were up but really well behaved. After  Ash, Julia and I warmed our hands and bodies with some hot chocolate. 

It was a cold but magical day and just what Carmen and I  needed. I hope it was good for Ashley and Irish too. 

Rambling Thoughts

Sorry guys this is a rambling post, feel free to disregard. 

In light of my recent struggles with Carmen and some observations at dinner time I began to wonder if her teeth were bothering her. At 7 years she is at an age where her teeth change a lot. I called and left a message for my vet to book an appointment. It's always tricky with sensitive horses to know when it's 'just' behaviour and when it might have  a physical cause. 

I cannot believe that it's been 3 years

With the lesson's learned from last year I realized that would need to have a plan around today. So when I was given today as a date for a medical test I decided to accept it. My father passed away from colon cancer so every so many years I have to go through a colonoscopy. I don't mind the test as much as the prep (I HATE to be hungry). Then my vet returned my call and said he could come on Thursday around lunch time. By then I figured that the universe was arranging my day and I should go with it.

On Wednesday in the morning I dropped Guinness off at the vet's for her neutering and then Ed and I went and picked out our Christmas tree.  It was pouring rain the whole day and we wanted the tree to dry before we put it up.

sad, drugged puppy showing me how his ears don't fit in the fiendish contraption

Ed rearranged his whole week so he could be close by me yesterday and today. He never did anything overt or obvious but he was there. 

The test this morning went fine but after I had a reaction- I suddenly found myself feeling really nauseous and dizzy. The nurse came right over. My blood pressure dropped and they couldn't find a second number no matter how often they took it- it just showed as a '??'. My heart rate was 38. My normal blood pressure and heart rate is low but that was a bit much. After an I.V. I began to feel a lot better. I texted Ed to come and pick me up and to bring food. He asked what I wanted and I couldn't really think of anything so I asked for a cinnamon bun and fries-  I might not have been totally recovered by then. 

When the vet came I described some of the things I had noticed. I felt a bit like an idiot because it really was just a hunch.  But when he looked in he found points and a really nasty one on the very back molar. He said that it would be painful. So I'm wondering if that has been playing a role in her reactivity. We shall see. After he left I had a nap and then began to decorate the tree. 

Ed commented that I was doing very well today. And he is right. I felt far more in control of myself then last year. Obviously time helps one to heal. Another factor is a dream I had a few days ago. I often have lucid dreams and this one was particularly strong.

I was walking in the woods and met with Steele. I hopped onto him and rode him for a while through the woods. I do not know how long. After a a bit I dismounted and gave him a hug. He walked off into the forest and I woke up, feeling sad and comforted all at the same time. 

I find myself in a place where I can remember and feel both sad and happy at the same time. Maybe I'm growing up. Maybe. 

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Micromanagement

My day job is as a manager in Health care. I pride myself that I am not a micromanager. I believe that people know their jobs and often know the best way to get it done. In keeping with my Star Trek metaphors I am more of a Picard:

I tend to take that approach to many things, including riding. It's not like I am not involved or give direction but, rightly or wrongly, I don't naturally try to guide every single step. I think a horse in trot should be able to carry forward in trot without nagging from me. 

After the close encounter with the grouse my ride the next day was fabulous. Carmen was with me the whole time and I was very pleased with her. I kept the schooling short and sweet. 

Sunday was raw and cold. I was waffling about riding but decided that I would regret not riding so I put on some warm layers and got Carmen ready. In the ring she was a bit tight but really not noticeably different then every other day. After getting a relaxed walk I warmed up the trot and then asked her to pick up a canter. 

We were cantering through troll corner when suddenly she jumped sideways, then leaped forward and we were in full-on bolt. I could not get her to slow up. I did not say 'whoa' and I don't know why- in the moment it completely left my brain. Instead I got into a half-seat and steered her through a circle making it smaller and smaller until I could get her stopped. It felt like minutes but probably wasn't. 

I took a deep breath and forced my heart back into my chest. That was a job in itself- my heart had clearly determined to find a new home. One where the person realized that she was on the other side of middle age and had taken up more sedate hobbies. Like knitting or cat collecting. 

I took a deep breath and went back to work. With a decidedly shorter rein. I have no idea what startled her but suspect it was the grass rustling. I was not getting off. 

I put her back to work asking her to bend and listen. She did another bolt int he same location which I  expected and was ready. I pulled her into a one rein stop. Or I tried. We actually were cantering a 5 metre circle. I gave her enough rein to not fall over (and I hoped fervently that that wouldn't happen) but was not letting go. She was NOT carting me across the ring again. 

It started to spit rain and that turned to ice pellets. 

I didn't care. My ass was in the saddle and I was staying there. 

I essentially went into micro-manage mode where I was controlling where all of her body parts were. At times it was downright ugly. I still didn't care. There was nothing there to cause the spooking (well nothing that wasn't always there). We were schooling goddamn it. Which makes me sound angry and I wasn't . I was a bit flustered, definitely frustrated by not angry and my emotions were under control. 

More and more her ears were flicking back to listen to me. More and more as I put a leg on to ask her to bend or move over or leg yield or shoulder in she listened. When she stiffened and/or ignored the aid I made it stronger until she yielded. 

I was bit brought down by the ups and downs of our rides lately. I do know that Carmen is used to me backing off when she gets really agitated and I am trying to change that conversation. Sometimes that means I am engaging more in horse shouting then whispering. And if you want to lecture me about that come on over and I'll put you on her. So much of riding is feeling the moment and trying to give the horse what they need even if they don't know what that is. Parenting was very similar. 

I had been truly frightened by what happened. My first thought was that Carmen had never done that before. My second was that she had but I was usually off by the second leap. I stewed on it for a bit and sent a text to Karen (my life coach whether she wants to be or not): 

After reading that I felt better.  

But I really like straight lines. 

The Adventures of Teresa and Carmen: In Which we Meet a Grouse

There's a Grouse that lives in our woods. I know because I have startled it a few times walking the dogs. In keeping with Grouse behaviour is waits until we are just on top of it and then takes off in a loud flurry of flaps. It's quite alarming.

They are pretty

I have often wondered what would happen if/when Carmen and I encountered it.

this is pretty much how I pictured it going down

On Saturday at 12:15 I had the chance to find out.

But first let me back up a bit 

(cheap ploy to build dramatic tension but also to put in context). 

December has been warmer than usual and Thursday was beautiful. When I got hoe from work the sun was shining and it was lovely. I should note that by 'lovely' in Canada I mean about 10 degrees and no wind. If you are dressed properly it's perfect riding weather. I quickly tacked up Carmen and we headed to the ring. 

I had one of those wonderful rides where everything is smooth and easy. Carmen was relaxed and forward. She looked at a few things but nothing else. I am getting so impressed with our canter-it's so much straighter and our transitions up and down have improved so much. I put her away feeling really happy with our ride. 

Friday was also lovely. However, that morning there was a large machine coming down the road cutting the brush in the ditch. They were cutting just along the edge of the property (which is too bad because I have lost my privacy hedge). 

not actual machine but very close

The horses seemed to be okay with it so I decided to ride anyway. My farrier was coming that afternoon and I wanted to ride before he came. By the time I was on Carmen the machine was past our property and down the road.

Still, it must have unsettled her enough because she was completely different. She was spooky and bolty. I put on my big girl pants and rode through it all. There ware a couple times when she flatly refused to go into troll corner and I flatly refused to accept that. When she started to back up I gave her a smack and got her forward. It wasn't a battle the whole time. I was able to practice some walk-canter-walk transitions, shoulder-in/haunches-in etc. In the end we were practicing our lengthened trot across the diagonals into the corners. I could really feel her understand about lengthening her frame, not speeding her pace. I did a few free walks into the corners as well without any issue. 

So I decided to drop the gate and head out for a small walk in the woods. It would be our first in about a  month (hunting season). Carmen was impatient and fidgety at the gate but walked happily enough to the right and around the field. I was prepared to hop off if things got confrontational but she seemed happy enough to stride out. 

Just as we were coming along the woods and towards the path that goes into the trails the grouse flew up. 

Carmen threw up her head and leapt forward about 4 strides. She came right back, let out a big sigh and carried on. 

Yes.

I know. 

In the woods she was a bit uncertain going through a stream - we've had a lot of rain and the dry stream bed was running. I let her stop and consider the question. 

Carmen: I am not sure it's safe

Me: It's just water moving. It will be fine. 

Carmen: But we might get swept away. 

Me: It's only a couple inches deep. Trust me. 

And she did. I put my leg on softly and she stepped forward and in. While she didn't freak out she did walk briskly and breathed out when she stepped out. We did the trail and came out by the manure pile. We had to stop and consider the old trailer and shovels. Walking up the hill to the barn I asked her to lower her head and stretch out over her back and she did 

While I would have liked a less dramatic schooling session in the ring I was happy with how things all worked out. 

I'm pretty sure I heard you cutting up apple pieces. 

(if you want to see a fabulous drawing of a pheasant and horse meeting go hereEmily Cole's illustrations)

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Welcome Back

I was able to take Monday afternoon off from work. Cynthia's daughter, Ashley came out to ride Irish.  I could tell right away that Carmen was more of like her normal self. We had a nice ride. Not that she wasn't spooky in some areas but it wasn't anything to worry about.

I had left the poles up and I am really enjoying playing with them. I like how they give us something to think about. I'm learning to not try to micromanage her over the poles and let her figure it out on her own. She really was starting to figure out that sometimes she needed to contract or extend her stride length. I think she quite enjoyed the cantering over them. Or maybe that was me. Hard to tell but fun was had.

As we were riding, Ashley's friend, Julia showed up. She had brought a helmet and hung it on the jump standard outside of the ring. Carmen took one look at it and decided that it had materialized and was clearly up to no good and most likely dangerous.  She spooked into the middle of the ring and I dissolved into a puddle of giggles.
Julia looked at me and smiled.
Me: Oh Carmen. You are something else. 
Carmen:  I saved us. I do it all the time and you have no appreciation of it. 
Julia:  She looks so proud of herself
Me: Yup. Wanna buy a horse? Three dollars and she's yours. 
Carmen:  humph. 

We carried on riding and she was very good. Nice and forward, although I would have loved to be have her neck a little longer. At first she was trying to figure out why there was this person standing in the ring but not giving instructions.  She was clearly puzzled. After a bit I stopped and asked Julia if she wanted to hop on. Turns out that she did. I did my usual disclaimer which is that I can't promise that she won't fall off.

Ashley was riding Irish and he was feeling quite perky and happy to be out. Ashley had him going really well. I think that they both needed each other.

Carmen and Julia did very well together. I gave instructions. I had to be careful- every time I stopped walking Carmen would stop too. That was fair- it was all based on our groundwork and her responding to my body language. I enjoyed watching Carmen go. I can see a real change in how she was going.

Watching her go I felt a sense of pride - she has lovely movement naturally and I have had a lot of help but in the end I'm the one in the saddle and it feels good to see results. 

She Tasks Me

(props if you know the inspiration for the blog title- I welcome my fellow nerds)

Saturday was the last day of deer hunting season (with a rifle, muzzle loaders and bows are still allowed for one more week).  I know I'm going to sound like I am anti-hunting but I'm actually not. My grandfather was a hunter his whole life. When he was a boy hunting often made the difference between eating or not. I like to say that I'm not anti-hunting- I'm anti-idiots-hunting.

We have no hunting signs up on our property but I am still very careful. I walk the dogs in orange vests and make lots of noise when we're in our woods.

I know that is a long intro into the horse part of the post. Sorry. The point is that often during our rides the horses can hear people in the woods. Carmen is not a fan of this (for that matter neither is Irish).  I know that it's legit to be worried about the noises in the woods. I also know that for horses there almost always is a legit reason to be spooky.

I am working on recognizing that there is something but not being okay with her being distracted and not listening.  And that is not easy. I find myself sometimes thinking 'it's okay that she didn't bend through there, at least she didn't bolt'.

Nope. Not anymore. I am not accepting her to slightly do what I'm asking.

Stay with me. I'm going to tie this together.

With Saturday being the last day of hunting season there was a lot of activity in the woods around us. We even heard a couple shots that seemed close but probably were not.  So when I brought Carmen up to the ring I figured she might be a bit tense to start. I left Irish out in the front field which may have been a mistake. Anyway, when I mounted Carmen flatly refused to go past B/E towards the bottom part of the ring (close to the woods). And by refusing I mean spinning and bolting and generally throwing a fit.

I recognized this state- essentially there is no horse brain to reach- it's all adrenaline and self-preservation. Irish was running around his field as well which didn't help. Although she's not normally reactive to him.

like this

After trying to ride through it I hopped off and had to bring her back to the barn to get the lunging equipment. We headed back to the ring and I spent a long time on the ground getting her to tune in and listen.  We spent a lot of time in the part of the ring close to the woods. Finally I felt confident to get back on and ride her. 

Which I did and it wasn't bad. It wasn't great either. There were moments. She took exception to the lunging equipment on the ground by the gate although she was there when I put it there and went by it at least a dozen times before suddenly losing it: 

Carmen: WTF is that? OMG. 

Me:  Oh FFS, it's been there every time we've gone by. EVERY.TIME.

So I spent some time working on that. Finally I reached a point where I felt we had done some work and I hopped off. 

Which brings me to today. I wondered if some of Carmen's issues was related to her wanted to be by Irish. So today I brought Irish into his stall to eliminate that part. I brought the lunging gear up to the ring. I thought that having to dismount yesterday and head back to the barn was a bit of reward for Carmen as well. 

I also set up some poles for us to play with: 

I have to say I really like this configuration of poles. It gave me so many options to play with them.  I stayed focussed on what I was asking of her and keeping my seat relaxed. I wasn't always successful but I managed to fix it each time. Even once when we were cantering wildly and I just pulled my legs off so my set went into the saddle. That made such a difference. 

It was interesting to work with Carmen over the poles.  We started just walking the outside both ways, then a serpentine. After multiple trips she began to melt down between B and P. I wasn't buying it but couldn't get her to not jig. So instead I put her in a trot 10 m circle at P and made her work. I then asked her to walk and by then she was happy to oblige. 

The poles gave her just enough to think about but not enough to give her reason to pitch a fit. I liked having them to guide my figures. It also kept me focussed in the ring and not on all the things that Carmen could spook at.  I played with leg yielding, using the poles to guide me. 

Partway through the ride it began to lightly rain, but I refused to stop. In the past riding in the rain with Carmen was flirting with death. Now it just added a bit of spice to everything. Cause you know- we don't have nearly enough of that. 

We had some nice canter work over the poles - she actually does better then at the trot. I brought her to a walk to have a rest and she gave a dirty spook at R by suddenly spinning away. This usually unseats me enough. Now they just unbalance me. As I got my balance back I gave her a smack with the crop. 

Before you say 'now Teresa, you can't punish a horse for a spook', I don't believe that this was a true one. First of all we had been by there so many times by then. Carmen also has a history of spooking when she's tired and thinks we should be done. She took exception to the smack but we got ourselves back together and carried on. The spook didn't end the work, instead I picked up a trot and we went back to work practicing our trot lengthens. They felt pretty good across the diagonal. 

We finished with some much better work then the day before and I was happy for us to finish on some nice trot-halt transitions. 

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I prefer indoor arenas- much less dangerous

Steady as She Goes

Sailing a boat calls for quick action, a blending of feeling with the wind and water as well as with the very heart and soul of the boat itself.  Sailing teaches alertness and courage, and gives in return a joyousness and peace that but few sports afford.~George Matthew Adams

I would quibble with Mr. Adams or at least require that he add in horse sports. However, I seem to be on a nautical theme as late. Sorry about that. 

Knowing that winter is appraoching and it will impact my schooling I've been trying to sort out what my priorities are for riding. 

What I've decided is that it is creating a calm and steady dynamic between Carmen and I. From that I can build. However, it won't really matter how wonderful her trot lengthen is if I can't get it reliably beause her brain is all over the place. 

This requires such awareness of my mind and body- I need to be calm and steady and make sure that my seat is with her not tensed against her. It sounds so very simple but the body reacts in all sorts of subtle ways when the brain thinks it's in danger. 

It is getting easier. I am definitely less worried. Cynthia came out to ride yesterday (on a sad note she will be moving to the other side of the country but let's put that aside for now). 

The same old spots were creating difficulty and I had to just keep my seat relaxed and my brain on the task. It was interesting- she would come and go in her attention but I stayed steady and kept bringing her back. She did one small spin away from some rustling grass and I just sat it out, gathered up the rein she pulled out of my haand and we carried on. 

I'm really taking the fun out of this. 

We worked on some leg yields and shoulder in. She kept with me and we managed to get some half-decent strides and some really really nice strides. All depending on where her brain was.  I had to be a bit insistent at spots where she was sure that she just couldn't because of all the danger but nope, here we go. 

We finished up with some beautiful canter work. Her canter is really coming nicely undersaddle. It's very powerful which makes it difficult for both of us - it's so easy for her hind end to dump all her weight onto the front rather then to pick up and carry. I played with shortening and legnthening the stride on a circle and that seemd to help. I could feel her start to understand the 'ask'. Although she wanted to use my hands as a prop to help her carry herself. 

We also had some true and proper free walk where she was marching over her back and over-tracking with her feet. Cynthia looked over and said 'hey that's new!' And it is. We even practiced riding it into the scary corners and I refused to pick up the rein in anticipation. 

If I can keep building on this steadiness next year will be so much better. 

let us take a minute to appreciate how lovely she looks in her
new saddle pad. :)