dancing horses

dancing horses

Friday, June 5, 2020

Excuse Me While I Get Off My High Horse

I've been really struggling with what to write these days. I have some things to write about but they all seem so trite right now. Like anyone with a scrap of morals, I was appalled to see white cops murder a black man in broad daylight; seemingly oblivious to the crime they were committing. (also, if you want to argue with as to whether it was a crime, just fuck off).

honestly, why is this even a bone of contention? The fact that it
has to be said and that others react negatively to it says more about them and
the reason as to why it has to be said in the first case 
I am a middle aged white woman (or I am if you believe that I will live to be 112 lol, but whatever). while I have faced many challenges because I am female (from the ridiculous to the irritating to the downright frightening and everything in between), I have not had to deal with people viewing me as a threat because of the colour of my skin.

So I haven't written anything. I wasn't sure what to write or even if I had anything new to say.

Or if I had the right.

Because I am older (and hopefully more mature) I let things simmer in my mind a bit to see what comes out. Then I saw a post on FB by Lysette. She is a black equestrian hunter jumper rider. She also has this beautiful horse that I'd love to see her do dressage with, but I digress......
feeling the need to break up the text with an old photo. 

Here's the story. And yes I am about to call out an old white equestrian named Denny Emerson. Hang on, the why will become apparent in a moment. You see, Danny wrote a post on his FB page decrying the lack of diversity in the horse world and how we should all do better. It was nicely written and spot on.

Except it turned out to be just that. You see, Lysette challenged him to reach out and do more with his platform to highlight black equestrians. it was apparent that that made him uncomfortable and he responded that he really didn't know any black horse people. So she challenged him again (politely) and he basically told her to shut  up or he would block her. If you want to see it- here it is:


I'm pretty sure he missed the total irony of his telling a young black woman to shut up while he was decrying the racial bias in his sport. 

This post is not to encourage anyone to pile on Danny. I am writing it because I think it underlines that words are not enough. And that we are uncomfortable as white people doing more. Maybe because we don't know what to do. Or because we worry we'll do the wrong thing? Or we're old and tired. There are many reasons. None of them really any good. 

Like the meme going around says, it's not enough to be non-racist anymore. We have to be anti-racist. 

I always say that I more happy with the 'wrong' answer from Carmen than no answer. Because that means she's trying. So I need to do the same. I often say that Nova Scotia is largely white. And maybe it is. But also I need to recognize that we still a very segregated province with the majority of our black citizens living together in neighbourhoods. Either because we forced them to or for safety (likely both).  I grew up in a culture that was subtly or not-so-subtly racist. I recognized the more obvious ones but missed a lot of the small ones. 

When I think back, I knew only one black equestrian. I never thought about it before. If I had I think I would have reached the conclusion that it was because of the disparity of population. Clearly that is wrong. white people are not more likely to lovely horses than people of other colours. That makes no sense. I think that we need to reach out to encourage others to explore their love of horses. 

I also need to stop saying 'we'. That distributes the responsibility and dilutes it. I need to do more. I need to work actively to make the world a safer place for others. And, in total honesty, I don't really know how. Where do I start? I do know that I am no longer going to look the other way at racist comments, jokes or barbs. 

I am going to do some thinking about this and seek out ideas from others. 

________

I also want to say that Lysette has no idea that I wrote this post. I am going to reach out to her and if she wants me to I will take it down. 

26 comments:

  1. Yea Denny really.... missed it with those replies. “You do your thing and I’ll do mine” is the exact attitude that allows the systemic lack of representation and diversity in equestrian sports in particular to continue. The threat of actually silencing her voice by blocking just bc she challenged him too.... like. Yea. Denny. That is actually THE problem buddy....

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    1. I am so tired of these old white men. Also, tired of middle aged white women who scream they need a haircut or that a black family barbecuing warrants a 911 call.....

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  2. Oh my god... I want to laugh except it's so bad. His isn't the only comment that completely missed the point of the thread.

    This post was really great, and exactly sums up how I feel/am trying to approach things. It felt like it wasn't my 'right' to speak up... and it's not my right but my responsibility. Thanks for sharing!

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    1. I like that phrase- it's not my right, it's my responsibility.

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  3. Oh holy shit. I wish I could say I was suprised but...wow, Denny. that was a pretty darn mild rebuke, too.

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    1. I know. No one is more sensitive than an old white man who thinks he walks on water.

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  4. That exchange between L and Denny CLEARLY illustrates the problem. And it highlights that so many white people are willing to say something once, but make no effort to actually DO anything. I also need to do more.

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  5. Yeah I think this just once again proves that a lot of the old guard when it comes to horses needs to go (oh goodness we have so many in HJ land that have got to get kicked out forever)

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  6. He has deleted the thread the comments were in, good thing I screenshot it! I wonder if its possible to get a CND over facebook comments?

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    1. Nothing like whitewashing his image. He also posted another 'holier than though' post on his page. I was giving him time to see if he learned anything. But nope. So I have unfollowed.

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  7. Thank you for posting this Teresa. I'm trying to come up with words to express how I feel with everything that's going on and also why your post rings so sincerely with me.

    It's because you listen and you always have. You have made an effort for as long as I have known you, and that speaks volumes. It doesn't take the murder of a black man and riots all over the US to make you prick your ears and *now* decide that maybe you should educate yourself. Late is better than never for some, yes. But it is grating to see people that voted for this president talk about how they have never been racist, and others that claimed they were incapable of "flowery feelings like empathy" when trying to educate them on racism and prejudice, now feigning intense interest in the subject by posting publicly on the subject. I suspect within 2 weeks those individuals will have lost interest, because that is a part of their privilege. It doesn't affect the entirety of their lives in this country like it does so many of us, so they can actually choose to forget about it.

    I want people to put their vote where they claim their support really is this coming November. Because if a person claims to not be racist here and still votes for the president that has been actively instigating the current situation from the time he was touring the country with his rallies, well...actions speak louder than words.

    Racism and prejudice ***need*** to stop. But it is an effort that will take far longer than the two months it took for everyone here to become bored with the pandemic, and I am afraid that the new allies to this cause will also become bored before November rolls around. It's just the unfortunate reality of the United States: Americans have a short attention span. My greatest hope is that the current protests, which remind me so much of the ones we had in Puerto Rico to get Ricky Rossello (the governor) to resign (it worked!), will have a similar effect here. But that takes a whole lot of determination that I'm not sure this country has.

    As for Denny's response to L: that is absolutely appalling, and also further highlights my stance on a number of white people claiming to be supportive when in fact they are not. Thank you for showing the thread; he has deleted his responses!

    And from the bottom of my heart: thank you for listening.

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    1. Thank you for this. I really care about this subject a lot. And I don't want to be another white woman trying to do good but actually being condescending. Which is probably why I have not done what I should.

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  8. Thanks for sharing, what a joke of a response he gave. I actually follow his page on Facebook, but I'm off to delete him now.

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    1. I did too. No interest in someone just looking to rant at others but not take a look at themselves.

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  9. <3 I'm also having a hard time finding words, but have definitely been doing a lot of thinking and reflecting.

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  10. Sadly this is what Denny always does with "hard" or "controversial" topics. He writes some waxing soliloquy about a grand idea (usually painting himself as the patron saint of said idea), and if anyone does ANYTHING except pat him on the back and tell him how wonderful he is, he goes on the defensive. He's blocked soooooooooooooo many people that dared question the Supreme Ruler that is Denny. Clearly we're there to listen, not to speak or question. It's sad to see him do this even on a topic as important as this, but I wish I could say I was surprised. But hey... maybe it'll help more people see the truth about him. He's actually even worse than incident this shows, to be honest. It's well past time that we (collective we) cancelled him.

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    1. I learned so much about him in this one post. Before I would just causally check his page and like a few things. No more.

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  11. I agree with everything in your post. What gets me, too, is when people say “white lives matter.” Well, duh. But lets finish the sentences... “Black lives matter as much as white lives.” True and it is a said comment that we STILL aren’t there. The reverse, “white lives matter as much as black lives” is a joke. There is no issue with while lives mattering “as much” they are already privileged. So just shut up already.

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    1. Yes, this. When I hear 'all lives matter' etc I just want to slap that person with a fish.

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  12. I'll give Denny credit for speaking on the issue since he has a large platform, and he has made posts about diversity and access many times in the past, but it's kind of like a Missy Clark situation. Giving yourself credit for being personally not racist while refusing to challenge the systems that disenfranchise others makes you useless.

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    1. Words without action may have an impact, at least in maybe changing things. I was irritated by his deliberately shutting down a block woman in a way that was not proportional to her post. It gave me the impression that it was more about promoting himself than the issue.

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