Slowpokes

Sorry for the lack of posts these days- life has been busy. 

Carmen and I have been slowly working along. I've been trying very hard to not get frustrated but instead to be patient and methodical. Those are two words that are not generally used in describing me, so I guess I can use it as a goal for personal growth. 

Things I'm learning about Carmen: 

1. She likes soft brushes not hard
2. she needs space to figure stuff out- if you try to push she will resist but if you give her time she will do what you want
3. she does not like to be alone 
4. she needs to develop confidence- in herself and in me. 
5. she notices everything and anything new
6. she loves and responds to praise

I've been working her in the ring but so far have only been able to ride her with Irish. Other times when I've had the thought that I might she just didn't feel ready and it seemed that I would be fighting her more than working with her. So I decided to not do battle. 

I've had to talk myself through the idea that we are making progress, even if it's at the speed of a herd of turtles galloping through peanut butter. It's hard when you're an amateur trying to figure it out on your own- it's so easy to second guess every single decision. But, while thinking things through is useful, I can't let uncertainty invade the work or Carmen will have not reason to trust me. 

Yesterday Cynthia cam and rode Irish. After doing some ground work I got on. She stood at the mounting block rather than walking off (see, progress).  We spent some time working on walk and trot. I really focussed on being clear and balanced so that she could find steadiness in me when she didn't have it in herself. I've also put a grab strap on the saddle so that if she spooks I have something to grab and won't grab her mouth. She gave a big spook sideways once but I was able to sit deep and not grab with my legs or my hands and then just carry on with the work. We spent some time following Irish and moving off. After a while we were following Irish and he and Cynthia trotted off. Carmen asked if we should also trot but I said 'no, we'll just walk' and she said 'okay'. With that I halted and hopped off. 

Today I went and brought her in from the field. I closed the gate on the small paddock so Irish was stuck there as well. She did not like being alone in the barn at all but was being okay until Ed started the gas harrow (he was gardening). she was freaking out in the cross ties but I just kept calm and working her and correcting her when she got too feisty. She settled and I tacked her up. In the ring she was being quite reactive to a flowering bush on the side of the hill (it didn't have flowers before so it obviously had evil intentions). 

When it became obvious that she wasn't calming down on the lunge I stopped and asked myself 'what does she need from me?' I asked her to whoa and then I started doing work in hand with her. Within 5 minutes she was a different horse. What she needed was for me to be close enough to provide support and to give her something to focus on. On the lunge she had too much freedom and was getting herself in a knot. After doing in hand work we went back to lunging and she was so much more relaxed and listening. I then put on her bridle and mounted. This time she stood still until I asked her to move off and I didn't have the sensation that she antsy. 

We did some work- all very very basic stuff. Some went well and some did not. She spooked a couple times but I stayed with her and since there was no reaction from me I could feel her develop confidence in me. She then tried to tell me we were done and she really didn't need to trot anymore but I stayed firm and clear until she had a lovely forward trot and carried it for a bit. I then asked for a walk and then a halt. I then introduced the idea of the turn on the forehand (we've done it from the ground) and I could feel her really thinking about what I was asking (rather than all the dangers lurking outside the ring). We did three steps of the turn on the forehand and I got off. 

We walked back to the barn and she suddenly slammed on the brakes. I looked and saw that Ed had set up a screen and shovel (he's been screening some dirt). 

It's fine. I said. She walked a couple steps and stopped. 

It could be dangerous. 

Yeah but I'll protect you. 

No. 

Okay, but if you want to get back out to the field we have to through the barn and by the shovel. Let me know when you're ready. 

I stood there calmly for  minute to let her think and then I started walking into the barn. After a brief hesitation she followed.

In the barn I put her in the cross ties and Ed came in. She looked at him and he gave her a pat.

she's starting to like me he looked very pleased. And he was right. she was perfectly happy with us in the barn and could have cared less about where Irish was. We talked about she now seems so content and happy with us rather than worried about stuff. She soaked in the attention and love with her eyes half closed. 

Progress. 

After our ride. Also, her new brow band and bit. :)

Memorial

As you may recall, Steele is buried on our property. I drive by his grave every day. I have been giving some thoughts as to how to mark his grave. I thought about various options but none felt right. I then remembered what I wanted for when I die: 

your remains are planted and it grows into a tree. Way better than a coffin or Urn sitting on the shelf. 

I had always wanted a Magonolia tree, so today Ed and I went to nursery and picked one up. I planted it beside his grave. 

It will have beautiful, showy, white blossoms every spring and when they fall they will cover his grave.

I think that he would have liked that. It then came to me- "Steele Magonolia" and I had to chuckle. He'd have liked that too.

I am enjoying and love Carmen but I  still miss my beautiful boy. 

Self-Sufficiency

I recently did one of those FB quizzes called 'What kind of Lady are you?' I was curious because I was pretty sure that my grandmother despaired of me ever being a lady at all. In the end I was called 'An Independent Lady":

Naturally, you don't like to be constrained by anything. You love freedom and liberty and you could care less what others may think or say about you. You have a way of spicing up anything and everything you do in life. The amazing experiences you've had make you the best dinner-party guest with the most intriguing stories to tell. Everyone agrees that you are classy in a your own kind of way.

I'm sure that these are as valid as a Magic 8 Ball but it felt correct. While I doubt my ability to be the 'best dinner party guest' (I will however, be an appreciative guest. Just FYI) I do value being able to take care of things by myself. It's not that I don't value help but I want to know how to things on my own.

My birthday was about 2 weeks ago. It always fall around Mothers day (here in Canada anyway). Ed asked me what I wanted and I said 'my own tool box'. He looked at me oddly. Now Ed is incredibly handy around the property but when we were sharing the barn I got used to free access to the tools and such. Now that he has his new garage it's a bigger pain. Plus he hates people messing with his stuff. I explained that I wanted to be able to have some basic tools so I could leave his stuff alone. That got him all excited. Well, 'excited' might be an exaggeration. Perhaps 'slightly keen' is a better descriptor.

Also, in case you're wondering, while I love Ed with all my heart I have long given up on the idea that he will surprise me on my birthday/christmas etc. He really wants to get it right so he prefers to ask.

So on Mothers day I was pleasantly surprised to see a brand new tool box in my tack room and it was full of useful things like hammer,  nails, screwdrivers, screws, etc.

The next day, for my Birthday, Ed gave me my own cordless drill. Now THAT was a surprise.
So now, instead of asking Ed for help I've been figuring it out on my own. I've tightened up my gate, fixed a broken board in my ring and repaired Carmen's stall door. When I came home from work an entire board from her stall door was sitting in the middle of the aisle.  Someone kicked had it out.

Normally I would call Ed to fix it but I figured I could do it.I grabbed my drill and the right screwdriver head. I backed out the screws and then put the board back. I screwed it in but the right side was sticking out a couple inches. I tried to screw it in but it wouldn't move.
I kicked it.
Nothing happened.
I did NOT want to call Ed to fix it. So I backed the screws out again and it slipped into place. I screwed them in and TA-DAH. It was done.

Having your own tools is fun.

Nope, I don't have a blanket problem, not me.

You'll recall that I said that Carmen seemed to be bothered by the black flies.

That of course got me to thinking that she needed a fly sheet.

Because I don't want princess to be bothered by nasty, bitey flies.

Of course if she has one than Irish must have one. I must be fair to both of my horses.

When I had two geldings I couldn't indulge my love of blankets use blankets because they tore them off each other. Carmen, however, is too mature for that.

At that is why I stopped at a tack shop on my way home from work. The sales person was lovely and showed me all the sheets and we discussed their pros and cons. She was happy to enable my addiction.

I left with 2 fly sheets, a fly mask (you can always use an extra one) and a pair of bell boots (they were on sale).

I checked the fit  and they are perfect. Carmen's has a neck attachment and a belly cover. Irish doesn't need that so his is simpler.

Don't they look good?

I also tried the fly mask on Carmen. She's never had one on before so I wanted to introduce her to it slowly. I needn't of worried. She didn't care at all as I put it on her. She just looked at me as though to say 'are you done? Can I have supper now?'

I think I deserve points for not getting her the rainbow one though

It's much sparklier in person.
I think Ed would have killed me. 

Eavesdropping

If you were at Oakfield Farm last week you would have overheard this conversation:

Ed: When are you going to put the horses over into the grass pasture?

Irish: yeah, when? That's what I want to know!

Me: We have to wait for the grass to be growing well, so in about a week or so.

Irish: A week? I'll die!

Ed: Can you be more specific?

Irish: I vote tomorrow. Tomorrow is good.

Me: I can't. It all depends on how the grass grows.

Irish: Don't listen to her. Listen to me. I'm a horse. I know about these things.

Ed: I need to schedule the backhoe to fix the drainage around the barn. It would help if I had a date that they were in the back.

Irish: Exactly! See, you are holding up much needed repair work.

Me: You book the person and I will see how things come in. I have to wean them over carefully and I want to make sure that the grass is well established. Otherwise it won't last.

Irish: You don't need to wean me. How about I just eat little bits at first?

Me: Really Irish? You will just eat a 'little bit'? Rather than diving in like the contestants on Survivor at a buffet?

Irish: yes. It's called negotiation and I nailed it.

Me: Hmm. Somehow I don't believe you.

Irish: Frankly I'm hurt.

Me: well that's better than you foundering or colicking from too much grass too soon. Plus I don't want to ruin the grass.

Irish: You worry too much. I'm not talking to you anymore. I'm talking to other servant: listen, when she's gone to work and you are home just let us over. She doesn't have to know. It will be between us guys.

Ed: He's pretty convincing you know.

Me: sigh.

By this weekend they should be fully over onto the pasture. Thank heavens. I can't take any more discussions like this one.

And We Ride

Of course you know that I had to ride today. Cynthia came out with her daughter and we got the horses ready.

The black flies have come out in droves and Carmen seemed to be really bothered by them. I'm not sure if they have black flies in Virginia or if she's just sensitive. She also was not impressed with fly spray so that is something to work on.

I brought up her bridle with the new bit and brow band (sorry no photos). My plan was to work with her on the ground and then proceed to mounting. It is amazing how well the breathing works. Carmen tends to get a bit fast in her gaits which makes her unbalanced. To balance herself she lifts up her head and tenses her back. I worked on getting her to slow by slowing myself and rewarding her verbally when she settled into a more sedate pace. When she does that her head lowers, her back comes up and she flows forward. I want her to learn that that's the gait for her.

We went up and down the ring, stopping for brief breaks and then carrying on. I was just starting to think that it was time to put her bridle on. I asked her to walk and Irish was coming along the rail. All of a sudden she pinned her ears and began to back into him. Whoops. Poor Irish stood there going 'huh, what?' I got after her immediately and sent her forward. She needed to know that that was not a good decision. I prefer to work on that from the ground rather than under saddle so I spent another 15 minutes lunging her and setting her up by Irish (thanks Irish and Cynthia). Because I knew what to expect I could prevent that unwanted behaviour at it's first glimmer- it was all in her eye. As soon as she looked like she was even thinking of Irish (rather than me) I sent her forward into work. She's smart so it didn't take long for her to ignore him again.

Now it was time to get on. As I walked her to the mounting block I made sure that I was breathing. I was perfectly fine getting on and then getting off if I had to. After a few tries, she stood still at the block and I mounted. I asked her to move forward. We walked around and I stayed away from Irish. She showed signs of wanting to follow him but I was clear that that was not in the cards. Make the right thing easy and the wrong thing hard.

I asked for trot and she hesitated about going forward. Now with Steele I could have simply given him a small kick and told him to get on with it but I wanted to give her a chance to figure it out. I believe that with Carmen you could easily get into a fight. So as we trotted and walked I made sure that I was being as perfect as possible:

• sitting up, not leaning 
• keeping my hands, arms and shoulders soft
• not gripping with my legs- just gentle nudges when needed. 
• using lots of praise when she was right.
• if she was more resistant I did use my voice to growl at her - like I do on the ground. 
• I kept my post steady and slow so she wouldn't rush. 

I could feel me start to lose her attention so I used the exercise I learned from John in our clinic last year- I picked up a trot for a few strides and then sat to allow her to walk. Repeat a few times, change direction on the circle and repeat. As I did this exercise I felt her come back and begin to relax. 

We took a walk break for a few minutes. I lost her attention again so I asked her to trot and she was quite resistant. I don't know why- perhaps it's being in heat -Irish was going by behind us as well, perhaps because it worked before to end the session, perhaps she plain didn't want to. I'm positive that the saddle was fine as she wasn't doing what she had before and it felt more like a question rather than an 'ow'. I did my best to keep myself the steady and calm centre and rode the circle. She tried to turn off the circle but I opened my inside rein and asked her to stay in (now I know an opening rein is somewhat controversial but in her case it worked). 

Then all of a sudden her back softened, she lowered her head and we had the smoothest, loveliest trot going. I rode it for 2 circles (telling her that she was awesome), asked her to walk, halt and I hopped off. I wanted her to think about that part and I didn't want to jinx it. I will likely push for more later but this seemed good to me. 

I think we were both happy with our session. 

Tests

So Johanna left and Carmen and I were on our own.

Don't get me wrong. I learn best by applying new learning to situations on my own. It's not necessarily the best way to learn, it's just how I learn.

I gave Carmen friday off and contented myself with just grooming her.

Saturday Cynthia came out and we worked both horses in the ring. I kept focussing on the key points of Johanna:

1. slow even breaths
2. clear intention
3. be sure of what you want

We did some lunge work up and down the ring. There were a few spots that she was a bit hinky about- by the mounting block and the corner right across from the mounting block. I didn't make a big deal about it, I just kept breathing and being sure. She relaxed more and more. When she seemed very calm I allowed her to check out the block and then we headed over to the spooky corner to rest and graze. We then returned to work. 

Overall I was quite pleased with both of us. But I knew that the true test was sunday: on that day we were loading up both Irish and Carmen and going to see the saddle fitter. 

Sunday dawned gray and bit rainy. I fed the horses and let them out for a bit. Once the truck and trailer were parked up we got the two of them and brought to the trailer. 

Now Irish has always been a fabulous loader- I throw the lead line over his neck and he walks on calmly. Except for today. Today he went on half way and then 'nope, not gonna' and he backed off. 

'what the heck?" I put the lead line back on and sent him back. He tried to back off and I slapped him on the butt and then closed the butt bar. He then began to fuss and throw himself about. 

Sigh. 

Redheads.

Carmen was not at all convinced that she wanted to get on if Irish was so upset. I focussed on being calm and breathing just bringing her on. For the me, the trick on trailer loading is to have all the time in the world. She was getting a bit upset so I stopped and gently stroked her nose. 

It'll be fine. Don't worry. 

And with that she hopped on and stood like a mature horse. 

The trailer ride was just over 2 hours but they were fine the whole trip. We took them off and into the indoor arena. Carmen was quite excited and was very nervous about the opening that was halfway up the arena- it was a small observation room. I hooked on her lunge line and just kept working her. And breathing. 

Seriously- I slowed my breathing so much I was starting to get lightheaded. Slowly and surely she began to come back to me. I gave her opportunities to come to me and gradually she settled. I had her and I slowly walked off while she followed like a puppy. She then stood at the scary opening with all the calmness of a seasoned horse. I love how quick she learns. 

I won't go into all the details but her saddle was adjusted and I rode in it. At first she expected it to hurt and fussed but settled very quickly. I was thrilled with the outcome. I also bought a new bit and she got a new browband- a V-shaped one with bling (heaven help me - I have realized that my fashion choices are much broader with a mare). 

We left her and Irish to relax in the indoor for a bit before heading home. they were having fun cavorting around. It was also clear that Carmen was in heat. Nothing like having a stallion visit to jumpstart things. 

When it was time to come home Irish walked on and tried to back off again. I broke all the rules but I stood behind him saying 'I don't think so. You keep your ass on that trailer or you have to go over me.' He made the right decision and stayed on. I closed the butt bar. 

Carmen was again uncertain and fussed about it for a few minutes. I stopped and took a deep breath. I stood beside and spoke to her. To be honest I don't remember what I said but it was along the lines 'we're going home. I need you to hop on and it will all be fine. Let me know when you're ready'. I then walked on and she followed right behind. 

Again both horses were good coming home and the trip was uneventful. So Carmen has learned that she can get on a trailer and go somewhere and it's all fine. 

Once home they unloaded quietly and calmly. I let them out into the grass paddock and they dove into the grass. 

I was thrilled for my day and can't wait until tomorrow. 

She's filling out nicely too!