So I need to calm down

I was very disappointed that the vetting had to be postponed. In fact, I overreacted. In fact, I'm still over reacting.

I know it's irrational. It's been re-booked and the seller has arranged an indoor. The shipper knows. But I'm not having an easy time of it.

Ed is doing his best to calm me down. Last night he said "this is not like you at all. Why are you so panicked ?it will be fine"

And then it hit me as to why.
"because a couple months ago I rode in the morning and then buried my horse in the afternoon"

So there you have it. I'm still dealing with the fall out of Steele's senseless death. The thing that seems to help the best is writing. Feel free to stop reading what is, essentially, part of my grieving process.

I'm terrified that things will go wrong because they go wrong. My worst times are at night- in that moment between waking and sleeping when all guards are down I find myself back in the swamp. It doesn't happen every night but it happens so often that it's starting to feel familiar.

Reason tells me that there's no reason to worry. Not really. I just need to keep repeating it to myself.

Waiting

There's been a delay in the Pre-Purchase Exam- Virginia is frozen over so the vet had to postpone.

In the meantime, Simon has discovered d'Arcy's winter jacket

Ice Baby

I am so over winter.

Seriously.

Yesterday was a rainy day, on top of all the snow. Some barns have collapsed and locally two people just finished riding when the riding arena collapsed. In the morning I went to the indoor track to go for a run. It's been a long time since I did it but I managed to run 5 km straight.

While it was nice to have mild weather it became apparent that the water was getting dammed by the piles of snow. As a result, Lexi's stall flooded. I had to empty out my spare stall so that I could move her over to that one. Armed with shovels and my ice scraper I began to dig more trenches to give the water a place to go.

Nothing like cutting through water logged snow and ice in the rain to make one feel, well, homicidal. 

After futilely trying to stop the flood into Lexi's stall we took a break. Ed headed into the house and I brought the horses in. Lexi was fine with her 'new' stall but Irish got all upset. Heaven knows he doesn't like change but I thought he was over dramatic. Plus he was completely unappreciative of all the work I did. 

I fed them and headed outside. I surveyed the situation and the solution came to me. You see, a few weeks ago in trying to get Lexi's stall door open to the outside we chipped away the ice. This created a basin for the water to pool and it was seeping to the inside. The other doors were blocked by snow. So I started shovelling and packing snow up against the door. I stomped it into the basin. 

I headed into the house, grabbed a beer and two advil and told Ed "I've either solved the problem or made it worse." I sat down and drank my beer before continuing on making supper. 

Turns out that my solution worked, so yay for me. 

That night I was asleep as soon as I turned out the light and didn't move all night. 

This greeted me in the morning: 

Belle is not impressed

We could skate on my driveway. Fortunately I have these spike cleats that I put on my boots so I don't slip. Best $20 I've ever spent.

I had to fortify myself so that I could tackle this morning's work. Fortunately I was off on monday. 

Lexie's stall

I cleaned out Lexi's stall and cleaned up the barn. It looked like a bomb went off but yesterday I was too tired to tackle it.

And my other project- digging a trench for the water to melt away from the barn. This drift is about 4 1/2 feet tall so I'm going to 'chip away' at it over the next several days. If anyone needs an upper body workout let me know.....

Tonight it's going to down to some ridiculously low temperature. 

Sigh. 

I hate February. 

On a happier note, Charlante's vetting is Thursday. My vet passed the x-rays, this is for the physical. Now If I could just get shippers to call me back. Also, thank you everyone for the votes on my photo. I really appreciate it. 

Winter Fun

While I was in Virginia we were hit with a massive blizzard. We now have so much snow that there's no more places to put it.

And we were luckier than PEI: check out these photos http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/snow-what-snowf

I have to lead the horses in and out because their  sliding doors to the outside are buried. However, we now have a routine so there's no hassle. I haven't had much time to enjoy the snow. By the time I've finished my chores and snow removal all I can think of enjoying is a hot chocolate and baileys.

Or wine.

And snacks. 

 Tomorrow we're supposed to get a lot of rain. Yesterday, as I was engaging in my usual after work fun, aka shovelling,  I saw that the shed roof had quite a bit of snow on it. Having that collapse would be a major pain in the behind (the tractor lives there). So I decided to climb up and shovel it off. Don't be too impressed

See- I just had to climb up the snow bank ( FYI the shed is about 7 feet tall).

I hopeful that the rain wont cause flooding but, since I can't do anything to stop it, I've decided that it's the beginning of the spring thaw. 

Somewhere under that snow is my fence and grass.

See:

I received this photo of Charlante in Virginia today:

It's good that she's getting used to snow, but she does not look too impressed. But if she's going to become a Canadian citizen she better get used to it.

And speaking of winter, I'm entered in this contest on FB for a winter blanket. The photo with the most likes wins. I love this photo of Irish, Steele and d'Arcy

Board Meeting

so if you can click on this FB link and 'like' it, I would greatly appreciate it.
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Bits-N-Bridles-Tack-and-Feed-Store/557275177631188?sk=photos_stream&tab=photos  My photo is in the 7th row. Yes, it's shameless but you know how I feel about blankets.

Thank you. :)

Southern hospitality

Virginia has always been on my list as a place to visit. And, even in February, you could see it's beauty. At least where we were. We saw rolling hills, mountains, beautiful estates and charming shops. The people were as nice as the scenery. 

In looking at hotel options I had many to choose from. I started by googling tack shops in Charlottesville. I found Dover Saddlery. Another place that I've always wanted to go. There was a hotel a block away- The Hampton Inn. Horse people will understand the choosing of a hotel based on proximity to a tack shop. The Inn was very nice- the beds were comfy, the breakfast good and the staff fabulous. Karen and I had a lot of fun at Dovers. It did not disappoint. 

I scored some new breeches:

The staff warned me that they were on the 'small side' and they were right- going up a size was required. 

My pet peeve about breeches is that they seemed designed for the pre-teen body. Which I don't have. These fit well. 

A new long sleeved top:

I'm glad I bought it, I needed it as a layer on Sunday

And lastly this lovely halter. I love leather halters but they get stiff in the cold- this combination of leather and webbing seemed perfect:

I bought navy. 

Catherine was an excellent hostess taking us around the countryside. I asked her if she knew an author I like- Rita Mae Brown. Turns out that her farm is on the same road as Catherine's. So we stopped by to get a shot. 

me by the entrance to Rita Mae Brown's farm

if you haven't read her books she has a series around the fox hunting that are a lot of fun to read. It's obvious that she knows horses and I enjoy her description of the characters who participate in the sport. I'd love to try it sometime.....

So I had a weekend of looking at beautiful horses, shopping,  eating fabulous food and meeting great people. Sounds good doesn't it? I have told Ed that we have to go back in better weather for a vacation. 

The Decision

some of my FB friends are accusing me of upping their blood pressure with this saga. Another told me that I was not allowed to go to bed until I gave the conclusion.

So my apologies and let me conclude this story for you.

Sunday morning I woke up after a long sleep. The day was very cold (-12) and windy so we had decided to wait until the afternoon to ride. Our hostess took us to downtown Charlottesville to show us the lovely walking mall they have. It was lovely, even on a bitter cold February day so I can imagine how lovely it would be in the summer. We had a wonderful brunch at a restaurant and then headed out to the stable.

Unfortunately, it was still windy and cold but we carried on. I asked to ride Charlante first. She was a bit 'up' because of the weather but when I went in to pat her and pick out her feet she calmed down. We took her down to the ring and I watched her being lunged. She was quite excited but still incredibly well mannered. A few scoots but she never came against the line. I then got on her. This time we could walk off without help. I watched the videos after and her tail was actually blowing sideways. It was clear that she was not impressed with being out in the weather with the whole world blustering around her. But I asked her to soften and bend and she did. Of course we were not able to maintain it but we got better. Well I got better and realizing where she was going to lose it and correcting it ahead of time. We trotted a bit and then I asked her walk and then trot. Once we passed the gate she wanted to go out but I stopped her with my outside rein and leg. Which she protested. I was insistent and I was curious as to how we would work through this small hissy fit. What I realized that was she was so sensitive that you have to give right away. So I put my leg on and as soon as she moved forward I took it off and praised her (I will have to remember this in the future  I thought) I also remembered my lesson with Jane to sit up and use my seat to encourage her forward (thank you Jane).

you can see the riding ring- lots to look at

the house under construction to the right. the red skip had a
big blue tarp on it saturday but it blew off and was against the fence.

I then changed direction and we went the other way. She relaxed back into the work.  Every time she responded I let her know that I was pleased with her. A gust of wind from behind moved her into canter and rather than correct it I decided to ride it (I can fix that over time I thought). Again it was so effortless. I gave her lots of praise and we returned to the trot and then a walk. I halted her by the gate and chatted with Catherine and Karen for a bit. It was clear that she thought I was done but I wanted to do one more test. I asked her to walk away from the gate and back to work. And she did, without balking although it was clear that missy was not impressed. I loved how sensitive and keen she was. the question was did I have want it takes to bring her along? This is horse that required finesse and sensitivity.

I asked her to halt but she wouldn't stand. So we walked a bit and I asked her again. Again she wouldn't be still. I won't get off a moving horse so I channeled Royce and said in a clear voice 'whoa' while I sat still. She became rock still and I dismounted. We walked up the hill with her tagging along respectfully beside me. Her owner walked beside me and said "I like how you ride her. You ride with your head and not with your hands"

I brought her into the stall to untack her and Catherine went out to get Agente. However, I made up my mind and making everyone suffer in the bitter cold seemed pointless. I went out the barn and called to not worry about him, I had made a decision.  We all smiled and hugged. I may have teared up.

why her? Well I liked how different she was then Steele. I won't be tempted to compare her. I liked her potential.

But mostly I just felt my heart give a little leap every time I sat on her. I think that she and I can forge a partnership. So pending vet check I will the owner of a mare. Or rather owned by a mare.

me in multiple layers....

sales pic

Next steps: vet check, insurance, transportation....

But wait, there's more

I'm not trying to drag this out for dramatic effect.

 Really & truly.

It's just that there's so much to tell and I don't want to write the War and Peace version of a blog post.

After trying the lovely and regal Reina we headed to Afton to try out two more horses.

The first was young mare named Charlante. She was born in 2010 at her current barn and through a series of events ended up back there. Her last owner didn't want her any more because a trainer said that 'she'd never make Grand Prix'. I laughed and said that I probably wouldn't either so that was okay.  She was a lovely dapple gray with a feminine face and slightly shy, reserved demeanour. If I stick with the 'Downton Abby' character theme, she reminded me of Anna (can you tell that I'm a fan?). She was just shy of 16 hh.

I watched her being lunged and then ridden. She had a lovely floaty trot and canter. The weather was cold and breezy and while she was alert and a bit worried she was very well behaved. Then it was my turn. I settled onto her back and gathered up the reins. She was reluctant to walk off and leave the people she knew so Catherine (who's a USDF instructor) led us into the ring and then coached me on riding her. I find her very responsive, sensitive with an active brain. Her trot was forward and smooth. She was not always easy to keep bent to the inside but given that the ring was up on a hill overlooking a beautiful (and windy) valley and there was a giant blue tarp over  a skip at a construction site up on the hill that all made sense to me. When I asked her to bend back to me she did. Her canter was effortless- it was silken. I was starting to have a lot of fun. As I asked more of her I felt her tuning in more and more. We were no where near perfect- it was too early for that I felt that with a bit of work we could really click. I could feel that there was a lot of potential for collection and lengthening with proper development. When I dismounted I took her for a walk around the ring. I wanted to see how she was with me on the ground- would she go towards the 'spooky things' and stand there with me. the answer to that was 'yes she would'. She stood at my shoulder and waited for me. I led her up to the barn and to her stall. I was half in love with her by then.

Then it was time for a gray gelding named Agente. He had grown since his video and had a strong conformation with lots of bone. He was a year younger than Steele and still had a lot of growing to do. He was definitely going to get well over 16h. I looked at his face and stepped back. It was so much like Steele that it surprised me. I turned to Karen "I don't think I can ride him". She calmed me down (again) and pointed out that it was just his head. The rest of him was not the same. She told me to watch him being worked and just go one step at a time. I decided that she was being sensible. So we followed him down to the ring. His movement was strong with lots of impulsion. He seemed to fling himself into his job. Like Charlante his lunging manners were excellent. I watched Catherine ride him and he was obedient but distractible. He had not been worked that week and he had energy to burn. Then it was my turn. I found that he was quite happy to have me up there but one of us had to be in charge and he was happy to make decisions if I wasn't going to. I had to keep his brain occupied with me and then all was good. His trot was very bouncy but rhythmic. I could feel that there was a ton of untapped power in there. After a bit I decided to push him a bit and I asked him to canter. He wasn't sure what I wanted right away (he hadn't been cantered under saddle for while) but I urged him through a faster trot (not ideal I know but I wanted to see how he'd react). He broke into this lovely bouncy canter. I. t would be easy to push him over tempo at this point so I worked on keeping it steady. When I asked for a trot transition he came right back. I walked him up the hill and he tagged behind me happily enough. I realized that there was a spark there too.

On the way back we got dropped off at Dover Saddlery (of course I booked a hotel within a block of it) and indulged in some equine retail therapy. We then headed out to supper early to beat the Valentine's Day rush. Over a mexican dinner and a margarita we discussed the horses. I asked Karen her thoughts. She noted that both were nice and I rode both well, but there was one horse that I lit up on when I rode.  I agreed that one seemed to capture my heart already. I realized that I was exhausted. After dinner it was all I could do to walk back to the room and stay awake until 9.

As I was dozing off and thinking about the day I recognized that I had two very real prospects that I would be happy with. The choice was between muscle and power or grace and elegance.
Not a bad dilemma really, when you think of it.