This morning it was like a tropical storm outside. I opened my laptop to distract myself from laundry when my calendar app popped up a reminder: it was Steele's birthday. He would have been 5 years old. I had totally forgotten that I had put that on my calendar. I was not distraught by the reminder but it was a gut punch and I allowed myself a few tears. I then went to visit a friend and she was a welcome distraction- drinking tea and catching up. When I returned home I sighed and ate some lunch and tried to figure out what to do for the rest of the day.
I looked out the window and saw the sun bravely trying to peek out from the clouds. I waited an hour and the rain did not come back. I changed into my riding gear and got Carmen tacked up. We walked up to the ring and during our ground work she was calm and steady. I mounted and we began our work. She stayed tuned into me through the entire ride. Not that she wasn't worried about some areas but it really was negligible. As I rode I was brought back to my first ride together when I tried her out. I felt that same lift in my heart and excitement about the potential. When we were done my soul felt soothed.
The universe gave me a gift with the break in the weather. Carmen gave me a gift of a lovely ride. Having horses in my life is a real gift. Having had Steele for the time I did was a joy. I would prefer him to be here- alive, whole and driving me crazy with his antics. But I refuse to allow his death to take away the gift that he was. My life is richer because of Irish, Carmen and Steele.
|run free my love|