Horses are not for the faint of heart. Neither is having your horse at home.
I think that there have been less then 5 times when I have been truly afraid around horses. Adrenalin pumping yes, excited yes, but not really fearful. I have found with Steele that no matter what he's doing around me I can stay calm and cool. This helps him to calm down as well. After all it's no fun if I don't join in. When I could only ride school horses I was often put on the 'new' horses. Not because I am a brilliant rider, I realize now, but because I would stay calm. I found it fun to try to figure out which buttons to push and which to leave alone.
Today Ed and I were going to pick up more hay. Our hay guy told me where it was and told me to go get what I wanted and then pay him later. However, Ed has come down with the flu. So I told him that I would take the truck and get a few bales to tide us over until he felt better. I found the location and the barn. I remember that he told me to 'take the bales on the right'. It is one of those huge barns so common around here. I opened the main doors and went inside. The hay was to the right all right. Except that it was 15 feet up in the loft with a metal ladder being the only way up.
I looked around to see if there were a few bales on the ground floor but nope, there were none. I climbed up the ladder- it rattled as I climbed. Once up to the top I tried to loosen a few but they were jammed in tight.
I climbed down and did some thinking. I had 3 options:
1. go home- give up? NEVER!
2. call Ed and ask him to come out to help. - But he was sooo sick
3. just do it.
I was a wee bit nervous- to do this I had to climb to the top of the ladder, and then move into the loft over the hay bales. If I fell how long before Ed would know I was missing? Then I thought- 'well what would you do if Ed wasn't around? Would you get rid of the horses?
So that decided it. I climbed up to the top, hooked my arm over the wooden beam, grabbed onto a bale of hay (giving a few tugs to make sure it was tight) and hauled myself into the loft. I then threw down the bales, making sure that I moved the ones blocking entry back into the ladder. I then hooked my arm back over the beam, swung back onto the ladder and made my way down.
After I was down, it dawned on me- I hadn't been scared at all. Just careful.
Perhaps my mom shouldn't read this- I'll be in trouble. And I promise that I won't do it without Ed to hold the ladder next time.