A few weeks ago I had made plans to go visit Karen with Carmen but it didn't happen because there was a snow storm. We made a new plan for this past weekend and this time the weather cooperated with sunny skies and warmish temperatures.
I loaded Carmen up in the afternoon. She was a bit nervous about it but loaded obediently. When we got there she still seemed a little tense and I joked to Karen that I suspect I would be paying for this. However, she was really good in the arena that night when I rode. I made plan to have a lesson the next day with Karen and was excited.
pretty chill here |
When I put her back in her stall she was pretty good until Kalimo came in. She became quite aggressive looking at him through the bars of the windows (they are up high, not at eye level). They have been beside each other before and I figured she would settle. The next morning we didn't need to hurry. There was barn help to feed and muck the stalls. Honestly, it felt like a vacation. We arrived shortly after eight and I was shocked to see that Carmen was a ball of nerves. Her stall looked like she had a rave in it the night before. And she was coated in dried sweat and ground in manure from the stall.
Guinness: let me re-enact how Carmen looked! |
I was pretty sure that she would be at red alert during our ride. As I began to groom her and work out all the muck she began to relax and settle down. I tacked her up and took her into the arena to start out ground work. Like the night before I did all of our ground work with her at liberty. I really enjoy that because it lets me know how connected we are. After the ground work I mounted and began to walk around.
Karen came in and asked how she was doing. I said "she's nervous but trying really hard to listen". I know I said more words than that but I don't remember them now. "And how are you doing?" Karen asked me. And I was at a loss for words. I mumbled something about being the same as Carmen.
So Karen had me rate myself on a scale of 1-10 where 1 was comatose and 10 was super-excited. I put myself at a 8. My task was then to walk Carmen around, not worrying about what she was doing but to focus on getting myself a little lower on the scale. She had me visualize my energy flow and I told her it felt all knotted up. As I rode I was to visualize the knot being worked at by my fingers loosening it up. That worked - as I went around I could feel myself begin to loosen up and relax.
When I got a level 6 Karen asked me to construct a bubble around myself. I was to make it all around me and make it impervious. That meant that no matter what was thrown at me my emotional level did not change. Mostly what was being thrown at me by Carmen.
After Karen explained why she had me to this (I know it's out of sequence but it will make more sense if I explain it now). Karen noted that I was putting all my focus on how Carmen was feeling and then letting her dictate how I felt. This is so true that it's ridiculous. I've been working on not falling into the emotional spiral with Carmen but it's hard (the mare is pretty committed to her feelings at times).
This was hard but I put my imagination to work and created this clear bubble around me. When Carmen wold get tight and think about reacting (like to the many cats that were popping in and out the arena).
Yes this is the horse that BOLTED from Willow the week before what you can't see are the kittens in the stalls bopping around |
Carmen: don't believe her- I'm never that dirty! |
It warms my soul to see the winter's accumulation of hay, poop and muck gone |
love this! and the idea of the bubble is genius!
ReplyDeleteIt's a great idea. I have since converted it to a more star trek themed 'shields up'. :)
Deletewhat a cool way of explaining things!! i often get caught up with reacting to my horse's emotions instead of letting him get down (or up?) to my level lol... also, omg i would have been so distracted by the KITTENS!!!!
ReplyDeleteIt's been working well for me. I think I've absorbed the 'you need to know how your horse is feeling' without an understanding that I don't have to fall into the same trap.
DeleteGuinness is hilarious. Way way back when I very first had Gem I had an instructor ask me my number on the 1-10 scale and then Gem's. She told me that horse + rider should always equal 10, so if Gemmie came out that day at 8 I better chill myself out and be a 2. On the opposite end if she was sluggish and being a 3, I better bring my own energy to a 7. It stuck with me over a decade later and helps me to refocus myself and not be reactive to the horse under me.
ReplyDeleteThe only issue I have with this approach is that it assumes you have full emotional control and can 'make' yourself be a 2 if you started out at a much highter number. I liked Karen's approach of aiming to lower it bit by bit.
DeleteOh I like this! I have a bad habit of letting the outside influence my inside. It's especially noticeable at the boarding barn where there's a lot of... atmosphere some days.
ReplyDeleteGlad you had a great weekend, sounds like so much fun! And big yay for hubby cleaning out the paddock while you were away!
I hear you on the atmosphere thing. Karen said that when I am comfortable with it I can practice having Carmen in the bubble with me and that will help at things like shows.
DeleteI love love LOOOOVE the visualization techniques Karen showed you in this lesson! I do it involuntarily at work: I create an emotional vacuum where whatever chaos is happening (emergencies coming in, occasional discord between other coworkers) not affect me when I am working directly with the patients in my care. It is already such a stressful environment for the animals: they don't need me to add my own personal stress to the mix! So when I am with x patient, nothing else exists: just that patient. When I move on to the next patient, then that new patient is the only thing that exists in the world. I know it's working when the cats purr/eat for me or try to bump their heads to mine, and the dogs wag their tails: I become a safe person for them.
ReplyDeleteI love Karen's visuals for applying it to riding. I needed this reminder! I tend to get tense in lessons and "forget" how to ride, which of course affects Gracie. Sometimes I lean too heavily on the fact that Gracie doesn't take my stuff personally. Yeah, she doesn't, but it still creates tension in her. Thank you for sharing this!!!
I plan to implement my 'bubble' in other situations too. It seems to be it will be useful.
DeleteNice visualization!
ReplyDeleteIsn't it?
DeleteZen Ninja at work over there, hhaha!!
ReplyDeleteI love the analogy that Karen used - it reminds me a lot of my old coach's analogies when I rode with her. One of the ones I remember was to ride as if I was carrying wine glasses filled to the top, and the other was "squeeze toothpaste out of the tube" to get your horse in front of your leg.
I thought of you and your zen ninja work!! I hope to be like you some day.
DeleteGreat way to get things on track. I am sometimes guilty of worrying how my horse is feeling and how she might react to something, when in reality it's me reacting and not her. I really believe they pick up on our moods and feelings and act accordingly.
ReplyDeleteIt is such a feedback loop
DeleteWow! That is some amazing, golden advice you just shared here. We'll have to all send your trainer a big thank you note. Please continue to remind us about it and drill it into our heads so we never forget. It's hard to separate the two, because our perceived safety is connected to their moods, which causes us to hyper-focus and escalate the mood. But that has to be stressful for our horses to have their energy amplified back at them through us. No one would want that.
ReplyDeleteI will pass along your thanks!! I'm sure she'll appreciate it.
DeleteThat visualisation and naming the number you are at is absolute gold - I can't wait to try it out! And I love that your mare is "committed to her opinions" - it's a 100% representation of my mare. Mares definitely make you a better horse person, right?
ReplyDeleteYou know what they say: 'what doesn't kill us makes us stronger'. I am pretty sure that applies to mares. :)
DeleteMares gonna mare!
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