And the reality check that things cannot always be unicorns and rainbows.
I've been riding since my last post and also, some days, just lunging. Goals for the rides have largely been:
1. working towards helping her relax while not backing down from my ask. Which is what I used to do. I would assume I was doing it 'wrong' and maybe I was but really it just taught her to be escalate (not that i did that all the time but should we talk about intermittent reinforcement schedules? Nah, let's just say we did).
2. Being careful with my aids so that I reward when she responds and that I don't nag with my aids or hang with my hands.
3. oh yeah, and work on adjustability in her stride and transitions off my seat. You know, dressage sutff.
And it seems to be working. I am very black and white- this is acceptable. this is not. Some rides it takes a long time for to sigh and then just relax into the work. There is a lot of praise for that. Yesterday she was cranky from the get go and really wanted to hang on the rein and pull me along. We did a lot of 'follow the rein' and 'no, I'm not going to fight'. It becomes like a switch- one minute she's rampaging around and the next minute she gives this big sigh, drops her head and everything relaxes.
 |
| turns out you can order this on Amazon. Or buy it life size like I did..... |
The key is very similar to raising teenage girls. Don't get sucked into the drama and do not agree that that bush is highly suspicious. Stay calm and relaxed. Which is easy to say but harder when you are riding 1100+ pounds of mare who's telegraphing that she's about to launch into the next county. But doing so keeps the pot on a simmer and not a roiling boil. And training is often just putting in the miles and on task.
Today I rode and she started tight but was trying really hard to listen. We had some great work at teh walk so we headed out to hack. At first she was tight again but soon was on the buckle. Of course Irish led the whole way. For those who think I should hack more, I'd love to but I only do it with someone. I don't have wide open spaces to deal with a bolt- instead I would be in a tree or down a gully and I don't fancy that.
I think I just need to persevere. I suspect hormones are causing some problems. I don't think it's ulcers because A. I work hard on prevention and B. she gets better in the ride not worse.
Starting tomorrow I'm on 2 weeks vacation which will be wonderful. I am headed off to a trail clinic this weekend and I'm looking forward to getting Mike and Nikki's perspective too.
ugh mares are so hard. glad it's maybe been getting better, but man... sometimes i wish it was easier haha. trail clinic sounds awesome tho - get pictures!
ReplyDeleteYeah me too. The days it’s good are so good. Which is why I keep going.
DeleteGlad you are still working at things with Carmen. And man, are mares always so tricky? I've now owned a mare for a month after 99% geldings and I'm a little worried I'm in over my head! lol
ReplyDeleteHope you have a good time at the clinic and hope you can get us some pics!
No, mares are awesome. Carmen’s sire is known for sensitive offspring. I don’t know that she’d be easier as a gelding lol
DeleteI was going to ask you if maybe she was in season? Mares can be so tough! But I think you're doing all the right things. Hopefully she comes through this phase sooner than later!
ReplyDeleteFingers crossed.
DeleteI love the evil/nice plush toy! Too funny! Sounds like you have a good plan. My last horse was a Hanoverian mare who lived to 27 and I owned her 22 years. She taught me so much but it wasn't always easy learning. Mares!
ReplyDeleteI am learning a ton. And she stops me from getting cocky.
DeleteI was thinking about you and Carmen today some more. When I took Tex to the wonderful trainer that helped me help him to trust, she said something that made a lot of sense and that I come back to a lot. She said horses who have a “past” have wired their brains for preservation and developed their own coping mechanisms (bolt, etc) that work for them. It takes lots and lots of repetition to get solid new wires in their brains that tell them they can relax and trust. But, the old wires never completely go away and when under stress (heat?) they will return. You just pick back up where you left off. You are already doing all of this but I know it helped me to have an explanation and it helps me have more patience with Tex when he has a spooky day.
ReplyDeleteThat is an excellent perspective. Thank you.
DeleteI love the unicorn plush. Pretty much life with mares. ;)
ReplyDeleteI like your goals and should write out and be more concrete with mine. I have spent so much time being wishy washy, nagging, and just kind of all over the place that I can't really blame the horses for not responding when I don't always ask the same way or expect the same results.
Thanks for sharing your adventures. Basically a collaborative learning experience. ;)
The unicorn plush is so spot on. I suspect that whoever developed it has some experience. :) Blogland is definitely a collaboration. :)
DeleteI read that comment from Oak Creek Ranch and I'm sure it was helpful for you. Have a great vacation.
ReplyDeleteIt was helpful.
DeleteIs there any pattern to the behaviour that would fit her cycles or heat? Maybe there is a way to help her manage the symptoms with an herb or medication?
ReplyDeleteI do have her on chaste tree berry and it definitely helps
DeleteSome days the good moments with mares are the only motivating thing through the bad moments. But goodness gracious are those good moments incredible!! If I had the chance at another mare vs. a gelding one day, I really don't know what decision I'd make. The challenging days can really suck.
ReplyDeleteYou are not kidding!
DeleteI definitely prefer geldings because mares seem so mercurial in comparison (except the odd mare now and again that I absolutely adore) but yeah this is never the fun stuff to blog about or ride through but we gotta in order to get to the fun-er stuff. chin up!
ReplyDelete