Summer seems to have arrived. Two weeks ago it was like 8 degrees. Now it's in the mid twenties and sunny. It is glorious. It's been making it easy to be outside and do chores (at least as long as the bug spray lasts).
Guiness says that if you get in the water the bugs can't get you.
Ed spent the weekend mowing the paddocks. I love how they look when they are done:
I could sit on my deck all day and look at this view
My rides on Miss Carmen have also been pretty glorious. At least to me. To others they are likely not anything special. It's like things have clicked and she's decided that it's okay to be a riding horse.
Not that we don't have moments. We do. And when she does spook there's a part of me that is waiting for everything to spiral out of control. But other then the glitch last week where I came off, that has not happened. Carmen spooks, we regroup and carry on like nothing happened.
You know, like normal horse and riders. So the voice inside that tells me that this will not last is getting smaller.
It feels wonderful to be worried about whether she's coming enough from behind, rather then whether she will leave me behind.
I had a lesson thursday. It had been a long day and I felt like I was riding like a sack of potatoes. But it was a great lesson. We were working on steadiness and rhythm. We practiced a lot of changes across the diagonal but not lengthening. The idea was to keep her steady so that she didn't speed up. Once she has that we can ask for a lengthen from the self-carriage.
It takes some half-halts and awareness of what I'm doing. Also, not getting flustered when we bobble, just regrouping and carrying on.
We finished with some canter work that was pretty darn good for us.
I love how she's looking for the answer, and while she might not always agree, we can at least talk about it now.
Today Johanna sent me a message that warmed my heart: " you have both been making huge strides- because of your changes. Carmen is a different horse. You made enormous decisions to change and I respect that. It was a great pleasure to see you on Carmen" .
Honestly, she is not a person who gushes or throws out compliments willy-nilly so that felt huge.
Today I rode late morning. I've started to have Guinness out when I ride and teaching him to stay out of the ring. Today I let him out when it was just Carmen and I. Before then I've been doing it when Julia is riding Irish too so that there are two of us telling him what to do.
He looks like he's calling the meeting to order
Carmen did not care at all and he was really good about staying out. Once I noticed that his orange bone was in the ring and he was sitting outside looking sad. I figured he would get it after we went by. Carmen didn't care about this 'thing' in the ring. Anyway, Guinness didn't get it so I stopped her and said 'come on in and get your bone'. He was looking pretty sheepish as he came in to get it. I love that Guinness is growing into my companion. He really is a great dog.
It was a good ride and a beautiful day. Who could be cranky on such a day? Not me that's for sure.
Contrary to what we usually believe, moments like these, the best moments in our lives, are not the passive, receptive, relaxing times—although such experiences can also be enjoyable, if we have worked hard to attain them. The best moments usually occur when a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile. Optimal experience is thus something that we make happen. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience
Spoiler alert: I had the best weekend.
It all started with my hack out on Friday.
Saturday was my birthday and I had plans for the day that probably only would seem great to fellow farm/horse owners. Things like cleaning all the old hay and poop out of the small paddock. I put the horses up in the riding ring to eat the grass growing in around the edges while I did that. They were happy to oblige and I was happy to get a winters worth of crap out of the way.
The other plan was, of course, to ride. I tacked Carmen up and took her up to the ring. We did a bit of ground work and it was clear she was feeling pretty mellow. My goal, as per my plan this year, was to see where she was mentally and then work from there.
and you know what?
She was right there.
In the past our rides would be like:
Carmen: let's see- the grass is moving so clearly there are monsters lurking...
Me: carmen
Carmen: crap, is that a pterodactyl? where are my exits?
Me: Carmen
Carmen: shit, I have to watch the grass, the trees, the skies. Danger lurks everywhere, better safe than sorry.
Me: CARMEN
Carmen: OH MY GOD, STOP YELLING AT ME. I HAVE ENOUGH TO WORRY ABOUT WITHOUT YOU UP THERE BEING ALL BOSSY. Screw this, I'm out.
Instead we had a ride that I can only describe as a conversation the whole time. She jumped once and then walked up to see what it was (a bird). Once she stopped to survey the next field. I looked too and said oh look carmen- it's a bald eagle! Isn't it beautiful? (yes, literally I said that).
She looked and sighed and carried on. We went everywhere and she was great.
I found a spot that was perfect and decided to stop. I could have kept going (I had things I would have liked to school) but I'm trying to find a good spot to end. I find that this is helping her look to be good because it is rewarded (not sure if that makes sense, but it does to me). After I sat on the deck and cleaned tack.
strutting. I know she above the vertical but she's taking me forward with energy and I will take it.
Saturday night Ed and I went out to dinner with some good friends. It was so much fun to eat and drink and talk and laugh.
I had also booked a lesson for 8:30. Shanea had wanted 8:00 but I negotiated later because I knew I was going to be out late. The morning was windy and cold (although sunny). I was sorry because I figured that my ride would be very different. Shanea arrived early and I was still tacking up. I refuse to rush because it never works out. I was also a little tired from partying.
Carmen blew me out of the water: she was exactly the same as the day before. In fact, she was better.
She was walking around all confident and easy going.
Like who is this mare?
here she is doing a free walk down the side that created so much emotion in the fall:
Compare that to this from last fall:
We worked on simple walk-trot-walk transitions. Keeping her with me and supple over the back. It went very well. I was losing the bend in the corners and Shanea advised me to use my inside leg and my outside knee to keep the shoulder from falling out. It worked like a charm.
We found a good spot to end and stopped. Carmen was pleased with herself. I was pleased with her and Shanea was pleased with both of us.
I love how much fun riding is becoming. I love how relaxed and affectionate Carmen is getting. I can place my hand on her neck and she immediately relaxes.
I know that treating the ulcers was a major piece of this. But taking the pain away was only part. I needed to work through the loss of trust and habits that have been in place for a long time. I credit working through the TRT stuff with a lot of this. I can see her confidence growing and it makes my heart glow.
