Creature Comforts

 Thank you everyone for your kind words and sympathy for Guinness' passing. It helps. I still find myself looking for him but not as much. He was a grand dog and we miss him. Cordelia and chickens. One thing that was a bit overwhelming was what to do with his body. In the past our pets have been cremated and it was part of the overall euthanasia. We were unsure what to do with him dying at home. Friends told us who to call and Ed was able to transport his remains to the person who does the cremation. He's now back home. 

However, no matter how I feel there are animals that need to be cared for. I find comfort in the routines of looking after the horses, Cordelia is doing much better and returning to her normal bouncy self. Animals are much more resilient when it comes to death I think. She's definitely sticking close to me and I'm doing my best to keep her with me. When I can't, Ed is staying with her. Our walks are different without Guinness but are starting to feel more normal. I signed her up for agility in the new year and I think she'll enjoy that.  Cordelia was out keeping Ed company while he put up the outside Christmas decorations. I was riding but heard her barking. After I asked him what was going on and he said that she was backing at the Grinch. Which, let's be honest, is kinda adorable. 

Cordelia: "There will be no stealing of Christmas. 
Not on my watch. No-Siree-Bob!"

The weather has been pretty awful- high winds, cold, rain, and so much cloudiness. Finally, this week there have been some breaks which allowed me to squeeze some rides in. Quaid, after some time off was not so sure at this 'return to work' thing but it's been fine. I've been taking it a bit slow. Probably too slow but I'm not pushing myself. I hadn't felt like riding before so it's nice to want to ride again. He's still on the antibiotics but they will be finished Saturday. We're both excited for that. 

Hey Quaid, look pretty for the camera!
Quaid: 'okey-dokey'

My rides on Carmen have been interesting. I've been keeping on with the getting her to stretch out her neck and relax. I find it's getting easier every ride and it feels like she's also searching for that too. I mean she's still Carmen but with  softer edges. 

Hey Carmen, look pretty for the camera!
Carmen: 'how about bored?'

Both are easy to catch in the field. Probably because I always give them a treat when I put the halter on. Quaid likes to try and sneak one even if he's not the one being haltered. It makes me laugh. Don't tell me that Carmen is not tolerant!

Quaid: 'oh hai. I also like apples'. 

In other news, I think Henry is going to be seeing HR. This morning Cordelia and I were cleaning stalls when suddenly Diana came running through the barn yelling her head off with Henry in fast pursuit. We looked outside and there was Henry now flirting and trying to mount Penelope who just kept shaking him off while she was foraging. He looked quite put out by the whole thing. Diana was standing there looking outraged. I told her that since she was always going broody she should probably have some sex to fertilise her eggs. She looked appalled at this information. 

Henry: why won't anyone love me? 

Losing Guinness was devastating. And life continues to go on. I believe that that is a good thing. Not in a cold way but in a 'love carries on' way. I wish I could explain this better but the words are escaping me.  That's okay, sometimes it's enough just to breathe. 

Not Ready Yet

 I've been working in my head on a blog post. It was going to be about Carmen and how interesting (in a good way) our rides have been. However, it all changed with the sudden and unexpected loss of Guinness. 

my favourite puppy picture of him

Ed and I are still reeling from the loss and trying to make sense of it. On Thursday he was completely normal. We walked, he helped with chores and chased his ball.  That night he was really restless. I took him out a few times and I even got a little cranky with him. He finally settled and we all went to sleep. 

from a couple days ago

In the morning he couldn't walk. I got him standing and he was unable to stay up. I carried him downstairs because I didn't want him to fall trying to get down on his own. I knew things were bad and I needed to call the vet. I also knew that he wasn't going to come home from the vet. I was sure that I'd have to take him to the emergency vet that was 90 minutes away (where he had his surgery a few weeks ago). I really wanted to take him to the vet he's had all his life so I decided to call them first to see if I could get him in. 

Cordelia wouldn't leave his side

We never had the chance. He died 30 minutes later. I'm not going to share the details of that. It was hard. I believe by then he was out of it and it was hard on us, not for him. Had I put him in the car to take to the city he'd have died in the back all alone. Instead he passed surrounded by Ed, myself and Cordelia. 

He was 7. I think he had either a tumour that bled out or an aneurysm. I do not believe it was related in any way to his surgery. 

Like I said we are all in mourning. We were not expecting to lose him so soon and like this. Cordelia has been by one of us since it happened. I keep expecting him to pop up to go for a walk or get a treat. 

He loved the snow

Guinness was a great 'uncle' to Cordelia, even 
when she stole his toys. 

Cordelia needing some extra snuggles

What else is there to say? I loved him. He's gone. I miss him. 

Good bye G. You were the best. 

Rebranding

First of all, thank you everyone for the kind words about Quaid. He's responding really well to the medication and seems like his old (young) self. He's perky and hungry and wants me to do things with him again. It's a nice thing to see. 

 Longtime readers of this blog know that Carmen and I have come a long way. They also know that there is always a certain amount of tension between us when she's being ridden. It is rare that I don't feel a need to manage her emotions or direct her feet. 

To be honest, I have accepted that as part of our relationship. It's not even that the tension is necessarily a bad thing. Sure, sometimes she's agitated or reactive. Other times she's forward and just wants to go.  But it always feels like there's a certain level of push and pull between us and that is how we find our balance. 

In our last lesson I was blown away by how relaxed she was by the end. I think she was too. When I have been able to ride I've been trying to recreate it by following what we were doing in the last lesson. I've been asking her to flex but softly and slowly and then releasing the same way. I can feel it working and it's neat to add this our sessions.  

I had a lesson last Sunday and we picked up from where we left off. Jane had me suppling her by getting her to move her body through various gymnastic exercises: leg yield across the arena, shoulder in to straight, shoulder in to renvers, shoulder in to haunches in, shortening the walk and then letting her out again. Jane would call me on every time I held too much because Carmen's mouth would gape. I had to have my legs on but not hard. 

shoulder in

Doing all this took a lot of focus on both our parts. It felt like I was making adjustments every stride (or half-stride). But man did it pay off. Jane noted that I was much better at keeping her rhythm steady and fixing it before (or at the same time) she had to tell me. I wasn't always aware that I was doing it so that's good. 

As we worked I would give her opportunities to stretch out her neck, rebalance if she fell on her forehand and sped up and then repeat. The goal was for it to all just be smooth. No sharp aids. A couple times I had to bring her down to halt because she wasn't listening to my half-halt but it wasn't harsh. 

offering a softening of the rein to invite her to stretch a bit

Without going into mind numbing detail, it was a bit of a mind-blowing experience for both of us. There was this one moment when her shoulder-in felt so effortless that I was just in the moment and totally forgot to listen to Jane. 

Jane: did you hear what I said?

Me: oops, no, sorry I was just enjoying this so much. It's not that I didn't hear you, I just wasn't listening. 

Fortunately for me, Jane has a sense of humour and was not annoyed.  At another point Carmen and I did a circle and then headed up the long side. It felt like moving anything on my body a millimetre was telling her to do something. She was soft and forward and 100% balanced. 

We both freaked out. 

Carmen: what is happening, this feels so weird. 

Me: I know! 

So I halted her and just let us breathe for a second. And I'm not making it up that that's how she was feeling. I swear. It was like we were totally communicating.  We took a beat and then carried on.  There were times when she fell behind the vertical, but not to avoid contact, and I was trying hard to help her reach to the contact but not drive. 

behind, but also reaching?

I don't even know if I'm explaining it right.  It's not even that I was perfect. I really was not. But all the work we've been doing seems to be coming together. There was another moment when I said to Jane I can't hear you. 

That's because I didn't say anything, I'm just watching. Do you know how rare it is for Jane to not have a correction/suggestion/advice? Like this is the first time ever. 

flow-y canter, 10/10 stars

We finished with a lovely, balanced counter canter. We stopped and discussed and then Jane said 'we do more but look at her, I just want to leave her here. Like how much more could she give us? 

I was in total agreement. I think our ride was around 50 minutes, it felt like forever and also five minutes. Jane thinks that this is getting unlocked because of the focus I've (finally) put on keeping her rhythm. That makes sense to me. 

How cool is it that we can change our pattern from balance through tension to balance through softness?  I'm sure we'll be tempted to fall back into old patterns but that's horse training for you. If riding/training was easy then everyone would want to do it, lol.  

balanced counter canter

Ticked Off

 So I was thinking the other day that is was time for a Quaid update. As we move further into fall towards winter the number of rides begins to drop off simply because it's too unpleasant. I don't mind so much because I can take advantage of every good weather day. 

look at that adorable face

 I still hate the time change in fall but I'm much less inconvenienced. So yay for not working. 

Ed and I

Anyway, in my rides on Quaid I've been focusing on having him forward and rhythmical. All of his fussing with contact or resisting a transition comes from him not being forward and balanced. When he gets fussy with the contact I make sure my hands are quiet and steady and just ride him forward to find me. I no longer drop the contact because, funnily enough, it turns out that is not helpful to his learning.  Unless I want him to learn to fuss to get me to back off.  

I had one ride where he was bucking in his right lead canter, which was throwing us all off balance. I actually dismounted and worked on the transition on the lunge, then got back on and worked through it. After a couple good transitions I called it a day. 

**side note: I find it amusing that I am amused by Carmen's bucks but not her spooks and it's the total opposite with Quaid....

On Monday I rode him and he was lovely. Responsive to my leg -which I'm really trying to keep quiet and not nag him every stride because this is a trap I fall into with less forward horses. We had a lovely right lead canter depart and kept the canter all the way around the ring. I ended the ride there because I was so happy. 

I took this picture right before I put on his bridle and got on: 

I realised that he's getting a little, ahem, chunky. Which is fine heading into winter but I decided to cut back his feed ration a bit. These Iberian horses can get overweight pretty quickly once they stop growing. I don't think he's stopped growing quite yet but it's definitely slowed down. 

The next day I figured I'd ride Carmen first and decide after if I was going to ride him too. I noticed in the morning that he didn't finish his breakfast but otherwise his stall looked normal and he seemed fine. I let him out and decided to just monitor.  

When I brought Carmen in he was standing, napping in the sun and didn't really care when I took her. Again, not unusual that he doesn't care but he normally comes up to score a cookie (I give my horses a treat when I get the halter on). 

I was riding Carmen but also keeping an eye in the paddock. Quaid hadn't moved. I told myself I was being overreactive and I would just check him after my ride. Then he laid down. At this point, I'd been riding about 15 minutes and 90% of my attention was not on Carmen. I gave it up and dismounted. I put her away and brought Quaid in to check his vital signs. 

I started by trying to find his heart rate. Full disclosure- I suck at it, even with a stethoscope so I gave up. I did check his breathing rate: 20 breaths per minute. A little high for a horse at rest. His gums seemed pale and then I took his temperature: 40.6. Uhoh. That is quite high (about 105 for non-celcius people).  I put him in his stall and brought Carmen in and then called the vet.  You may recall that our local vet clinic no longer does equine services. My new one is about 90 minutes away.  The person answering took my info and told me that someone in equine services would call me back. In the meantime I was worried about his temp so I gave him some Banamine.  After about 40 minutes the vet called and said she was in the area already so would shoot me a text when she was on her way. That was great, while I was prepared to trailer him over it's much better to not stress him with that.  

The vet, Dr. Kate, arrived before 2:00. I was out in the barn. Quaid was a lot perkier and had sweated, probably because of the banamine. We chatted about his symptoms. She took his temperature and it was 38 something. We both had the same thoughts about the diagnosis: Anaplasmosis. 

Ironically enough I had just researched and written an article for it for our local horse magazine. It is a tick-borne bacterial infection. It is all around me and I know of at least 3 horses who have had it this year.  The vet said she treated 6 horses with it last week. The main symptoms are: 

• Fever- typically 39.5-40 C but can go as high as 42.2C. It is usually highest after 5 days of infection. 

• Decreased appetite or refusal to eat

• Reluctance to move

• Limb edema

• Petechia- small, purple dots on the gums and/or skin

• Iceterus- jaundice of the skin, gums and whites of the eyes. 

• Increased heart rate

• Increased breathing rate

 

Quaid had 4 of the symptoms. No swelling and fortunately, no neurological signs (which sometimes happen). Dr. Kate  drew some blood to check for infection (she also showed me how to check his pulse on his jaw. She told me that his heart beat is difficult to detect with the stethoscope, even for her, which made me feel better.  His white blood cell count was a bit high but not as high as you would expect with anaplasmosis. But it was quite possible that I caught it really early and it hadn't had time to get high. We decided to treat it as Anaplasmosis because he had an infection somewhere. 

She did a dose of IV antibiotics and left me with some to give him orally. I'm to text her his temperature and how he's doing every day. Last night at supper time his fever was back up: 40.5 and he wasn't really eating his supper. But he was interested in his hay. I gave him more banamine (he's to get it for 3 days). This morning his temperature was 38.9. He hadn't finished his feed but ate a chunk of his hay. Right now they are still finishing up last year's hay but I've been giving him the current crop.   He's outside and is quite interested in grazing so that is good. 

Dr. Kate texted me today and said she looked at his blood under the microscope and there were some signs of Anaplasmosis but his white blood cell count was not as high as they would expect. She wanted to know if I wanted to run further tests. I asked her if it would change what we're doing and she said not right now. So we decided to wait. If he's not a lot better by Monday then I'll bring him in and we'll run more tests. She'll keep his blood in the fridge so if it needs to be sent off she can do it Monday. 

As always, Quaid is so good with the vets. I held him while she did the IV and fed him cookies. I can check his temp and dose him in his stall with no halter (at least right now).  Keep your fingers crossed that he continues to improve. 

here we go again.....

Honestly, if we could eliminate all the ticks in the universe I would not bat an eye. 

Releasing the Dragon

 Well I've had four lessons in a row and it's been amazing. The last three have been with Carmen. In my recap a couple weeks ago I talked about how we're working on establishing (and keeping!) a steady rhythm. Last week we built on that and worked on flexion and doing transitions from behind rather than her throwing into them with her chest. 

I will love this image by Emma forever
(and my goodness she's lightened up)

It was good work and a great lesson. I can see huge improvements in our transitions. We even did some work on counter canter and it was great. Our first time through I took my leg off and she dropped to canter and then picked up the 'correct' lead. I couldn't be mad, she was clearly helping. 

I did a quick debrief with Jane and we tried again and it was great! Look. how balanced we stayed. 

To the left it was even better. These are the best counter canter loops we've ever done. 

I had a good week practicing encouraging her to stretch her neck and to be soft with her body. As always, it's Carmen so every ride is a new ball of wax. But overall things have been going really well.  

I was excited for this morning's lesson. I thought briefly of doing it with Quaid but decided I wanted to keep the momentum with Carmen going.  After a few unseasonably warm days last week this weekend was more typical. So cool and a bit breezy. Carmen was definitely feeling more challenging and dragon-like. 

Carmen: what part of 'I'm not in the mood' don't you understand
Me: ......oh I understand...

Jane came and immediately honed in our total lack of rhythm. Which I was like 'yeah I know, I keep trying'. 

Jane had us do an exercise of shoulder in a few strides, straighten a few strides, repeat all the way around the ring.  It was really hard because I had to stay soft but firm and keep the reins active, but don't be abrupt. 

but it really worked

It's funny, it felt like a train wreck to be honest. But when I look at clips from the video it wasn't as awful as it felt. As tense as she felt at times I never felt unsafe. 

I also found at times that I was getting lost at what to do but Jane just kept talking me through it and the pieces began to fall into place. 

We finished on the middle 20m circle practicing getting her to flex and soften to the inside while maintaining a light light leg. All my moves had to be slow and deliberate. Carmen's ears began to bob, then her neck began to soften. Like really soften (unfortunately my pivo quit here so no media).  Carmen was completely unsure of this but at the same time she felt like playdoh. The lightest aid made a difference. I have worked with Carmen a long time and I have never felt her this loose.  We finished and I dismounted. Carmen did a number of 'releases' just like horses do after a massage when they let tightness go: she shook her head, blew and yawned and yawned. Her face during this was adorable. Instead of a fire-breathing dragon she looked like a kitten. 

I am fascinated to continue on this path.