The Art of the Flail

Keeping fit in winter is not easy. Especially when you work. By the time I get home and deal with the chores it's too dark (and cold)  to walk unless I want to drive into town and walk the streets. I do find that unmotivating. When I found that the local firehall held Zumba classes twice a week I was excited.

Zumba is a lot of fun- the dancing takes the grind out of the exercise. I also have found that it has been very good for my core. To be honest, my core has always been pretty much non-existent. After my first winter of going to class I was in a riding a lesson and the instructor said
  'engage your core' 
'Uh Oh'  I thought 'here we go' 
 (by which I mean I will stiffen my torso in a feeble attempt to engage my core and then be told that I am too stiff and to relax and it will become a cycle of futility. ) However, to my surprise, I actually felt an honest to got muscle in my core tighten and do what she asked.

 I don't always make twice a week depending on work but I try. The last two classes, while fun, didn't feel like a great work out to me. So after class I approached the instructor and asked if we could have more cardio in the routine.
'More cardio? What do you mean?'
I explained that I wasn't feeling my heart rate go up like I had in the past.
'ah' she said 'do you wanna know what the problem is? '
'Uh Oh'  I thought (yes I think that a lot)
'when I look out at the class I see you not really going for it. ' And then she modelled what she saw.

I went home and thought about that and realized that she was right. I was trying too hard to get the moves right and not look like an idiot so I wasn't putting myself into it 100%.  I have often been guilty of that in my riding too  (see you patience was rewarded with the connection to riding).

When I ride (especially when I show) I want to look like this:

But I'm afraid that I look like this:

I end up trying too hard to be perfect. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be perfect per se, but it can keep me from really going for it becasue I'm waiting for it to fall into place. And, to be honest, because I don't want to make a fool of myself.

I'm pretty sure that I'm not alone in this. I have heard over the years various horsewomen (and ones that I profoundly respect) express feeling sorry for their horses because they are not good enough. And we've all had the unsolicited feedback from someone that makes you feel like everyone is watching and judging you.

I remember the one and only time I showed Irish 2nd Level. We were not ready to do it at a show but I set it as a goal and I really wanted to try it. We did and our score was in the 50s. As I was expecting. The judge's comments were that we were not ready to compete at that level. I am really glad that I did though becasue shortly after that Irish's neurological issues came out and he's retired. I have no regrets over showing at 2nd but I would have a ton if I had never tried.

I have decide to embrace 'The Flail'

While I am striving to be perfect I will not be afraid to make a fool of myself trying.

Armed with this new resolve I went to my next Zumba class. I was going to bring it. And I did. (I also apologised to those poor individuals around me). Aso, just FYI, if you challenge your Zumba instructor to make it harder, she's going to take that challenge seriously. I gave up trying to look like this:

And decided I was okay looking like this:

As I result I'm sure that I looked completely spazzy. But I kept my heart rate up for the whole class and I definitely felt it the next day.

I am going to try to take this resolve into my year with Carmen. We may not be pretty (well she will be) but we'll be trying. Anyone else want to join me in embracing the art of the flail?