First of all I want to thank everyone who commented on the blog, on FB and sent me private messages. I was overwhelmed with the support. A lot pointed out that Carmen is a strong willed Iberian mare and she will test me.
|gratuitous vacation pic showing a rock balancing precariously on|
a cliff - which completely describes my mood right now
I realize that part of my breakdown relates back to Steele. I had plans that we were going to show last year and that didn't happen because Carmen needed training. I thought that I was okay with that but I realized that I wouldn't be showing this year it hit me hard. Harder than I expected. It hadn't helped that I recently resumed having the recurring nightmare of horses getting out of the field and running away (I've had this since he died). I'd also been dreaming of my mother. It would seem that I have some emotional issues to work through.....
I spoke to Royce yesterday and gave him he rundown on what's been going on. He's going to come and see 'what I'm dealing with' and then we will make a plan. I like plans. And I'm not afraid of hard work.
Maybe I've been too careful. Who knows? We shall see what happens. The idea of selling her breaks my heart so that will not be an easy decision.