Team Building

You know those 'Team Building' exercises where you're supposed to fall and let others catch you?
I've never done it but am sure that I would totally suck at it. I am self-aware enough to know that I might have a few control issues. So I probably would only fall if I was either drunk or didn't care if I got hurt (which might relate to being drunk come to think of it).

If we were in one of those sessions you would be all "fall Teresa we'll catch you" 
And I'd say "no I'm good"
And you'd say "come on, trust us"
and I'd say "last time I did that I was three years old and my brother didn't catch me and I broke my arm, you carry on and I'll go grab my camera"
At which point, awkward silence would ensue until someone suggests we try drumming instead.

However, I'm realizing that if I want to be an effective partner with Carmen I have to give her freedom. Otherwise we will end up in a tight little ball of tension and no real flow. However, it's very very very very hard to give enough freedom to a horse that not only has the athleticism to spin on a dime while going 0-60 in 2 seconds but will do so when she's frightened by something.  I realize that this is what I must do  in order to advance.

We're making progress on it. I had to go away for work so Carmen had yesterday off. Today was beautiful but very windy. Funnily enough my first thought was 'good, I can see if we can still progress when it's blustery'.  She was definitely excited for the first part of our ground work. There were lots of blowing leaves and grass. Also, now that it's fall, some leaves are flying through the air AND another patch of asters has appeared by the mounting block. However, I kept to my plan that she has to be focussed on me and I will do what I need to to keep it- transitions, moving her away from me when she falls in and asking her to bend to the inside when she's looking out. It was funny, I could the switch flip in her brain from OH MY GOD SO MUCH WIND to oh yeah I know this exercise and I'm rocking it. 

I mounted up and immediately asked to stay focussed on me. I no longer let her look around when I first get on- this gives her too much opportunity to find things that will bother her. Initially she finds this quite annoying- like a teacher asking you to stop looking out the window and focus. I find if I focus on praising when she listens and not getting upset when she doesn't but just keep asking she stops looking for a fight and settles into work. I really focussed on keeping my seat loose and giving her rein to stretch into, rather than hold her tight. I had contact but I wanted her to stretch out, not curl up. With Andalusians, it's very easy for them to curl in and set their neck. I don't want that.
She gave two rather large spooks. Of course my body reacted with hers but I was able to let go immediately and then go back to what we were doing while giving her the rein and not worrying about it. When I realized that I was focussing on whether we were doing a correct 10 metre circle rather then staying alive I started to smile.

The reality is that I'm asking her to let me catch her while giving her the opportunity to catch me as well.

If that makes any sense at all.

from my lesson a couple weeks ago. 

Learning Curve

After my last post it's time for a more upbeat post.

My last two rides on Carmen have been fabulous. Ever since Friday when I made sure she was focussed on me it feels like we've turned a corner.

That my ride on Saturday was good could also be explained by having Irish in the ring. But things were good both Sunday and Monday morning when we rode by ourselves. Here's what I've figured out:
1. I need to insist on her full attention right from the beginning of our ground work. And it's nifty to see how that really works. She seems positively grateful that she has me to focus on and not the stuff outside the ring. This does not require me to be harsh but it requires me to be attentive. And it requires me to insist that she bends on the lunge and gawk outside or deke in to me.

Carmen's view of the ring

2. Whatever I get from her on the ground work, I will get a watered down version while riding. 

Armed with this knowledge I have been approaching our work with a we can do this. I do my best to not worry about what she might worry about. And it's beginning to work for me. 

I don't have the goal of 'we must use all parts of the ring' but I do have the goal of 'I will attend to you but you must attend to me too'. This sometimes ticks her off because how dare I ask her to bend to the inside when there's clearly a danger outside that she need to monitor. I don't get rougher, I just keep repeating the aid until I get what I want. Sometimes I do make it stronger but mostly I just stay persistent. For example, she often counterbends going to the right past P. I pulse my inside leg and my hand asking her to flex to the inside. At the beginning I won't get this flexion until well past L. But with repetition it happens sooner and sooner until she is simply listening. 

For whatever reason I am not getting stressed about her not listening, but more philosophical about it.  Of course if she's really losing it (like Friday) I won't lie, I do get stressed.

Today I was really focussing on trying to rate her pace with my seat. It's not easy- I have to make sure I stay upright (leaning forward is my go to response when feeling uncertain), and keep  my seat soft and try to post to the pace I want. All of this takes so much of my concentration I can't worry about any potential scary places. 

I realized today that she and were discussing what we were doing, not where we were going. This is a big change and allows me to actually focus on stuff that is dressage-ish. Both of us we negotiating the work and it felt really good. I can feel how talented she is when she's on the aids. It's like we're weightless. I can't even hear her footfalls. I brought her back to the walk and gave her a long rein. She stretched over her back and walked out loose and easy. I then used my seat to steer her and refused to take up the reins. We were able to do changes of rein this way. I asked her to whoa and she came to a perfectly square halt. 

The more we do and the less that goes wrong the more both us gain confidence in each other. 

Bang Head Here

If you even just glance at this blog now and then, it's pretty clear that I've been working my butt off trying to get Carmen to settle in the ring. It's been a journey of forwards, backwards, sideways and (sometimes) upwards. Seriously, it's 3D.

By now through observation and data keeping I've figured out a few things that will set Carmen off:

• blowing leaves, grass, etc
• birds flying overhead (a hawk flew over once and cast a shadow over us. She freaked out. Well I saw it was a hawk, Carmen maintains it was a pterydactyl).
• being alone. 
• being in heat- although that usually manifests in a general grouchiness about moving forward. 
• things that she has decided that she will not do or places she will not go
• bushes/plants that weren't flowering yesterday but are now. 

Before it used to be any ONE of those things would lead to a frustrating ride. Now it's usually a combination. But I am a stubborn, determined sort of person so I keep working away. All of the instruction, reading and youtube watching convince me that it's patient leadership that will save the day. 

Sigh. 

I hate being patient. But that seems to be my life lesson. 

Yesterday was a lovely day and I got home and got Carmen ready. Irish was in his stall. She was warm and snuggly in the cross ties. She walked up happily with me  and our ground work was terrific. I took off the lunge line and walked her to the mounting block. As I did so the sky suddenly darkened and it became extremely windy. I swear, it came out of nowhere. Carmen immediately went into yellow alert. I had some misgivings but I got on. And endured 10 minutes of the most tense, spooky, argumentative ride I've had in a long time. It was awful. 

I dismounted and lunged her again. This time, I had to work really hard to have her attend to me. But I wasn't taking no for an answer. She had to listen to me- not the wind, evil clumps of asters  and blowing leaves/trees. After a long time of doing this up and down the ring we were both a hot mess. I took of the lunge line and got back on. I worked on simple things, like bending and steering. It was not great but it was better. I kept my seat as releaxed as I could but at times I needed to be clear with my aids that yes, we were going this way at this pace. Thank you ver much. I found a good moment and got off. 

I was feeling frustrated and so very frigging tired of riding the same ride over and over. I spent some time going over in my head how far she's come since she's arrived and that I just need.to.be.patient.

However, it didn't feel like a total loss because I did manage to get her listening to me. In the barn she went back to being her sweet self. 

This morning downed cold and blustery but the sun did come out. I was hoping that the wind would go away but had to accept that it probably wouldn't. Cynthia was coming out to ride too so I figured Irish would be of help. I got Carmen ready. She walked up beside me and it was apparent right from the beginning that she was definitely tuned into me. Not that she didn't notice the trees, grass and leaves blowing like crazy but she stayed focussed on me. Even going past the evil asters. I got on and began out ride. I had decided that I was ignoring whatever was going on outside of the ring and staying focussed on the inside of the ring. And I had one of our best rides in terms of obedience. 

There was one big spook when we were doing a 10 metre circle not was from the Evil Asters. But I just kept relaxed and brought her right back to what we were doing. I insisted on bend but gave as soon as she relaxed. I made sure that my inside leg pulsed and didn't grip. I did my level best to keep my seat following. I began to be able to play with shapes and figures in the ring. One that was fun was trot on right rein down the long side, right turn at P, half a 10 metre circle to the left at L and then leg yield from the quarter line to the rail and repeat at R/I. It was fun to do because my aids had to be timed correctly and it was busy enough to keep her attention but not hard physically. It also allowed me to get her to face the 'scary grass' but with a task, not just heading towards them. we ended walking around the whole ring with a long rein (to the buckle). 

So I think I'm on the right track- no more trying to baby her along but being clear and sticking to what I want, not what she wants. Our ride wasn't perfect but it was progress. 

I'll take that. 

Boosters

Carmen has been on the PRE supplement for over 2 weeks now and I do notice a difference. She much calmer to handle. She's not always calm under saddle but she's more likely to increase her forward momentum then to balk. I much prefer energy to channel.

Today in our session she was good on the lunge with a few spooky areas. I had to giggle at her suspicion of the wild asters that have suddenly bloomed. She views plants that are green one day and then flowery the next as falling into the 'not-to-be-trusted' category. I did try to explain about flowers that adorn competition rings but I'm not sure she appreciated my point.

I got on and she was excellent at first. We were working on our warm up when she gave a huge spook and scoot. She turned to face the tree, trembling slightly. I think it was a squirrel but I can't prove it. After that she was a ball of nerves. I thought about dismounting but it didn't feel awful. I decided to see if we could work through it. I focussed on keeping my seat quiet and following as well as my hands. I did shorten up the reins though. We had moments where she was 100% with me and times when I had about 20%. But there was no huge melt down and no more big spooks. We were able to work on transitions, shoulder in (it sucked but we tried), leg yield (we rocked them) and turns on the forehand. That exercise was fun we trotted, halted, turn on the forehand and trotted off. She seemed be intrigued by this new exercise. There was a moment in the middle when she was no longer scared but seemed to figure we should be done. We worked through that and she settled again. We finished with her trotting into the scary corners and I dismounted.

I find that I'm more confident dealing with 'I don't want to' then 'I'm scared' so I have to work on that. I think it's because the fear feels more unpredictable. After I gave her a nice groom which she quite enjoyed.

On a sadder note there have been a couple horse deaths in our area that are suspected to be due to Eastern Equine Encephalitis (EEE). I vaccinated both horses in the spring when the vet came but it needs to be done every 6 months. I called the vets to order both West Nile and Triple E (to be safe) and had Ed pick them up. After my ride, Ed came out and fed her an apple while I gave her the injection. She barely noticed. Irish got his next. He's so used to needles that I could have done it in his stall but he wanted his apple too.  I feel so much better now that it's been done.

keeping a lookout for mosquitoes...

It's All Relative

So now that I've changed my perspective with Carmen I've noticed improvements. But it's not all sunshine and roses. What I have come to realize is that I need to evaluate our progress on the day. This graphic is helping me a lot:

in fact, our straight lines sometimes look like the right....

On Saturday, she was up and reactive (it was a stormy day and she had 4 days off). I did a lot of groundwork and then got on. She was tense but listened to me and our walk work was very good. Shortly after that it started to rain so I ended and all we had done was walk. But I was happy.

On sunday when I rode we had a pretty good ride. As always she was sticking in her walk-trot transitions but I stayed persistent and calm. After repeated 'asks' she gave a little hop and broke into canter.
Carmen: "There, deal with that!"
Me: "Great idea. Let's canter"
Carmen: "No, you don't get it. You're supposed to pull me up"
Me:  "and ruin such a lovely canter? Never! Let's go. I love cantering"
Carmen: *sigh*

I much prefer a forward gait, even it's not what I asked for then her sucking back through a transition. After that canter she settled into some nice work. We were able to shoulder in up into troll corner and I was quite happy.

Monday I rode again. The wind was quite blustery and she was quite tense being ridden. Instead of being frustrated that I wasn't getting the same great work that I had on the ground I just dealt with what we had. I realized that two weeks ago I would have had to dismount and lunge some more. I wanted to see if we could work through it. And while our work was not great we managed to walk trot and canter with only 2 big spooks. Both of those spooks were a sudden stop and spin and almost unseated me. The first one caught me unaware. For the second she had broke to canter and I decided to let her go to let her release some tension. It was working but I made sure that I was sitting up and back. Thank heavens because she gave a sudden stop and spin and if I hadn't been ready I would have ended up on the ground. But I didn't and we carried on cantering.

 She never really settled but she tried to settle. I know that if I relax my seat and go with her motion she really likes it and will stretch and blow. The problem is that I have internalized the idea of a 'still seat' so I have to focus on it. As soon as my mind goes to something else I go back to my more 'stiff' seat. That said, I am okay with that because I know that there is a progression from having to concentrate all the time to being able to do it without conscious thought. If I persist I will get there. I also really tried to not have the reins too short. That is REALLY hard when she feels like she's going to spook at any second. A couple times she stopped and refused to go forward. There was one going backwards episode but I was able to cut that off quickly. Each time I asked her to go forward 'just for me'. I was positive and supportive and each time she did take the step, even though it was against her better judgement.

So our progress is relative but I'm okay with that. I believe that Carmen will teach me to be tuned in and diplomatic. Irish probably believes that it's about time.

An Epiphany

a (1)  :  a usually sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature or meaning of something (2)  :  an intuitive grasp of reality through something (as an event) usually simple and striking (3)  :  an illuminating discovery, realization, or disclosure (Merriam-Webster)

I had a bit of an epiphany a couple days ago. It makes perfect sense to me but let's see if I can explain myself.

I was reflecting on Carmen and our training progress. It all started because I was reviewing my goals for September:
Goal # 1. Walk, trot and Canter in every spot of the ring.
Progress: Fair. we've managed to work in every spot but it's definitely not consistent and I have not cantered the corners.

Goal #2: Work on a stretchy trot circle.
Progress: Very Good. I've learned to release with my hands and let her stretch out the base of her neck into contact. She's learning to reach for the bit and stretch out. She doesn't understand a huge release at the trot but she's getting it at the walk.

So in summary, I've made some progress but perhaps not as much as I wanted. But what I have made strides in is learning to read her and work with her on any given day. Which leads to my epiphany. I realized that I have been working with Carmen towards the goal of having her stop being so reactive to stuff. However, Carmen is an intelligent, sensitive mare. Reacting is part of her essential nature. In my head every time she would spook or gawk or balk I would be thinking "don't do that. I don't want you to be like that". In other words, I wanting her to not be herself.

No wonder we were at odds. The truth that hit me was that I kept waiting for her to be like Steele. Which is completely unfair (not to mention unrealistic). I recognize the irony that I deliberately bought a horse NOT like Steele and then tried to recreate him (albeit subconsciously). It was similar to guys that I dated in University. Many of them liked that I was low maintenance but didn't like my independence. They kept trying to change me. It felt awful. I bought Carmen because she was sensitive, brilliant and intelligent. That means that she is reactive and often 'hot'. I need to accept the hotness as part of who she was.

This realization felt simple and right. I don't know what it changed in me but she definitely noticed. Now when she's gawking and/or spooking I tell her "yes, I know that is kinda freaky. Let me worry about it". Since I accept this part of her I'm not longer riding as defensively. And because I'm less defensive she's spooking less.

She's more open to listening to me because I am truly listening to her.

Clothes Horse

When I had two gelding blankets were impossible. All that they wanted to do was to rip them off each other. While Irish does get a nice winter coat he required a lot of groceries to keep his weight on last winter. Carmen's weight is good but she's not a typical easy keeper Andalusian. Also, she's from Virginia so I want to make sure that she doesn't lose this winter. So I decided that I needed to invest in a winter blanket for my girl. 

The first step was to measure her. Cynthia helped me. As we held the tape she measure out at almost 80 inches. I didn't believe that was feasible. I made us repeat it 3 times. Each time it came out the same. Still not believing I brought her in and tried on one of Irish's blankets which was 78. It fit her but was a wee bit tight in the shoulders. I was flummoxed. I had no idea that she was that size. So I have ordered her a winter blanket. 

Earlier this week I was in a small local tack shop. I was looking for a cooler for her. I found a colourful fleece one that 81 inches for a great price so I picked it up. The timing was perfect because our weather has turned cold and rainy. Thursday morning it was rainy but warm so I put them out. By late afternoon it was cold and rainy. When I brought the horses in they were soaked and looked a little chilly. I put Irish's cooler on him and then went to get Carmen's. 

When I brought it into her stall her ears pricked up. 

Carmen: "ooh what's that?"

Me: "This is a new blanket I bought you. It will keep you warm"

Carmen: *sniffs it* "It looks rather loud. Do you think I can pull it off?"

Me: "oh yeah. Totally"

I put it on her while she turned to each side checking it out. It was adorable. I also felt that I should have brought a full length mirror for her.  I fastened up the belly straps. I was pleased to see how well it fit. 

Carmen looked at me. 

Carmen: "Are you sure it's not too much? Should I go for something more understated and classical?"

Me: "I think that you pull it off very well."

Carmen: "Well it is soft and cosy. It feels very nice and I'm warming up already."

I think that she looks good don't you? 

There's a whole new world of shopping opened up with owning a mare......