Uncertainty

 If the word for 2020 was 'unprecedented' (tell me I'm not alone in hating this word now) then the word for 2021, at least for me, is uncertainty. 

The pandemic is still a thing and, while the vaccines are coming, the roll out is slow. We're all just waiting our turn. It's not clear how this will impact the dressage season. I suspect that we won't be having any EC shows. There might be some unrated ones in the fall but who knows? Not me that's for sure. 

will this every happen again? 

I realized that I'm not just feeling uncertain about the show season. 

Normally by now I'm writing up my goals for this year and booking things in my calendar. This year I'm not feeling it. 

Of course, March weather is notoriously unpredictable. We've had both the warmest and coldest weather this month. 

This ride started out sunny, then this happened and a
few minutes later it was a blizzard. Then it was sunny.  
Carmen thought I was being foolish

Reading this over, I realize this makes it sound like I'm depressed. But the truth is that I'm really not. I actually feel like I'm in a pretty good place.  What I'm not feeling is the pressure to achieve. At least not the way I used to. 

Last year I experimented quite a bit with Carmen and I think that it really helped us. In my riding I'm feeling pretty in control emotionally, physically and with my attention. That has been requiring me to focus on being in control not controlling. I am not sure I would have even know there was a difference when it came to riding. 

This is my favourite view

I've been playing with liberty too. Pretty much every ride I do groundwork and then take off her halter and work with her free. Once she left me to go where Irish was. I let her go and encouraged her to keep working and when I offered her to rest (after a couple circles) she quite happily came up to me. I do hope to connect with a clinician who does this and learn things. Because right now I am fully aware that I don't know what I don't know. 

I think that the goals I have this year is to explore our relationship and see where we go. And to see how that impacts on our dressage stuff. 

 I may show. I might do a couple clinics (I did sign up for another obstacle clinic). I will definitely go and visit Karen for a weekend. 

So I have goals, sort of? I guess. 

Carmen: just go with the flow. Especially
if the flow includes carrots