I was very disappointed that the vetting had to be postponed. In fact, I overreacted. In fact, I'm still over reacting.
I know it's irrational. It's been re-booked and the seller has arranged an indoor. The shipper knows. But I'm not having an easy time of it.
Ed is doing his best to calm me down. Last night he said "this is not like you at all. Why are you so panicked ?it will be fine"
And then it hit me as to why.
"because a couple months ago I rode in the morning and then buried my horse in the afternoon"
So there you have it. I'm still dealing with the fall out of Steele's senseless death. The thing that seems to help the best is writing. Feel free to stop reading what is, essentially, part of my grieving process.
I'm terrified that things will go wrong because they go wrong. My worst times are at night- in that moment between waking and sleeping when all guards are down I find myself back in the swamp. It doesn't happen every night but it happens so often that it's starting to feel familiar.
Reason tells me that there's no reason to worry. Not really. I just need to keep repeating it to myself.