dancing horses

dancing horses

Sunday, February 17, 2019

Servant For Sale

Hello Bloggers, Carmen here. It is with great sadness that I announce that I have to rehome my servant.
see how sad I am? 
There have just been too many times that she has not demonstrated the care and attention that I expect from my help.

Not so long ago she disappeared for months. She said it was something called 'vacation' and that it was only for 7 days, but I don't trust her sense of time as much as my own.

Yes, the male servant stepped up. While he is diligent he does not seem to be as worried about my emotional well being as the female servant.

Yes she returned and has been making sure that I have the optimal blanket for the temperature and has brushed me numerous times.

But still. She left. Making up for it after does not count.

I could (possibly) have forgiven that (but never forget, I am a mare after all) but then I am sure she is responsible for the latest outrage.

Irish has free access to hay in his stall. I have to pick mine from this thing called a 'slow feed hay net'. It is a frustrating device that limits the speed at which I can consume my hay. It is not fair.

I am a clever mare though and have learned how to eat from it very efficiently. It seems too efficiently. Because last night I came into the stall to find this:


Look at those holes! They are tiny. A gerbil couldn't get anything from this monstrosity.

I tried to tell her how upset this has made me:


She just gave me a pat and said 'don't worry honey, it will be better because it will make the hay last longer overnight.'

Can you believe it?! I told her that what would make the hay last longer is MORE HAY but she didn't seem to understand that. She did throw a half a flake in my stall to keep the hunger pains at bay but still. 

If you think I'm exaggerating look at this:

How on earth am I supposed to get sustenance from this? (Irish stop snickering!)

The hypocrisy is unbelievable. She recently posted on FB that she was out to dinner:

do you see this covered with mesh? No, you do not. 

I didn't want it to come to this. I really didn't. But I have spent enough time trying to teach her and 'rewarding the try'. At some point you have to say enough is enough.

I spent a hungry night composing the sales ad. Tell me what you think:

Experienced Servant for sale:
Average height, mature, female servant for your consideration. Understands basic horse care including grooming, keep regular feed schedule and turn out. Not stingy with treats. Worries a fair amount about a horse's weight and manipulates feeding to compensate. Sometimes has ideas above her station and wants to ride and even show. However, with patience these things could probably be trained out of her. 

Requires an experienced horse, beginners need not apply. 
Good home preferred. 

Once I have found a home for her I will post an ad looking for her replacement. If you think you can fill her position send along a resume (attached to carrots) and I will review and, possibly, set up an interview. 

Sincerely
Princess Charlante of Oakfield Farm
________________________
Who does she think she's kidding?

 Honey, neither one of us are going anywhere. You will be fine and it will feel better to not start the season off over weight. Plus I noticed that all the hay was gone from the net this morning so you clearly figured it out. 

I may have to, though, start putting a net over my food..... I will take that under advisement. 

Your Servant
Teresa.....






43 comments:

  1. “Do you see this covered in mesh?” Hahahahahahha!!! This is hilarious.

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  2. 😂😂😂😂 👏👏👏👏👏

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  3. Hehehe this post is hilarious!!!! ��

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  4. Again with LOL, "Do you see this covered in mesh" !!!

    And "What would make the hay last longer is MORE HAY."

    I am having the same issue with a skinny Arab and a fat donkey. Both get only nets, and the horse gets extra nets hung high enough that hte donkey cannot reach them at night.

    What do you do when they are together, eating? I hate to separate my animals but a friend pointed at Mag's ribs and backbone today.

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    1. Irish and her do okay during the day sharing the hay. At night they are separated so it’s easier.

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  5. We have the same problem here with Rosie. Her hay net has been stitched so she can only have half a net at night. Mind you these nets are huge but she's been chowing down all day in the hay baskets so a little less at night is called for before she's rolling down the aisle instead of walking! Unfortunately, to her it is an OUTRAGE and the UNIVERSE is against her! She and Carmen should get together and trash their servants. I'm sure she'd put me up for sale if she thought it was possible. Carmen is hysterical and I love the commentary.

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    1. There’s nothing worse than an outraged mare when you mess with their food. 😁

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  6. Ha Ha wait til she learns to chew a hole in it like my guy did - I hope she finds you a nice home :P

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    1. I have fixed a few holes in nets because of her! I expect the same with this.

      Is your guy looking for an extra servant? .😉 Australia sounds nice right now.

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  7. Hilarious! My andi is very upset when Im gone for more than a few days. It requires mucho grooming to get him connected again.

    And we went through a long period with a haynet. But he got too fat despite the mesh. So he is back to controlled feedings. Always wants more.

    Welcome back!
    Nat

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    1. Thanks. These horses have far too much personality!

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  8. Ha ha ha!

    I won a couple of slow feed nets a couple of years ago, one of which has the 1" holes. I can't decide if I should sell it or keep it as a future torture device!

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    1. Or you could put it in the mail....😎
      It’s good to have them in case you need them.

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  9. HA HA HA HA HA this is so perfect. Carmen is a lot like Dreamy, who has Big Opinions about how she is taken care of as well. How dare you use a tiny mesh hay feeder hahahahaha. Thankfully Ellie is the rare sweetheart of a mare who thinks everything is good as long as there are cookies. Thanks for a good chuckle this morning!

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    1. Yes, she has lots of opinions. I am so very mean. But it has slowed her intake which was the goal. So I’m counting it as a win.

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  10. This is great! lol I feel like mares and cats share the same type of personality.

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  11. lol poor Carmen, it's so hard to get good help these days!!!

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  12. This is hilarious! And I think probably super accurate. Haha!

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  13. This is hilarious, and probably pretty accurate! hahaha!

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  14. Oh man does she look ever so disgruntled at the new hay net. So much sass!

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  15. I REALLY laughed at her rage eating from the new net. Hhahah oh man, thanks for the chuckle.

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  16. Replies
    1. She might want to. Now that she's finding her voice.

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  17. Thanks for the laugh! I think my horses would like to replace me with someone that has not discovered slow feeders too!

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    1. They do not seem to appreciate the efforts (and expense) that we go to for their well-being!

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