It has crossed my mind a few times too.
I don't know that I have a good reason that would make my reader go 'oooh, that makes PERFECT sense'.
Part of it is my own inner nature that hates to give up on things. Like ever. Like drove my mother crazy and probably Ed now.
|yes we are cantering to that corner, no we're not gonna die,|
Yes I am serious. No you can't run away.
While you can see all the tension in her here you can also see
how fit she's become.
Part of it is that I can do things like this and there is no worry:
All this tells me that she's not without hope.
That somewhere in there is a sensible and brave horse who can think and be reasonable.
In our lesson today I spoke to Shanea and told her how I've been feeling. What I love about Shanea is that she doesn't try to talk me out of how I feel but acknowledges that legitimacy of those feelings without making me feel like a sucky rider.
Our lesson today was awesome, mostly. It gives me confidence that I can help her through this crap she's pulling right now.
|really happy with this halt|
|ignore the open mouth, she wasn't pulling so perhaps she was chomping?|
I don't know if she 'loves' me but I do know that she is attached and trusts me. And for now that is enough.
We head to our last show tomorrow and it really could go either way. But the only way to get comfortable to show is to go to shows. So we will go and see what happens. I do have my goals set, which can be summed up as 'ride the damn horse and don't give up'. That may involve alcohol.
I don't know what that makes me but I'm okay with being called stubborn.....