Servant For Sale

Hello Bloggers, Carmen here. It is with great sadness that I announce that I have to rehome my servant.

see how sad I am? 

There have just been too many times that she has not demonstrated the care and attention that I expect from my help.

Not so long ago she disappeared for months. She said it was something called 'vacation' and that it was only for 7 days, but I don't trust her sense of time as much as my own.

Yes, the male servant stepped up. While he is diligent he does not seem to be as worried about my emotional well being as the female servant.

Yes she returned and has been making sure that I have the optimal blanket for the temperature and has brushed me numerous times.

But still. She left. Making up for it after does not count.

I could (possibly) have forgiven that (but never forget, I am a mare after all) but then I am sure she is responsible for the latest outrage.

Irish has free access to hay in his stall. I have to pick mine from this thing called a 'slow feed hay net'. It is a frustrating device that limits the speed at which I can consume my hay. It is not fair.

I am a clever mare though and have learned how to eat from it very efficiently. It seems too efficiently. Because last night I came into the stall to find this:

Look at those holes! They are tiny. A gerbil couldn't get anything from this monstrosity.

I tried to tell her how upset this has made me:

She just gave me a pat and said 'don't worry honey, it will be better because it will make the hay last longer overnight.'

Can you believe it?! I told her that what would make the hay last longer is MORE HAY but she didn't seem to understand that. She did throw a half a flake in my stall to keep the hunger pains at bay but still. 

If you think I'm exaggerating look at this:

How on earth am I supposed to get sustenance from this? (Irish stop snickering!)

The hypocrisy is unbelievable. She recently posted on FB that she was out to dinner:

do you see this covered with mesh? No, you do not. 

I didn't want it to come to this. I really didn't. But I have spent enough time trying to teach her and 'rewarding the try'. At some point you have to say enough is enough.

I spent a hungry night composing the sales ad. Tell me what you think:

Experienced Servant for sale:

Average height, mature, female servant for your consideration. Understands basic horse care including grooming, keep regular feed schedule and turn out. Not stingy with treats. Worries a fair amount about a horse's weight and manipulates feeding to compensate. Sometimes has ideas above her station and wants to ride and even show. However, with patience these things could probably be trained out of her. 

Requires an experienced horse, beginners need not apply. 

Good home preferred. 

Once I have found a home for her I will post an ad looking for her replacement. If you think you can fill her position send along a resume (attached to carrots) and I will review and, possibly, set up an interview. 

Sincerely

Princess Charlante of Oakfield Farm

________________________

Who does she think she's kidding?

 Honey, neither one of us are going anywhere. You will be fine and it will feel better to not start the season off over weight. Plus I noticed that all the hay was gone from the net this morning so you clearly figured it out. 

I may have to, though, start putting a net over my food..... I will take that under advisement. 

Your Servant

Teresa.....