dancing horses

dancing horses

Tuesday, December 14, 2021

Still Standing

 This date is always hard for me. 

my all time favourite photo. d'Arcy and 
Steele are gone but Irish is still here

I guess anniversaries always are. While I wouldn't blame you for thinking it's been 7 years are you still honestly crying over it? the answer is yes, I sometimes still cry over the loss of my horse. 

For the record I still cry over the loss of my dogs and family members. Even friendships that I've lost. The older I get the more I allow myself to feel sadness for things that are, well, sad. 

Writing the book chapter this summer was hard. I had numerous tears and had to leave it for a bit and then come back to it. Editing it was really hard. I wanted to just leave it alone. It felt like I was picking a scab. But it also felt cathartic. Re-writing about it allowed me to deal with emotions that I simply was unable to handle at the time. It allowed me to see how much love there was and to appreciate that part of my journey. 



 Looking back on my history with Carmen also helped me to put it in perspective and I realized things that I hadn't before. I found these photos five years apart and I love the difference: 

20216

2021

 It seems fitting that the books arrived the day before the anniversary of Steele's death. It feels right. My story is now out there and there's no way to stop it. I know that it was on my blog but that still felt within my control. I could delete it whenever I wanted. And it's part of a larger work of women who found their way with horses despite everything. It's a good project to be part of. 



For those of you who ordered a book from me- those will be sent out this week. Shirley, at Ride a Good Horse, won the draw for a free copy and I will send it out this week too. 

16 comments:

  1. Thank you so much; for the book and for being brave enough to tell your story, along with the others who contributed to the book. I so look forward to reading it!

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  2. My Lab Jessie died 16 years ago and I still tear up when I see her picture or visit her gravesite in my back yard…..and of course, I alway tear up when I think of my Mom who died 21 years ago.

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    1. I think it’s good to grieve for those you love.

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  3. As you know, reading this book helped me immensely. If someone had told me, here’s a sad book, read it, I’d have passed. But these were stories of women and horses, and I am powerfully drawn to those stories, and drawn into the stories. I shed a few tears reading them, and then was able to look at my own hard year, and shed tears for it, too. That was a catharsis I needed, and the whole experience has left me able to feel again. You all really dug deep for the truth, and truth heals. Thank you for being so brave. I know it had to be painful.

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    1. I loved your review so much. I shared it with my fellow authors and they were so happy to see it.

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  4. Replies
    1. I think the same of you. Although, you probably don’t feel incredible- same as me.

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  5. I still cry over a horse I lost in 1998. I agree with you, it's okay to feel sad about sad things. Hopefully with the sad come all the wonderful memories too though. I can't wait to read your book!

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  6. I am sorry your loss still hurts, and never goes away. A friend once told me, it shows that there was so much true love.

    Congrats on getting ink, and having the courage to share your story on a wider permanent platform. After reading Linda's review, I plan to read Riding Through It.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for your kind words. They really do help. And I hope you enjoy the book.

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