So Many Flaws, So Little Time

As riders we are all familiar with this question from non-riders: "Why are you still taking lessons? Don't you already know how to ride?"

My long answer, about how continuous improvement takes outside eyes and if you want to get better you need a coach etc, makes their eyes glaze over and quickly change the subject. My short one is also true: 'Riding is hard'

While there was a lot to truly like from the show, there's a lot that drives me crazy about my riding.

I love this photo- she uphill and soft but
what the hell am I doing with my left hand?
(PC Amy Sangster) 

My biggest thing right now is my tendency to lean forward as soon as things get tense. I know why- it's my defensive posture. But honestly, it has to go because now I think I'm sitting up when I'm actually not. Which is why we need a person on the ground because our bodies lie to us. 

So when Shanea offered a lesson on Wednesday at 12:30 when there was a heat warning I said 'sure' (although faintly). 

I told her that I really wanted to work on this sitting forward. Carmen obliged by being a bit of dick about the far corner. (this is also really bugging me because it's only on the right rein):

I don't know where she got the energy to be so testing. With the humidex it was 39 degrees (102 Fahrenheit). Which for Nova Scotia is blistering. (The bucket you see there was filled with water so Shanea could periodically sponge Carmen down). 

I don't help this whole issue by leaning forward so the lesson was on me sitting up and using my back to not let Carmen pull me forward. 

here she is using that strong neck of her's to pull me then my
lizard brain says 'lean forward so we don't die!'

It's not Carmen's fault I do this- it's always been a flaw of mine. But her behaviour doesn't help me get rid of it. So I need to take charge. 

so much better but I could be back even more

Honestly, when I'm sitting up it feels like I'm leaning way back. So clearly I need to work on this.

Fortunately, I'm off to a clinic this weekend with Karen on balance in riding (she's a level 2 CR instructor).  I'm hoping that I can get some ways to remind myself when I'm riding alone.  It's a small clinic in a lovely setting. I'm staying with Paula so it will be another fun weekend with horse friends. 

I'm sure that Carmen is excited. LOL, I expect that she's not a fan of my vacation. 

Carmen's favourite way to vacation

Jacqueline Brooks Clinic Recap: Day 2 Balancing Point

 I don't care that she broke to trot. I care that she lost her balance ~ Jacqueline Brooks

****
Standard disclaimer that all errors are mine and should not reflect Jacquie's training
****
Overnight the temperature dropped from 'unseasonably warm' to 'cold and blustery'.  I was glad that I had thought to throw a winter coat into the truck before I left. At 6:30 a.m. it was cold! I fed the horses I was resonsible for (there was a new one looking at me plaintively but I explained that I didn't have instructions and could not help. Talk about guilt!) and headed back to the house for a warm cup of coffee.

Once it was light out I turned out Carmen and hooked up the trailer. I liked being able to turn her out. I think that it's better for a horse to be able to move themselves when possible. Carmen is not that good at being in a new turnout amd I am hoping that she gets used to it.

such a lovely setting

She was calmer this time but still happy to come back inside. I watched a few rides and took more notes. Jacquie had spent a lot of time in the clinic talking about balance. She talked a lot about building the bridge which holds the rider. The two sides are the front end and the back end. If you push too much and/or too quickly the back end can push the horse onto the forehand and they lose their balance. My understanding is that she believes that the front end needs to be warmed up and loose before you ask for too much behind. She also made the observation that horses get upset at a lack of balance and can be reactive. It sounded very similar to something that Sue leffler (CR coach) said to me as well.  Jacquie said that a horse and rider are like pairs figureskaters. The horse is the man on the bottom holding the woman over his head. If she is moving all around he cannot stay balanced underneath of her and there is no security. I liked that image. 

I braided Carmen again. I hadn't planned on putting on her ear bonnet but I made such a mess of the forelock that I figured it would cover it up. From the side she looked like she had a small horn growing out of her forehead. 

I didn't bother about taking her to the outdoor to warm up first. Jacquie said that she preferred we didn't anyway. I simply came in and mounted up. I felt so much more relaxed then the day before which allowed me to be more focussed. 

Carmen pretty much felt the same as the day before and  gave a spook as I walked off but honestly I was just her typical spin away and it was no big deal. Jacquie pointed out the value of the neck strap for a spooky/bolty horse. She explained that I could use the strap for control and not have to hold so much with the reins. This allowed me to push her forward into contact withtou worry about where she would go.

In my ride the night before I had realized how much easier it was to keep her straight. When Carmen gets tense and ready to run away she always drops the inside shoulder. I can use rein to flex her (or actually bring her head right around) but then she drops her outside shoulder and twist her neck and by then I've lost whatever the heck it was I was trying to work on. With the neck strap, when she dropped her shoulder to the right I would pick it up on the left and give a small tug. This got her to pick herself up at the shoulder/wither  and rebalance. This kept us straight and on track. Essentially the rope helped me to steer her shoulders and keep her underneath of me.

The other way we used the neck strap was to lift it up gently when she dropped her neck/chest and wanted to plow down. I could feel her lifting her shoulders, my leg brought the hind leg under and she lifted herself into self-carriage. It was so cool. I have no idea if the videos captured how it felt but it felt awesome.

Carmen and I relaxed much more quickly into work on Day 2 and we could focus on some more things- like straightness, shoulder fore, and canter. With the canter work, Jacquie really wanted the trot to slow up and the horse reach under and then ask. It felt quite exaggerated and I'm sure the idea is with time for that to become and invisible half-halt. Doing it that way really helped Carmen to step into her right lead canter (her 'bad' way) with little difficulty (at around the 1:50 mark):

 I just loved how quiet and calm our canter was. It took a lot of repititions but me to understand about the slowing up first. Jacquie kept saying 'tell her 'whoa'and  I kept saying 'easy'. I think she was getting a little frustrated as to why I would not say 'whoa' like she was telling me. What I wanted to say but it wasn't the time was I have spent a lot of time, money and effort on teaching this horse that 'whoa' has only one meaning : all four legs come to a complete and total stop no matter what gait. It's our 'safe' word. For Carmen 'easy' means 'slow up and come back to me'. That seemed like a lot to try to explain and Jacquie let it go so it was okay. I knew that adding in 'whoa' would only result in confusion. Lots of people who ride english use 'whoa' to mean everything from stop to slow up a bit. I get it and I have no issue with it. But for me I like having 'whoa' mean just one thing and I'm not going to change it at this point.

Some more rigt lead canter:

At the 10 second mark she lifts up into a lovely relaxed canter. I think it was the best trot-canter transition I have ever done with her.  Amd we were straight down the long side- no haunches in!  I loved everything about the ride: how she was listening and we were able to work together.

We finished up practicing walk/canter transitions. I was making the mistake of asking her to canter and throwing the reins away. I was to let her take the reins forward and keep the contact. Once I did that we were able to get some lovely transitions. Of course my phone died before then so you will just have to believe me.

This clinic was a fabulous experience for me. I would do it again in a heartbeat (I would have to save up first). I learned a ton and came away with some new tools and a deeper undestanding of what I need to do. I allowed myself to be pushed and it really paid off. Carmen and I, like every other horse/rider in the clinic finished our lessons having worked hard but we were not exchausted or sour. Carmen was quite pleased with herself and you can see in her demeanour that she was happy.

It was lovely to get away and spend some time in a bubble out of the larger world. I didn't hear any news and it was wonderful. Instead it was a weekend where I spent some time with some lovely horse women and my lovely girl. We had fun and learned a ton. 

Jacqueline Brooks Clinic Recap: Day 1, Moving Outside of My Comfort Zone

This ain't no old lady sport ~Jacqueline Brooks~ 

Sorry guys- this is going to be a long post.

I was up nice and early on Friday morning. I dressed and tried to be quiet going down the stairs (not easy in an old house). Outside the air was calm and quiet. When I came into the barn Carmen gave me a soft nicker. I fed her and the other two horses (riders in the clinic who were staying farther away. This way they wouldn't have to be up at the crack of dawn). After doing my morning chores I headed back into the house where Julia had some delicious coffee brewing and was cooking bacon.

I had asked to be later in the schedule to ride for Friday because I wanted to watch a few rides first. While I like to go first in many things I have learned that it's helpful to watch a clinician I am unfamiliar with for a bit first. That way I have a sense of what she's looking for and her teaching style. About an hour in I sent Cynthia a text: 'OMG, She's an AMAZING teacher'.

I am going to review a few of the concepts I learned before I go into my lesson.
*********
The standard disclaimer applies: What I am writing is what I understood Jacquie to be teaching. If you disagree or think what I say is wrong that falls back to me. I am doing my best to fully understand what she shared with us but you cannot hold her responsible for my understanding (or lack thereof).
**********

1. Jacquie spent a lot of time building the riders understanding of the 'bridge'. To build the bridge the horse needs to have his shoulders free and loose and then bring their back up. She started everyone on getting the shoulders relaxed and warmed up. Jacquie described the shoulders as being two pillars with the neck and chest in a sling. As the horse warms up, the shoulders become elastic and are able to move up and down. Horses will get stuck in the shoulder and stop their back. If their back is not moving then they can't really bring the legs under to carry themselves.

this man is leaning on the cart and all his weight is on his front arms. He is unbalanced and could easily fall

2. 'Push the shopping cart': I struggled with this a bit but my understanding was that this was an analogy to help the rider keep the horse from falling forward onto the shopping cart. We were to visualize that the horse was pushing the shopping cart but he/she was not allowed to drop his head into and lean on it:

this woman  has her weight on her legs and is balanced over her core

 Funnily enough I can't find images of horses pushing shopping carts so the above will have to do. Jacquie had various riders visualize pushing the cart with their horse's chest/neck/forehead depending on what she was trying to accomplish.  What I think this helped with is the idea of keeping the horse's shoulders up and moving and staying straight. Lifting the head and neck (and not worrying about contact or frame) moves the balance up and then the push from the hind legs won't push the horse onto the forehand.

3. Everything on the training scale comes after balance.  The more the horse is balanced the quieter  your aids can be. A heavy rein always means a loss of balance. Engage your own core and bring your elbows back to help the horse find his balance.

4. 'Tell her 'good girl". I heard that a lot over the weekend. As soon as the horse did what was asked (even a little bit) they were told they were good. Mistakes were fine, 'just bring them back and show them what you want'. 

Those were the key things I came away with in my notebook. I had turned Carmen outside for a bit when another rider came in and told me that she was getting agitated. I went out and as soon as she saw me she called and ran to the gate. I brought her in and spent some time grooming her and decided to braid her. As I was braiding her mane I could feel her relax.  When it was time for us I took her down to the outdoor ring to lunge her and warm her up. She was not a fan of the far end of the ring- there were bushes, grasses and trees. Carmen took one look and was nope.nope.nope.  I used the time to do ground work and get her focussed. I didn't mount until Shanea came down with her horse. I just walked her around the far end (away from the scary spot) and worked on relaxation. I didn't believe it was time to address the far end. 

I should mention that it was a warm day. When we came up to the indoor the far door was open. Carmen and I took one look at the far end with the waving grass and trees and said 'uh oh'. It turns out that I said that out loud. Julia asked if I wanted them closed and I said 'nope, we will deal with it'. 

I started at the end far away from the open door. There were some issues with the ear piece as well- trying to get them to sync with two ear pieces so we ended up riding without it. By then, with the door open, seeing all the auditors and Carmen being tight I kind of lost my brain. I was having a really hard time getting myself organized.

 I had given my whip to someone when I started because she was so forward. Carmen was so far behind my leg it felt like we were going backwards. I could not get her forward. Why I didn't ask for my whip back I have no idea. None. I was trying to push my shopping cart but it was like pushing one with the brakes on and one wonky wheel. 

I am going to share some videos of my bad riding. Nicole was very kind and used my phone to take some videos. There are more on my youtube channel (if you are now bored watching paint dry feel free to check them out). 

On the plus side- look at us go by the far door. So that's a win. Ignore the stiff backed rider on the stiff backed horse. 

At one point I was so out of it that Jacquie was telling me to use my right rein and I kept hearing 'left' and of course Carmen and I were getting more out of sync and I'm sure Jacquie was frustrated when I realized. I felt like an idiot. After that things got better. 

Jacquie suggested that Shanea and I use a neck strap. I have never ever used one. The idea was that by using the strap I can affect how Carmen engaged her shoulders and lift her head without using a ton of rein. It also really really helped with preventing her from dropping her shoulder and dekeing away from things. It was, in some ways, like neck reining. 

Better flow. 

I have to say that we ended in a good place: I was able to get her forward off the leg and we were both much happier.

After the ride my brain was a bit of a mess. My memory was that I was really really awful and Jacquie was not happy with me. When I watched the videos later I realized that she was clear and consistent and gave me lots of praise (when I earned it). I wasn't horrible but Carmen and I were certainly not at our best. Jacquie is an Olympian and I am a middle aged AA making a ton of mistakes and seemingly unable to listen. How she kept her patience I have no idea. (In full disclosure I was the person who would get an exam back at university with a 97 and look for my mistake. In some ways I am Hermione Granger).

 I was outside of my comfort zone that my brain was in a bit of whirl. Between the shopping cart (with the wonky wheel), trying to stay on task, having an audience (albeit a kind one) and riding with the neck strap I was struggling to get things into a framework. So I am happy for the videos to reflect back on. It allows me to see what following Jacquie's instructions really helps. I am sure I will use them frequently. I watched some more lessons- which helped.

It was wonderful to watch horses and riders transform. Every one of them finished off so much better then they started. Jacquie maintained the same energy level from beginning to end. The first and last rider has had her full and undivided attention. Even more telling was how happy the horses were at the end. Despite working hard the horses looked loose and pleased with themselves. So did the riders.

After the rides were done a bunch of people (along with Jacquie) left to go to a local restaurant for a cocktail. I declined. To be honest my introvert self was a bit overwhelmed. I also needed to do something.

When everyone was done I quietly tacked Carmen up and took her back to the ring. Now before you judge me on this- I was not being goal driven. I realized that I needed to take what I had learned and see if I could make sense of it when I could do it at my own pace. Later that night Jacquie overheard me talking about it and was curious as to why I rode Carmen again. I explained that I wanted to see if I could figure out the neck strap and cart on my own.
"why? that's what I'm here for'
'Yes, but I only have you tomorrow and then I'm going to have to see if I understand what I thought I understood. Riding tonight helped me so that tomorrow I can get the most out of the lesson. (Jacquie looks at me quizzically) It's how I learn."
With that she let it go.

It was the right call. I was able to quietly ride and focus on how things felt without the performance anxiety. I picked up the neck strap and put it down to play with how it worked. I used the mirrors to practise being straight. During the lesson Carmen was really throwing her haunches right (as she does when tense. I am sure I contribute to it as well). In that ride I was able to find my centre and we re-connected. After 20 minutes I hopped off and felt more satisfied.

That night we had a potluck. I sat around a large round table with other women talking horses. We laughed and shared and drank wine or beer. It was a perfect way to end the day.

I am sure that Jacquie is plotting to buy Carmen and take her away to the olympics. :D

SaveSave

Jacqueline Brooks Clinic Recap: The Day Before

Despite my worries I was able to get the trailer loaded, packed multiple layers of clothes (the weather was supposed to wildly variable) and hit the road. These days when I go to load Carmen she sees the trailer and is just says 'all right' and makes a beeline. I have to stop her to throw the lead line up over her back and she pretty much rolls her eyes.

The GPS found Clay Hill Farm without difficulty. I put Carmen in her stall and then took my suitcase into the house. Julia, the owner, kindly offered me a room to stay.

After getting organized and learning where to find water etc., I tacked Carmen up and brought her into the arena. It's a coverall arena with kkckboards around the side. There are mirrors on the ends which is wonderful.

hmm, I see that I have some dirt on my neck, you better get that cleaned before tomorrow

Carmen was quite excited and wanted to be very spooky. What I found was that I wasn't nervous about that at all. I simply kept riding her and keeping her on task. I was with other riders and one by one they all left. The last one (Brittany who owns the most wonderful horse 'Spiderman', an appendix QH who she's trained to a very high level), asked if I was okay with her leaving and whether Carmen would get upset.

I said the she probably would but that was fine. So yes I was brave but I also know that Shanea was coming with her lovely mare and would be there soon. I could feel Carmen being quite jazzed so I asked her to canter and let her work forward instead of sideways/backwards/etc. I realized that I have stopped being worried that I might be hurt or have a horrible ride. This means that I can just go to work. It's not that she won't spook - in fact she found some dead grass between the kick plate and the canvas wall that she thought was horribly dangerous. I didn't make a fuss- I just ignored the plant and settled on the work. I was really happy with how quickly I was able to get her settled in and relaxed.

I was quite struck by how friendly everyone at the barn was. Everyone there seemed to be happy to there and welcoming to strangers. The people riding were focussed and seemed to be enjoying their horses. Later that evening Jacqueline Brooks arrived and we sat around the kitchen table chatting. She really is laid back and friendly with a great sense of humour.

I headed to bed. I would love to say that I was ready and confident about the next day but the truth is I wasn't. But I wasn't losing any sleep over it either. I figured that I needed to trust the process. 

The Perils of Optimism

This is us boldly going... where exactly? 

I consider myself an optimistic person. I tend to believe that things will work out. This keeps me persistent when things don't always work out the way I want. the upside is that this sense that it will all work out has helped me with Carmen.

I have kept my clinic experiences with Johanna and Sue Leffler with the purpose of improving my relation with Carmen. And putting on miles. This has really paid off. I am a firm believer that money is best spent on regular lessons rather then clinics. However, on my last trail ride with Nancy I commented that I felt that I could now take Carmen to a clinic to focus on advancing our skills.

Which brings me to Jacqueline Brooks. She comes to Nova Scotia regularly to teach clinics and they are always full. I have seen Jacqueline ride and I quite like her style and how she seems to just love riding.

guess who else love riding? Me. 

In the summer I was talking to Julia (who hosts the clinics) about things in general. I mentioned that if there was ever room I would love to do one of the clinics. I felt it would be a fun stretch for us. 

An easy thing to think when you don't believe that there would be room. Unfortunately I was unable to do the Joahanna clinic this fall because of work and personal commitments. And I seem to be missing doing it. So when I saw that Jacquie was coming in early November I figured I would audit. I mentioned it to Shanea and she suggested we do a semi-private.  I thought that sounded great but figured it wouldn't happen. 

Even though I e-mailed Julia and asked if I could join the clinic, I still .believed it wouldn't happen. 

I was resolved to be graciously  disappointed.

Then I received an email from Julia: 

"Amazing news. I was just talking to Jacquie. She says she will fit in an extra lesson. You guys are in!"

um, what? 

And that is how I ended up in a clinic with an international dressage olympian in about 10 days. 

I blame my optimism. 

Truthfully, I am excited. I think it will be a great opportunity for us. 

But what am I going to wear? 

So if you are in the neighbourhood of Sheffield Mills, NS on November 3 & 4 stop on in and audit. Jacquie is a great teacher and there will be some very nice horses there. Not to mention a fiery Spanish mare.

 

Clinic Weekend Part 1: Trust

I'm  going to apologize but I have too much material for one post (unless you want the War and Peace of all posts).

Friday morning Carmen and I had a short ride before leaving. I thought that it would help us both if she was a bit tired for the journey. Our ride was pretty good- we're definitely growing in consistency in our training.

I finished packing the trailer and ate a quick lunch. Carmen self-loaded on to the trailer which I was pleased with since this was our first trailer trip of the year. The drive was uneventful. If you don't count my anxiety about trailering. I was exhausted by the time I got there. But Carmen travelled beautifully and unloaded like a dream.

Here's the thing that got me excited: In the past every time I take Carmen to a new place she requires a lot of persuasion to enter the barn. She will balk and often I need someone behind me to assist. It can take a long time to get where we need to. That happened when she first came home too. This time she walked behind me. When she would hesitate I would stop briefly, let her look and then put a gentle pressure on the the halter. As soon as she yielded I released. It was a testament to the trust that we have built up that she walked quietly (albeit tentatively) behind me, past all sorts of bags, horses, and barn 'stuff' and into her stall. After getting her bedded in and relaxing, I sat outside her stall and ate some egg sandwiches I had made. Carmen hung her head out of her stall and we kept each other company.

After a bit I took her into the arena to lunge. Five Fires Equestrian Centre is relatively new venue and it has a beautiful indoor- light and airy:

photo from the website

There's a para rider who rides there and so there's a ramp for her to use to mount. Underneath makes good storage. For Carmen it was very freaky. As was the observation lounge windows. Another spooky spot was the far end where there was daylight showing out of the door. I was thinking that I wasn't riding because I was all alone but then a young girl came and was riding a really cute little bay QH. I quickly tacked up and headed back in. Carmen was spooky in the same areas but I was able to gradually ride her closer to the 'scary places' and there were no big spooks or bolts. I didn't ride her long but I was thrilled with how she was willing to trust me. 

I put her in her stall, left some hay to be given to her later and headed to my friends' house to spend the night. They had supper waiting for me so technically I had two suppers. It was great to catch up on what was going on and see how great they are doing. I headed to bed early and ended up sharing my bed with one of their dogs on one side of me and a cat on the other. It was very cosy. 

The next morning I gassed up the truck and bought a coffee and yogurt to take with me. I had already had a muffin and coffee at my friends house so I technically had two breakfasts. I'm essentially a hobbit. 

At the barn Carmen nickered when she saw me. I fed her and picked out her stall and then hung with her drinking my coffee. She tried to steal the granola topping for my yoghurt. After I took her out to the outdoor ring - which will be the warm up ring for the show. I was so impressed with how quiet and calm she was in the outdoor. She was curious but not worried. We lunged out there briefly and I then put her back in her stall so I could watch some lessons. She called a bit in the morning but was not too bad. 

exploring the outdoor

I was thrilled with how relaxed and curious Carmen was. She wanted to meet everyone and was generally just on her most charming behaviour. I was starting to really look forward to my lesson.