Warning- this might be a bit whiny but I'm trying to not lose heart. My last two rides on Carmen have been less than stellar. Yesterday I rode her in the evening. The bugs were terrible and she had a hard time focusing on me. Fair enough- it was a struggle for me too. When I brought her in the ring she was very distracted and disrespectful of my space which I fixed immediately. I didn't get on her until I had her full attention. Even so she was definitely tense in the corners. But I stayed calm and we rode through it all.
This morning I rode her early as there was to be rain later. On the ground she was fine. I mounted and she was immediately tense. I could get her to relax with my body but only for a bit. It took a lot of work and persuasion to get her into all 4 corners and to work without slamming on the brakes. There was one giant scoot that caused me to tense my legs and grab but I'm cutting myself some slack on that one. I did manage to get relaxed. I stayed with the plan and kept working away. We finished on a good note and I dismounted. I was happy that I worked through it successfully but discouraged that I had to work through it at all.
I believe that I'm on the right path but am feeling a bit frustrated and am worried that we're going backwards. I have started her on a Magnesium supplement and we'll see if that makes a difference. I suspect the increased calories with the grass is not helping and I've cut back on her feed.
I also heard back from the show secretary which was essentially if I withdraw my entry and re submit she will still charge the incomplete entry form. And she won't process my entry until she receives my check. She does have my class list and my information- she's missing the signed 'person responsible' page, the photocopy of my memberships and my stable request. I still don't know what happened. That's fine. What hurt my feelings was that she did not trust that I would bring the check with me. The reason that hurt is that I started this organization and it was all about supporting people in the sport. When it was almost driven into the ground I came back and a group of us brought it back from the brink of bankruptcy. I left the board after Steele passed away because I didn't have the heart for it. They asked me to come back this year and I agreed. I have put hours of my time and miles on my car working for this organization and it seems to not matter at all. I didn't volunteer in order to get thanks or praise but it still seems a bit cold to me. But whatever. I've been through worse then not being trusted. But I'm wondering if maybe the universe is telling me I shouldn't go to the show?
We'll see. I have until June 4 (the closing) to decide. If I withdraw after that I need a doctor's or vet certificate. Sigh.
On a positive note this is a present that I got from Ed. I love it- it's powerful and light weight. Much better then the power drill that I was using.
|A girl needs her power tools|