dancing horses

dancing horses

Wednesday, January 9, 2019

Goals for 2019: Focus on the Process

2019 is not off to a stellar start. On New Year's Eve my daughter was admitted to hospital with a serious illness. She is still there but is recovering and I hope to bring her home in a day or two so I can take care of her and get some fat back on her bones. It was a scary time and I didn't have the heart  or time to post. I did enjoy reading the posts though. They helped me pass the time in the hospital. I am so grateful for our healthcare system that has taken such great care of my girl. It is exhausting and Ed and I took turns being with her or being home.
sunrise the day before some weather was going to descend on us.
Love my little farmhouse. 

However, sitting in hospital gave me lots of time to reflect on various things, including what I want to accomplish this year. Emma has been posting about focussing on 'process goals' not outcomes. I loved that whole idea so when I read her post (and other like it) it helped me bring some of my goals into focus. Emma, found these ideas on a post written by blogger Matt Brown.

Not that I think my goals in past years were 'bad' or anything. It just feels like I'm in a different place with where I want to go with my riding and horsemanship. Earlier this fall my goals were falling into the category of 'outcomes', like 'show second level' and 'try jumping'. And it's not that I don't want to do those things. I do. But if I don't meet those goals will my year be a failure? Maybe. It depends. It's not like I don't want to set a goal that makes me work and gives me focus. Which is where, as I understand it, the idea of a 'process goal' sets in. These are goals that have to happen in order for the larger goal to be met.

Heaven knows progress with horses can feel like the staircases in Hogwarts. Just as you think you are getting there, everything changes.

We all know that working with horses leaves many things out of our control. That means we need to focus on what we can control and spend less time fretting about what we can't. 

With that in mind here are my goals for 2019: 

The overarching goal is to build a strong relationship with Carmen built on trust and fun. 

1. Build a foundation of relaxation with Carmen that we can take anywhere: shows, clinics, the woods, etc. I've started this process already. I ended up subscribing to Tristan Tucker's website. I was hesitant because it is expensive. However, they offered a payment plan over 12 months which makes it less than half the cost of a lesson per month. So I bit the bullet. So far I am getting some insight into how to work with Carmen and it is working. Carmen is now officially easier to give wormer to than Irish and he's pretty damn easy. For a mare that used to rear and carry on about it that's major progress. 

1. A. Building a foundation of relaxation in myself. Carmen and I are very similar. I am naturally a high energy person and I need to learn how to control my own tension and body language. One that is independent of her energy. I need her to feed of my energy not vice versa. 
basically we need to be more like Willow #lifegoals

2. Create a work flow that makes sense to both of us and is fun. I am going to move away from the 'you must master this thing' and more towards working on the things with the confidence that we can get there and accepting when it isn't perfect as long as it's progress. This also means stopping when we get it right and not fall into mindless drilling. This will include trail, obstacles, poles (maybe wee tiny baby jumps) and dressage. I'm going to move away from worrying if I am mastering the specific movements and worry more about the dressage pyramid itself. 

3. Manage her diet and gut health- especially when I am exposing her to stressful things like trailering, shows, new places. I have my plan for when we travel. It may need some modifications but part of managing is being vigilant about her behaviour and what she may be trying to tell me. 

4. Improve the independence of seat, leg and hand. This means getting more in shape and maintaining awareness in the moment. If Carmen is being pissy or resistant I need to look to myself first. 

5. Keep learning: go to clinics (attend or audit), read, watch videos and take lessons. I am going to continue taking the trail clinics. 

6. Spend more time with other horse people. I love having my horses at home but it can be a bit isolating. I want to get out and do things with them: go on a trail ride, ride in their ring, have them come to my place etc. I really want to see if I can organize a fun weekend for horse people. A weekend where we go away with our horses and play. No pressures, no clinics, just horses, food and wine (or beer, or ginger ale). Let me know if you are interested. 

7. Go to shows and stretch myself. This may mean trying second level (Carmen can do all of it when she's relaxed so it's not a crazy idea). 

8. Teach Carmen to self-manage: rather than it all falling to me about how she feels and reacts, I want to give her the tools to manage herself. You can think of this as increasing her confidence. This means that it's okay if she makes a mistake and for me to help her find the answer rather than give it to her. 

I'm sure that there will be other goals that will crop up on a specific day and that's fine because I think that they won't be contrary to what I have above. 

I hope these plans of yours include cookies. 



36 comments:

  1. I am sorry to hear about your daughter, but glad she is on the mend! When our kids are sick, no matter their age, it is never fun.

    Your goals seem well in line with what you have been working on! I especially like 2, 6, and 8!

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  2. I love your goals. Hoping your daughter is feeling much better very soon!

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    1. Thank you! She’s much better which is a huge relief.

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  3. I hope your daughter gets an answer and gets better and comes home soon.

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    1. She is on my couch and I’m working on fattening her up 😁

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  4. All great goals to work towards this year. More cookies though. I didn’t read a single goal that included cookies ;)

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  5. I suppose creating goals that include the cooperation of a partner who hasn't been consulted is tricky lol. Your list is well thought out and sensible. I look forward to you and Carmen growing as a partnership this year. Hope your daughter has a speedy and comfortable recovery!

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    1. It is very tricky. Especially if the partner has a dramatic streak. Not saying which one though. 😇

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  6. Sorry to hear about your daughter, and I hope she gets better very quickly. Glad your country has a good healthcare system. Well of course you don't have an idiot for a president!!!!

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    1. She is improving. Our system is not perfect (none is) but I’m proud of it.

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  7. Great goals, hope you have a wonderful 2019! Best wishes for your daughter.

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  8. It sounds like you have been through a lot. I hope your daughter is now home on the road to recovery. It appears you have a solid vision about where you’re going with Carmen. It will be fun to watch you two through 2019. Happy New Year!

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    1. It’s been a real roller coaster. I do feel that my vision is much more consolidated this year.

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  9. Love the first goal about relaxation. That's a huge one, and will be a massive success.

    Also, I've been following your daughter's health on FB. I hope there are some answers soon. <3

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    1. I don’t think I ever appreciated how fundamental it was until it became so elusive

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  10. I've been following along with your FB posts about your daughter and have been thinking about you nonstop! I'm so glad things are on the up and up.

    I love the Hogwarts analogy!! But I'm a huge HP nerd lol.

    Wishing you the best with everything in 2019. I hope the rest of the year is infinitely smoother than the start <3

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    1. I’m a total HP nerd too. I am feeling positive about where we’re going.

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  11. Good goals! I'm glad your daughter is doing better. I saw a few posts on FB and it was good to see she was getting better and asking to go home. How scary though. I love goal #6. Going horse camping and doing fun games/shows where we spend more time hanging out with other equestrians is always a lot of fun.

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    1. It was very scary. Thankfully we are on the other side. I still want to do horse camping.

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  12. I love these goals... "Journey before destination" has been my mantra for horse training lately. I get too focused on the outcomes that I neglect the process. And working with horses is totally like a Hogwarts staircase!!

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    1. I love that - “Journey before destination “. You are so wise.

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  13. Thinking of you guys <3 Hope things are continuing to trend upwards.

    I love your goals - so many of us bloggers are workign on our relationships vs show goals this year.

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    1. It’s been really cool to read the goals of everyone and how similar they are n terms of relationship building.

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  14. I hope your daughter is recovering and will be well soon. It's so stressful when our kids aren't well.

    Your goals with Carmen and yourself for the year are definitely doable and should be fun. Looking forward to following your progress with each other.

    P.S. I want to be Willow!

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    1. We all want to be Willow. Her life is pretty awesome.

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  15. <3 Progress is progress. Cheers to growth with your girl. Glad your daughter is going to be home and on the mend. So sorry to hear of the illness.

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    1. Thank you. It’s a relief to have her on the mend.

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  16. I've been keeping an eye on your posts about your daughter on FB and I am glad that she seems to be improving. Hope she has a speedy and complete recovery at home and that that's all the unpleasantness for 2019. These sound like such awesome goals, with a healthy approach that will allow some wiggle room for life's unexpected nature...

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  17. Best wishes for the recovery of your daughter.

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  18. I’m a bit behind here but am so sorry to hear about your daughters health scare! Wishing her a speedy and uncomplicated recovery!

    I like your goals for 2019 a lot too, and think you and Carmen will knock it out of the park ;)

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    1. Thank you! It was your post that really helped me bring into focus what I wanted to do this year. :)

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