Warning- this might be a bit whiny but I'm trying to not lose heart. My last two rides on Carmen have been less than stellar. Yesterday I rode her in the evening. The bugs were terrible and she had a hard time focusing on me. Fair enough- it was a struggle for me too. When I brought her in the ring she was very distracted and disrespectful of my space which I fixed immediately. I didn't get on her until I had her full attention. Even so she was definitely tense in the corners. But I stayed calm and we rode through it all.
This morning I rode her early as there was to be rain later. On the ground she was fine. I mounted and she was immediately tense. I could get her to relax with my body but only for a bit. It took a lot of work and persuasion to get her into all 4 corners and to work without slamming on the brakes. There was one giant scoot that caused me to tense my legs and grab but I'm cutting myself some slack on that one. I did manage to get relaxed. I stayed with the plan and kept working away. We finished on a good note and I dismounted. I was happy that I worked through it successfully but discouraged that I had to work through it at all.
I believe that I'm on the right path but am feeling a bit frustrated and am worried that we're going backwards. I have started her on a Magnesium supplement and we'll see if that makes a difference. I suspect the increased calories with the grass is not helping and I've cut back on her feed.
I also heard back from the show secretary which was essentially if I withdraw my entry and re submit she will still charge the incomplete entry form. And she won't process my entry until she receives my check. She does have my class list and my information- she's missing the signed 'person responsible' page, the photocopy of my memberships and my stable request. I still don't know what happened. That's fine. What hurt my feelings was that she did not trust that I would bring the check with me. The reason that hurt is that I started this organization and it was all about supporting people in the sport. When it was almost driven into the ground I came back and a group of us brought it back from the brink of bankruptcy. I left the board after Steele passed away because I didn't have the heart for it. They asked me to come back this year and I agreed. I have put hours of my time and miles on my car working for this organization and it seems to not matter at all. I didn't volunteer in order to get thanks or praise but it still seems a bit cold to me. But whatever. I've been through worse then not being trusted. But I'm wondering if maybe the universe is telling me I shouldn't go to the show?
We'll see. I have until June 4 (the closing) to decide. If I withdraw after that I need a doctor's or vet certificate. Sigh.
On a positive note this is a present that I got from Ed. I love it- it's powerful and light weight. Much better then the power drill that I was using.
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| A girl needs her power tools |
You know, maybe you and Carmen could both just use a day off. I'm sure you both expended a great deal of emotional and physical energy at the clinic and it sounds like it is catching up. Take a breath, take your dog for a walk, build something with that great new drill (truly a girl's best fiend:). Let all that stuff settle into your mind and come back fresh.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry about the trouble you are having with all the show stuff, I can see how that would be very hurtful and discouraging. That sort of crap is why I left all organized events years ago, I just have no patience for it and am happier without it in my life. If you want to show though, I guess you just have to jump through the hoops. Hopefully, you can set aside all the petty bureaucracy and just focus on what matters - you and Carmen.
thanks. I will be letting that bit all go. If I decide to scratch it will be because I thought it out and not in a pique. But it has made it easier to not volunteer and not feel guilty. :)
DeleteOh and the drill works great.
Dodging guilt is a good thing:)
DeleteIf the Mg is going to help, I would expect to see some results in 1-2 weeks. Another indication that it may be helping is a softening of her neck crest, not that she is really cresty.
I'm sorry you're feeling discouraged. I can relate to your experience with the show organizers. I was a member of a horse group (for a very short time) and donated a ton of money along with my photography skills, and people within the group kept accusing me of various things like stealing and trespassing. In one case, I was directed to park up front so I could easily access my photography equipment in my truck, and then got chewed out by someone else for parking there. In another case, I had permission from the president and land owner to photograph from a balcony, but three different people tried to stop me. In another case, I had won a prize, but had it grabbed out of my hands by someone and told that it was for prize winners only. I had to bite my tongue from telling her that after donating several hundred dollars to their cause and hours of my time, I highly doubt I'd be interested in stealing a stupid grooming tote. I dropped out after that weekend.
ReplyDeleteWow, that sounds awful
DeleteI have to say that I don't miss that aspect of showing at all. Not one little bit. Unfortunately, your experience is not unique. Lots of well -meaning, fair show managers out there but there are also the power/rules or die people. Ugh.
ReplyDeletetrue enough. In the grand scheme of things it not the worst thing ever.
DeleteSounds like you need to join a different organization. Frustrating when they do that to you, almost better of just being a show girl than a board member if they are gonna be like that. I've had days like that too that question my ability, quite often if I can ride a broke horse I find it helps my perspective. Oh and sweet drill :)
ReplyDeletePerhaps I should have climbed on Irish after to settle myself. :)
DeleteI am looking at other options too for showing. I've supported this set of shows for years (hell I started them) but maybe it's time for a change.
You know, I had a similar set back with Cowboy last year when I took him to the despooking clinic. For a while afterward, our rides were tense. In our case, I had to earn back his trust and partnership. I imagine, she just needs time to settle back in at home and process it all. Plus, you're probably thinking about what you learned at the clinic and integrating it into your daily work--which may feel a little different to her, too. She'll come around. That is sad about the trust issue. I would be a bit offended, too. You've done a lot for them.
ReplyDeleteThat is a very good point- about the stuff to process
DeleteThat sucks about the show organizers. It's a little weird too as some of the shows I've been to where I'm a complete unknown haven't bothered to require a check in advance. They just trusted me to show up with one. I hope you still go though. Don't let people and bureaucracies and politics get in the way of enjoying yourself.
ReplyDelete