This date is always hard for me.
|my all time favourite photo. d'Arcy and
Steele are gone but Irish is still here
I guess anniversaries always are. While I wouldn't blame you for thinking it's been 7 years are you still honestly crying over it? the answer is yes, I sometimes still cry over the loss of my horse.
For the record I still cry over the loss of my dogs and family members. Even friendships that I've lost. The older I get the more I allow myself to feel sadness for things that are, well, sad.
Writing the book chapter this summer was hard. I had numerous tears and had to leave it for a bit and then come back to it. Editing it was really hard. I wanted to just leave it alone. It felt like I was picking a scab. But it also felt cathartic. Re-writing about it allowed me to deal with emotions that I simply was unable to handle at the time. It allowed me to see how much love there was and to appreciate that part of my journey.
It seems fitting that the books arrived the day before the anniversary of Steele's death. It feels right. My story is now out there and there's no way to stop it. I know that it was on my blog but that still felt within my control. I could delete it whenever I wanted. And it's part of a larger work of women who found their way with horses despite everything. It's a good project to be part of.
For those of you who ordered a book from me- those will be sent out this week. Shirley, at Ride a Good Horse, won the draw for a free copy and I will send it out this week too.